What Every Target of Workplace Bullying Needs to Know


When having to deal with a bully at work, I find myself obsessing about their intentions and actions. I have become more sensitive because of their spreading small slighting rumors and things they say to me when no one else is around.

If put in a personality type I would be a type C: calm on the outside nervous inside. At first I would frustrate the guy because I didn't show my emotions but over time have been growing more paranoid and fearful. My boss, is trying to get him promoted and I realize he won. I hope this will actually give him enough rope to hang himself, but know the boss will sweep things under the rug if they can.

Back to my paranoia, I've been so obsessed with worry that I'm going to be targeted again I've let go of my daily pleasures. I used to read and play the guitar, and work on art, and research. But, the worry of new threats and rumors have diverted my attention to the point I can hardly converse about the things I love. I hope to gain my life back. And with a change in positions within my corporation, hope to gain enough distance (insulation as I call it).

I pray numerous times a day. I have moments of strength, but have let this guy rule my life. God please help me regain my loves. Please let my new position be far enough away. I would have killed myself by now had I not a partner. Still, due to my worry concerning my bully I see my love going away. So, I guess it's a matter of change if I can regain my strengths, at least enough to not think the ultimate escape is viable.

Comments for Obsession

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by: Sonya

What you are experiencing is quite understandable after all you have been through. It is a stage of trauma. You are recognising this and wish to recover this is very positive. You don;t say whether you are receiving any medical assistance - if not please do speak to GP and maybe explore counselling - it is no shame but a strong thing to do. It will also be good to have someone as well as your partner to talk to. It sounds to me like you may be suffering from depression, which as I say is quite understandable.

Keeping up your interest and hobbies is vital for you , do not cut yourself off. I too experienced what you did, I dont have a partner, what saved my life was buying a little dog and walking it daily, the exercise is good for depression and I met lots of nice people some of who have become good friends. The good thing about it is you can keep talking very basic if you dont feel up to it ie , how olds your dog? looks like rain etc.

Good luck and God bless - remember - the best revenge is to go on to live a happy and successful life.

Reply to 'Obsession'
by: Anonymous

I feel for you. It is a terrible thing to be the subject of a bully.
Don't spend your life worrying about the bully to the extent that you shut out the rest of your life. Get some professional help - outside your organisation.
I would look for another job, if I was not prepared to file a complaint.
I've been in the same position and understand the paralysis and despair, anxiety and depression you have to the best I can. Rely on your friends and family and help from your Doctor/Therapist.
You can sue the organisation for their breach of duty to provide you with a safe work environment, but it is a difficult and traumatic process.
The best revenge you can have is to be successful, so reclaim your life and leave that dreadful place.
All the best.

I know where you're coming from
by: Anonymous

I've been through the same thing. My foreman belittled and humiliated me over and over and even after it stopped i couldn't stop worrying and fretting over what i should have done or said and i quit . I still think about him all the time it drives me nuts to be honest that i could let one person have so much of an affect on me. It really sucks but that's the way it is i guess i hope time can change it and therapy

I understand
by: Michelle

I'm the same personality type as you describe, calm on the outside, nervous inside. I had my own workplace bully at my old place of work. It's so far in the past and thankfully I've moved on enough that I really don't want to re-live it by describing things (I used to have no choice about whether I wanted to re-live the experience... that lasted until almost a year after I was terminated).

My automatic reaction was to go into "neutral", even when she was yelling at me for things that she had no reason to, in the centre of the office floor where it would be noticed by all. She was looking for some kind of reaction out of me. Someone complained to my manager for me (thankfully there were some good people there) and what he told me was invaluable, because it turned out that when things became stressful for him, he would also use the same aggressive tactics on other people: he told me that my staying calm and avoiding confrontation would only make this woman angrier.

I guess we have to learn to stick up for ourselves as soon as possible when we feel in our gut that we have been treated unfairly.... easier said than done, I know.

suicide is not the answer
by: Anonymous

Yoz should kill the guy. You should kill them all.

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