What Every Target of Workplace Bullying Needs to Know

Workpalce Bullying At A Full Service Day Spa And Salon(?)

Hi everyone. I have been reading all these stories, and I felt that way as well. I just found this page today.

I moved to a different state and I was new in town. I also started a new career in this new state at the same time. My new career of choice is massage therapy. I love massage and still do it. I didn't realize it at the time, but I was bullied. I was out of school for the longest time and never really was bullied until massage school. The first day of class was a real indicator and one which I regret ignoring. They did not address me, and ignored me when I walked into the class room. I'm in my 40's and the classmates were mostly in their 20's and early 30's.

The first couple of months were okay. Then it started. I got criticized for all kinds of things. They said I did all kinds of things wrong, and not performing the massage right. I spent a lot of time with tutors on the side for I got an idea what was happening and in order to get my massage practice in, I had to spend the money. It turned out to be that I would get negative commentators, rumor spreading, and not massaging with me in class. It was only about half the class, but that was good enough to affect my grades a bit. I ended up talking to the school council and that didn't work. I ended up leaving that one class for another and only going part time instead of full time. I eventually, got a lot of stress from this and had trouble sleeping and an upset stomach. I was new in town, and didn't know who was who, on top of a new culture in massage school. I gained some weight. I felt alone and scared. What did I walk into? Then a guy I massaged with in school, for homework, started stalking me in public. I was followed by him all over town. That was embarrassing to me since I was new here. Thank goodness my husband stood by and protected me. I should have called the police at that point. I just ignored him, and kept on walking. I still had trouble sleeping at night. It finally stopped because I think I kept my cool in public with him and didn't overreact. It still drained me though.

I finally graduated from massage school, but it took longer and more $$$ than expected due to half the class ganging up on me. My grades got better in the other classes. I did make some friends in the other classes as well. So I ended up winning that fight.

Since then, I have been steadily working and working hard at a day spa. I have a question for you all. I work in a full service day spa & salon. Since I started a few years ago, I have had a couple of run ins with one of the facial/nail techs there. She would argue with me over were to put a pillow on the massage table even after I made the table for her, in public, in one of the facial rooms that also doubles as a massage room. Then recently, there was a "which room do I use" snafu at work. The receptionist told me to use the wrong room, and it was the facial/nail techs room and she blasted me over that. She said "since I've been here for a while I should know not to ask the receptionist about which room to use and ask us" etc. No one else was around to ask, it was early and my client was waiting. She basically said I was not considerate to her and her space. I've never been talked down to in the work place before like that. Is this work place bullying?

One thing I have noticed, is in my experience, that bullying and aggression seem to be more prevalent in the younger crowd. I maybe wrong, just my experience. I don't feel I'm a bully magnet, but I did feel like a target, especially when I was stalked. One thing a teacher told me, is it had to do with different values and beliefs and that was apart of the aggression towards me, as well as me being too smart for them. They were really young and not to bright.

Now in the spa I am the oldest one there. No big deal. My managers love me, but I may have to consider is this place really worth my time? I am wondering how can I trust this girl at work if she keeps flying off the handle like this to me? It is a small spa. I have my several years there now. I can use it for my resume. This girl doesn't communicate to me and when she does, it is about what she thinks I did wrong. What do you all suggest I do? Thanks J9

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