by Tired of Bullying
I was bullied and tormented for around five years in my last workplace and I believe I've been blackballed and given a bad reference from my last boss.
After five years I just wanted to move on and do well but again the same patterns and the same people appeared again but just in another form.
I believe that in certain small companies that are going through changes or pressures certain situations will occur.
1. A narcissist, sociopath or bully will get into a management role.
2. They will 'protect' their new position by forming a gang or clique around them.
3. Anyone threatening any of them will be a target for bullying or mobbing.
Chances are the new manager will be in a position they aren't trained for or comfortable with. Hence the reason to surround themselves with protectors and enablers. Many of whom will have got their jobs directly as a result of simply working with them before at another firm or with their old boss. Sure this type of nepotism happens innocently all the time but cynically they are recruited not for the good of the firm but to form a bubble around the narc.
After a few months or years you will now have a toxic, political workplace that is on a downward spiral that won't be solved until the narc is removed.
It's fairly obvious after a while to spot the clique.
1. You notice or hear phoney or exaggerated laughter around the narc that seems cringeworthy or not normal.
2. If you cross any of the main group the others will take it in turns to shun you. People who you got along fine with will suddenly stop talking to you. This in time will develop into mobbing.
3. Hypocrisy is very clear. The same rules do not apply to them. They do not practice what they preach.
4. Things you said in confidence about the clique members will be repeated out loud to try and humiliate you. One member who maybe genuinely liked and respected you has been turned by them through lies. They are telling others that you are dangerous, bad for the company, crazy, lazy, ugly, stupid, gay, worthless or whatever insult comes to them. Due to the nature of their control they can quite easily turn others against each other or onto one target. Again the patterns and behaviours are extremely predictable and obvious to the target and somehow enablers and sycophants or new recruits can't or don't want to see it.
If you're being presented with an open door for progression and more financial reward but have to sell out then most people will accept it gladly at first.
5. Promotion and rewards. Clique members probably do very little all day whilst non clique members do the job of two or three workers. Clique members will get special treatment such as long breaks, free holidays, promotions that aren't needed or justified, invited to nights out, bigger offices etc etc. For non clique members this annoys them further and eventually will realise what is going on and slow down or leave.
As you can see none of the above is good for the company. It's entirely all about the ego and career of the 'elephant in the room' narcissist. The flying monkeys around them falsely think that they actually deserve their place at the top of the tree. Before you know it you have a dangerous group of people who think they can do anything and get away with it.
I believe that this creates a situation to occur that enables corporate scandals or financial meltdowns. I would bet my mortgage on their being a narcissist pulling the strings responsible for the Enron situation or the banking crisis.
Cynically I wonder if the general public will ever be educated in how to spot this and stop it happening? It's extremely difficult to stop, especially when most of it is done behind the surreptitiously and for the good of the new clique members. In my experience HR are usually hoodwinked also and part of the problem.
This isn't a story as such but my thoughts and feelings on the matter. I have read a few stories on here and hundreds elsewhere. It amazes me how similar and almost identical they all are. Surely society could be more informed on the matter? Until it happened to me I had no idea about narcs and their disorders. Are medical professionals part of the issue? How deep is the problem?