What Every Target of Workplace Bullying Needs to Know

My Son John

When John was in first grade, he started saying things like "I'm stupid" or "I'm dumb"... I would tell him he was not stupid or dumb, and why was he saying those things about himself? He told me that the kids in his class kept telling him he was.

Being that it was first grade, I thought it would pass in time, but by 3rd grade, it wasn't passing, the constant name calling was continuing. He started saying things like "mom you don't know what I go though at school"… "I can't take it anymore...". Then, I actually saw the bullying with my own eyes a couple of times, so I knew then he wasn't exaggerating.

All the bullying of my son was starting to effect him psychologically. He had very low self-esteem, didn't want to participate in sports because the other boys would call him names and make fun of him when he did. He started exhibiting signs of depression.

The beginning of 4th grade, I went to the principal and had a meeting with her on the bullying of my son by his class. She suggested what he should do when kids were bullying him, like walk away, etc... This made me mad, because the kids who perpetrated these acts were getting away with this behavior and were not being reprimanded. He was experiencing subtle bullying in the classroom, as well as overt bullying on the playground. The bullying was everywhere for him!

I find that the school does very little to combat the bullying, and doesn't take issue with the perpetrators. And, they seemed to try to build a case against my son afterwards, maybe to protect their interests, like sending him home reprimands for talking, which seemed to happen in excess after I reported the bullying, but rarely before.

I am to the point now where I will take my son out of the public school and put him in a private school, and if worse comes to worse, I will have him tutored and home-schooled for the remainder of his school years. I don't know what else to do.

Comments for My Son John

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My Son John
by: Rosalea (Kansas)

My heart goes out to you. I totally agree that many times the perpetrators are not reprimanded and the bullying goes unchecked. When you are dealing with such ignorance, there probably is little choice but to put your son in another school. It is tragic that it has to come to that. People who are bullied certainly need a "buffer" person to help them overcome the bullying. You are a good parent to "buffer" and care.

home schooling
by: susan

You are a good parent.
I was bullied in school when growing up and i can tell you that any adults would not have been able to stop it. The kids would have found a way to make life hard, no matter who was telling them to knock it off. A lot of kids know this. So , unfortunately there is not a lot the school can do , im my opinion, other then to prevent violence. But the sneaky tricks and hurtful whispered remarks cannot be controlled by adults.
I think home-schooling is a good option. I used to think it wasn't, because i thought that kids would not get enough real world experience and socilalizing. But my friend home schools her 3 kids and they are well-adjusted, quite social with everyone, confident and fully involved in sports, community projects and even field trips with other home schooled kids.
I believe that bullying behavior stems from insecure kids, (later grown-ups) who are in environments that can be daunting or challenging. Public school can be scary to many and some kids respond with aggression - they are determined to not be the one who gets picked on, so they do it to others. Those kids are not going to stop or be won over. Its best to have your son in a happier, calmer environment where he and other home schooled kids can feel more free to be themselves and have fun. Its so much easier for them to learn with out the painful distractions of being picked on. Good luck to you and your son.

Resource for bullying
by: Anonymous

Hi my heart really bleeds for what you and your son are going through. You might like to check out this free report and books that I found at this website www.empowermentfoundation.co.uk
This gives immediate techniques that a child can use and it is wrapped in a cute little story. Hope things get better for both of you

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