What Every Target of Workplace Bullying Needs to Know

Financial Counselor Endures Mobbing Then Bullying

I have experienced mobbing, left without notice and then was bullied on my next job. The mobbing happened when I was at a branch office. One of the main reasons I was chosen for that office was because the owner of the company who worked out of the company's main office wanted one mature person in this branch to keep an eye on the kids. I had just turned 50 and was in an office 20-25 year olds.

The problem was that I was not the manager of the office so unless I was to "tattle" I could not stop anything. They openly spoke about their sex lives, alcohol abuse etc. with each other and clients. I just did my work and did not try to prevent them from this. Even though I never said a word 5 out 6 of them start making things up about my work being done wrong. My work was fine and they just needed to make me feel uncomfortable.

The straw that broke the camel's back was this. A client was at my desk and he could not hear very well. We needed some information regarding his insurance and I had called before his appointment and was told one thing and when he arrived he said he called from home and was told something else. At his request, I called the insurance company and had the call on speaker at kind of a high volume only because he wanted it louder so he could hear. The next day the office manager who was off at the time this happened came down on me for being unprofessional and violating the man's privacy etc. I told him that it was the client's idea and the manager just would not hear it.

A few other things that were not even true got me in trouble over the next few months and always happened when he was off and a certain girl was working with me. So I put my suspicion to a test. I made an appointment for the hard of hearing man when I knew this girl would be working with me. She always wandered around eating when she was not busy so just when I knew she was in perfect earshot I told the man that I was called out over the speaker phone call. He immediately responded why? You did what I asked you to do for me. Then I said oh I don't know maybe someone is out to get me and I laughed. The client said that better not be happening because if you aren't here I will stop coming here. Well, the next day when the manager came in he starts telling me how unprofessional I was again and I should have never discussed internal business with a client. Bingo! That told me I was right as to who was tattling & lying. So I told him that I set her up and initiated that conversation for her benefit to prove to myself she was telling him things about me.

He did not even address that instead he told me how hard he had worked to build up this business and he would not let me ruin it. I asked him why he did not fire me - this by the way is taking place in the middle of the sales floor. (Very professional). His response was not quick enough for me I told him I would make it easy on him and this was my notice. I sat down at my desk and typed up the resignation and included a date that was 2 weeks from the day I was quitting and stated that I would gladly leave sooner. The next morning he calls me at home and says yeah I spoke with the owner and we feel it would not be a good thing if you came back. I shrieked with delight and never looked back.

It actually was not a problem getting another job at all. - Keeping it was.

The new place had the husband & wife owners in the office and an office manager. The manager made sure the place had a constantly swinging door he hired and fired all the time. Some quit because of his bullying but most of us just complained to each other about him and how he mistreated all of us.

Others began to notice what I was trying to deny in my head that he had seemed to really focus on me all of the sudden. If I would email him to get a date that I needed his reply would be soon. This went on & on.

In the meantime we got a new data base that had a lot of coding to produce different reports. Each specific department had to learn the codes that pertained to their jobs. Except I had to learn it all. I was happy to do so. I loved the job, the people I worked with everything except the manager. Trainers from the company the data base came from were in and out for months training each department. As a group we all helped each other if we saw someone made a mistake we would tell them it was truly team work.

So after months of these rude emails I replied to one of his by telling him that I would no longer tolerate his unprofessional and uncivil behavior. The next day I was summonsed to his office he said he wanted to talk about the email and fired me. In our state you really can be fired without reason but I thought I'd politely ask and was told that the email made it clear to him that I was in over my head and I made too many mistakes and it had gotten too much of a burden to keep going behind me to correct them. Very calmly I told him I was shocked and thanked him for the opportunity and went home. I still don't know what mistakes he was referring to but I figured it was no use to fight his mind was made up.

In writing this I now see that in the first case I behaved in a passive aggressive manner which did not work for me. But I still had my dignity. In the 2nd case I stood up for myself which felt great but that didn't work for me either. I really hope I am not a magnet.

Comments for Financial Counselor Endures Mobbing Then Bullying

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Learn From Experience How Not To Be a Bully Magnet
by: Anton Hout

Considering how prevalent workplace bullying and mobbing is it might be easy to start to think you are a magnet for bullies.

Certain people do attract the attentions of bullies more than others however. Those who are especially good at their jobs, those who are conscientious and those who have integrity and might be tempted to stand up to injustice are prime targets.

In the second case standing up for yourself and emailing the bully that you would not tolerate his abuse proved to be the last straw. Bullies really don't like to be challenged.

I also worked in a place (for a short time) where the bully manager abused everyone and kept a revolving door policy. Upper management didn't really understand (or care) what was going on but this manager cost the company a fortune in continuous recruiting and re-training costs not to mention the impact on productivity, morale, creativity, etc. It was so bad that one lady started in the morning and quit at lunch. Another guy started on Monday and quit on Wednesday.

At least now you are well aware of what to look out for. Don't let yourself get baited into responding inappropriately such as with passive aggressive behavior or airing grievances you have with the company with customers. These slips will be used against you while the bullying and mobbing that precipitated it is usually ignored.

Bully Magnet
by: Anonymous

Anthony : I think you are right about about some people attracting bullies. The first time I experienced bullying it was serious - I ended up getting fired but they had to change it to voluntary redundancy otherwise I was going to have to take it to court (although I wasn't up for it I was so exhausted).

Second time I think it was the start of bullying by a co-worker, but I wasn't going to wait around to find out. I went into my boss and said to him "Do I not use my common Sense and do I not have any control over my own job", which he then gave me management spill so I gave him my resignation letter and told him I don't feel like being micromanaged into a early grave. My instincts were right though - later I found out that the personnel who worked with this co-worker on projects ended up complaining/transfering/leaving. A lot of these had quite similar personality (no matter what age they were). Good at their jobs/creative/good interpersonal skills even quite tolerate of difficult people if that is part of the persons personality - but can tell a artificial BS a mile away.

Bully Target
by: Anonymous

I agree. I've been targetted by three bullies, all subordinates. My mistake was letting on to them that I was on to their bully ways. In each case they attempted to end run me to my supervisors with claims of being the victim. I was fortunate to have the backing of co-workers in each case, but after the last close call, I vowed to keep my mouth shut despite what I see. Most organizations will fail to see that you are trying to do the right thing for workplace harmony and will fall for the bullies jeckl and hide tactics.

Tacit Approval
by: Anonymous

When I googled 'Attracting Bullies' my first 2 hits were mayor newspaper articles from psychologists saying that people with poor social skills who act aggressively attract bullies...deriding them as causes of bullying!!!(no shit)

It seems society is happy to support bullying, and not the victims.

Further down the google page was real info on the realities of bullying.

As if a little chinese guy surrounded by jocks is the aggressor! please!!

Try googling it....

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