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Reasonable Consequences

My daughter has just started high school, she is very outgoing and is really interested in playing sports for the first time. She made a mistake at the end of 8th grade that involved drinking. We dealt with the situation and gave her reasonable consequences for the offense.

About a month later, she was invited to her friend's beach house for a week with several other families and friends. The parents had alcohol galore sitting out and would play drinking games and get drunk while the kids were left to fend for themselves. My daughter was given a drink one night and she had a sip. One of the boys got really drunk and puked everywhere and when the parents found out she admitted to having a sip thinking that they had already known that drinking was going on since the kids had been drinking several nights just not to excess so no one would get drunk. She didn't have any the other nights but she thought the parents were condoning it.

When she told the truth, she was asked to leave along with 2 other girls. She didn't turn in her friends for drinking the other nights and took her punishment. I am very proud of her for telling the truth. However, the parents have continued to bad mouth my daughter to other parents in their "sewing circle" because it wasn't her "1st offense". The parents are spreading the news like a wild fire among their circle which is affecting my daughter's friendships and possibly even her academic and sports career at the school.

I didn't blame the parents who "supplied" the alcohol. I talked with them at the time and they said it was disappointing but that it was over and dropped. My daughter has paid her dues but these parents keep spreading it. WHAT DO I DO? My daughter may get kicked off the team for something she did 5 months ago because parents are talking about it and the coach said she would kick anyone off the team if they made the team look bad.

She is a good kid who made a stupid mistake and we aren't parents who supply alcohol or have it around when kids come over. I can't believe a parent would intentionally harm another child. My daughter is a straight A student, she has lots of friends and is really an average teen. She's made mistakes and paid for them and is truly sorry but she can't get out from under this because parents keep spreading it around. I really hope their children never screw up.

I want to protect my daughter and her future, but I don't want to make her life more miserable but if she gets kicked off the team I will raise a stink and start naming names. What else can we do? Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Comments for Reasonable Consequences

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Reassonable consequences
by: Aura

You know what mum I get what your trying to do, protect your daughter, I get that your hurting for your girl
Naming people and causing a stink I do not believe will help your girl in the long run. I think what you need to do should it happen! is to make sure that your girl got kicked of the team for the right reasons, like shes not good enough to be in the team. So your first port of call is the coach, to find out why she was kicked of the team. The coach will give you the answer. Your girl sounds lovely yeah she made a mistake, but its done.
"People who throw stones end up having Rocks thrown back at them".
Don.t be like the parent whose spreading rumours I reckon that parent is trying to move the alcohol drunken adults party scene away from her by making a big scene about your girl. Mum don't do anything without your girls approval. Just make sure that alcohol is out of your girls life while playing sport. Good luck

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