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OvercomeBullying.org Newsletter -- Issue #017 -- How Has Bullying Affected Your Happiness?
May 11, 2012
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OvercomeBullying.org Newsletter #017
Don't Worry, Be Happy
How happy are you? If you are being bullied at work or school (or anywhere for that matter) you might not be able to say you are very happy at all. You won't be happy about the bullying itself but you may have also found that your happiness level overall has dropped and the bullying has affected other areas of your life.
When bullying starts it may not really affect us. We may not even be aware it is happening, as in the case of bullies who go behind our backs to start rumors and skew the opinions of others against us. But as we begin to notice that something is going on and as things escalate it will take more and more time and mental energy to process what is happening. In other cases there will be no doubt that bullying is taking place as the aggressor is blatantly in our face and nakedly hostile. As things escalate and the bully creates more and more negative consequences in our lives it is natural to be angry, confused, upset and depressed that you have been targeted for such undeserved and outrageous treatment.
Of course the direct words, actions and consequences of the bullying contibute to your unhappiness, but how bad things get can be due in large part to things that are within our control.
The effects of bullying can start a cascade of problems that affect all aspects of our lives and contribute to an ever descending spiral of despair. But there are many ways that you can help yourself just by not being your own worst enemy. The more depressed, worried and angry we become the more it eats away at our happiness, the more we want to find ways of alleviating that pain. Some of those ways are not only not helpful but they wind up doing us more harm and making the bully's job easier.
For example, many will start to "self-medicate" using alcohol, drugs and food as a salve for the mind. Of course that leads to even more problems as we run ourselves down physically. But since the root of the problem is our thinking and how our thinking then affects our emotional state another approach would be to get a handle on our thought processes. I'm not saying your thoughts about the bullying and the worry it can create are not justified, it's just that you need to give yourself a break.
Using tools like Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR), developed by Jon Kabat-Zinn can help you get a handle on your own thought patterns that are doing you more harm than good. Here's a brief descripton of MBSR from Wikipedia:
If you are new to mindfulness I can recommend the 2 CD set Mindfulness for Beginners by Jon Kabat-Zinn. Here is what one reviewer on Amazon.com said:
On Amazon.com you will see there are many other books and CDs by Jon Kabat-Zinn so you can deepen your understanding and practice of mindfulness. Another book I can recommend is The Mindfulness Solution: Everyday Practices for Everyday Problems by Ronald D. Siegel, PsyD.
Speaking of ways to deal with unhappy states of mind, Ricky Powell who has contributed a chapter to the updated version of our ebook What Every Target of Workplace Bullying Needs to Know has released a new book called Happiness Rocks: A Powerful Blueprint to Master the Art of Lifelong Happiness.
These resources will help you go a long way toward your goal of relieving the stress, anxiety, depression and anger that plague so many targets of bullying.
Please forward this newsletter to anyone you feel would also benefit from this information. Thank you for your help in spreading the word.
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Thought for Today
"I am still determined to be cheerful and happy, in whatever situation I may be; for I have also learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions, and not upon our circumstances."
~ Martha Washington
What Every Target of Workplace Bullying Needs to Know
NEW Updated Version now features a new chapter by Ricky Powell, author of "Happiness Rocks."
This ebook is based on real experience. Develop strategies to deal with abusive workplaces and the devastating effects of workplace bullying. Learn how to respond effectively and how to talk to management and HR. Find out how to transform your anger into a force for positive change and explore directions you can take to move forward...
If you are being subjected to workplace bullying or mobbing find out more about what you need to know here today...
From Conflict to Calm
Cristina Diaz, author of From Conflict to Calm, has offered our readers a discount of $9.97 OFF the purchase of her ebook.
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