When having to deal with a bully at work, I find myself obsessing about their intentions and actions. I have become more sensitive because of their spreading small slighting rumors and things they say to me when no one else is around.
If put in a personality type I would be a type C: calm on the outside nervous inside. At first I would frustrate the guy because I didn't show my emotions but over time have been growing more paranoid and fearful. My boss, is trying to get him promoted and I realize he won. I hope this will actually give him enough rope to hang himself, but know the boss will sweep things under the rug if they can.
Back to my paranoia, I've been so obsessed with worry that I'm going to be targeted again I've let go of my daily pleasures. I used to read and play the guitar, and work on art, and research. But, the worry of new threats and rumors have diverted my attention to the point I can hardly converse about the things I love. I hope to gain my life back. And with a change in positions within my corporation, hope to gain enough distance (insulation as I call it).
I pray numerous times a day. I have moments of strength, but have let this guy rule my life. God please help me regain my loves. Please let my new position be far enough away. I would have killed myself by now had I not a partner. Still, due to my worry concerning my bully I see my love going away. So, I guess it's a matter of change if I can regain my strengths, at least enough to not think the ultimate escape is viable.