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What Every Target of Workplace Bullying Needs to Know

Bipolar Coworker

I need help/advise/suggestions!
I recently was hired by a small telecommunications vendor company... I love my job and I'm good at it. My problem -- the coworker that helped me land this job is also my biggest problem!

We met over 20 years ago while I was working on my Masters and then recently while I was working with my last company. We ran into each other while I was networking with the owner of her company & because her business was closely associated with my field, we began working together for business opportunities.

I am a very strong, confident woman. I have worked hard to get to where I am both professionally and personally. I do not doubt myself.

My friend/coworker is very insecure, controlling, and does not like to make mistakes. She very much enjoys directing/leading teams; however, what I'm discovering is she does not know her product which makes her directions unclear, incorrect and creates a lot of work for others.

My first experience with her bipolar personality showed up the first week I went to work. She decided to take vacation that week. During my work week, she called me at least 5-7 times a day wanting to know "what I was doing or what was so and so doing." If I did not answer my phone when she called, she would have the receptionist locate me. I found this behavior very odd.

Upon her return from vacation, she was very upset that my manager had set up a temporary desk for me to work. She expressed her comments directed at me by saying, "they never did anything like this for me when I began work here." "Don't worry, it won't always be like this, they'll forget you." I need to mention that she made it clear that when she began her employment with this company that she would be working from home; she did not want to report to the office. My manager wants me to work at the office.

From then on, she would take over my desk whenever she was in town. Having not ever encountered something like this before nor did I want to start an issue, I did not do or say say anything to her.

At that time, we got along pretty good; however, she did talk to me a lot about why so and so coworker did not return her calls/emails; why did so and so not do this or that which she had requested; or why did so and so keep her out of the loop on this project. I listened to her concerns and tried to coach her on ways to make the situations better. I also tutored her on products/processes that she did not know about or needed to learn. I did this hoping it would make her feel more secure about herself and her position.

During this time she tried to involve me by going to coworkers on her behalf to discuss these issues. She also tried to persuade me to go to our manager about issues she was either having with him or our coworkers. That's when I drew the line and simply said, "I will not do that...it is inappropriate and I do not feel comfortable doing that. If you have an issue with anyone, you should take care of it yourself." She could not believe that I would not help her in that way and inferred that I was not being a team player.

Another situation occurred, one Friday afternoon while she, I and a coworker were discussing a customer solution. All of a sudden, she starts yelling, "Why do you treat me like this. I am not stupid. You all just ignore me like I'm not here, etc." I got scared and didn't know what to say. My coworker acted like nothing had happened. The only thing I thought to do was to touch her hand and say, "calm down." She threw my hand off and then began throwing paper and her work things on the floor. I then left the room because it upset me so. Later when she discussed it with me, she laughed and said to me, "nothing ever bothers you." I could not believe my ears!

She called me over the weekend to apologize; however, that did not make me feel any better. On the following Monday, I went to my manager and explained the situation stating to him that I was not talking about her; I simply needed some advise. I described the Friday outburst by stating this was the second time she had erupted like this and I wanted to know what to do. Unfortunately, all he did was listen and said he really did not know why she did that nor what I could do. He said that he had noticed how insecure she was, but he was also confused as to why she did not know the product or processes since she had been with his company for over a year. I had only been there at that time less than 1 month.

There have been more incidents like this. I will not bore you guys with the details. But the last one occurred when we were away at training. We had overslept for the last day of training because she did not set the alarm clock. When we both awoke, she wanted to take her shower first; however, she made 3 phone calls, pulled out her outfit, then packed some things all before she got in to the shower. Needless to say I was last and she was waiting on me. She impatiently sat tapping her legs, then my phone rang...it was my manager. I took the phone call -- there were some issues he needed to discuss with me. During my call, she repeatedly make comments making it difficult to hear him.
Afterward she said, "I don't know why he called you. He knew we have to get to class. Now we're really be late. I can't believe it. It's so rude to be late. It puts the instructor in an awkward situation." I responded by saying, "I don't want to make you late. Why don't you go on down. I'll follow in a bit." She repeated these things over and over until I got mad. I responded, "there is nothing stopping you from going to the class. I can take care of myself. I don't mind walking into the class late. This situation is no one's fault and I cannot hurry any faster."

Needless to say she did not like my reply. She said she was waiting on me for us to take our luggage to the car. I stated, "I'll leave mine with the front desk. It's no big deal. You go on ahead & I'll catch up." She said "why do you want to do that?" I said so you don't have to wait on me. With that I took my stuff and headed out the door to the elevator. She got very angry at me because she had to pull the luggage cart by herself. When she got into the elevator she said I was acting like a child and started yelling at me. I said "do not yell at me," twice. Then she said "you can find your own way home." She had driven to the training class. I did not say anything to her after that!

Again after this flare up, she went back to being nice, with a slight cold shoulder. I simply ignored it and acted like nothing had happened. However, during our drive home, I was talking with my husband on the phone, she said, I want to talk with him and took it. She proceeded to tell him about our disagreement, not in details, but to let him know we had an argument! I thought this very odd and inappropriate!

I'm really at a loss here. I have never run across an adult who acts like this in the workplace. I have encountered these people socially, but once I find them out, I try not to associate with them again.

Can anyone help me? I do not know what to do or what to say to this person when she acts like a child bully. She really upsets me by her inappropriate behavior and it appears she has been doing this for a very long time both professionally and personally with her family and friends.

My concern now is her latest tactic -- intimidation and bullying with her words. I am not a passive person. Those who know me know I speak my mind. But in this situation, I do not know what to say simply because she makes me angry with her actions and words and I get emotional. I am trying my best not to react or say anything because I know it will do no good. My goal has been to try and get along with her so that we have a professional work relationship but I do not think this is working.

Any suggestions?
I could really use some help!

Comments for Bipolar Coworker

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Save yourself
by: Anonymous

My advise to you would be to get away from this woman A.S.A.P., even if you have to find other employment. It is not your responsibility to "fix" her. Her behavior is going to escalate. You are going to be injured mentally, physically or both. Life is too short to deal with a toxic person like this.

Sounds like a Serial Bully
by: Solange

I, too, worked with someone like this. I realized after a while that the behavior is very purposeful. In my case, the person was my subordinate. I had known her for 3 years before hiring her and did not have a hint that she would be so difficult. After her probation was up, she started behaving in ways like you are describing -- like a 5 year old. The purpose of bullying is to cause psychological harm in someone who threatens the bully. Because the bully is emotionally immature, the behavior appears justified to that individual. Five-year-olds grab toys, have temper tantrums, shout "no" and fold their arms in front of their chests. Isn't it shocking to see those behaviors in an adult? But it works, doesn't it? She's controlling you. By forcing you to react, she doesn't have to face her own feelings of incompetence... and its YOUR fault. Unfortunately, you don't have a boss who can see through this. I was in the same situation and left a job I loved for many years. In my present job, I ran across another one of these people, but I had educated myself through books and websites like this. I recognized the pattern and reported the person for harassment. The behavior was stopped in its tracks. I don't know how to solve your problem, but keep reading and blogging. Workplace bullying can only be stopped when people recognize it and have the guts to do something about it.

Report this to your manager
by: Betsy

If it were me, I would report the harrassment to my manager. I don't think you say in your post whether or not this is a possibility.

She is putting in a very stressful situation on a daily basis, but leaving the company might not be an option for you, with the economy so bad. I would definitely get your manager involved. I wouldn't classify her as bipolar, though, unless she has actually been clinically diagnosed with manic depression. But I would call her controlling, inappropriate, incompetant, and harrassing. Good luck.

Thank you
by: Bipoloar Writer

All, I really appreciate your responses. I since have spoken with my manager and explained what was happening... not in details but I simply stated that she was not carrying her load of the work which was putting too much on me.

I told him how she's harassed me about work (yes, over the weekend and evenings) and I didn't like it plus she was not even doing her job, which is sales. She was relying on me not only for selling but product management, support, training, etc. I think you get the picture.

Bottom line...my manager knows her behavior and told me to do my job as he hired me to do and he would handle her -- he has my back.

Things have been calm but man she is VERY MAD at me right now! heeheehee

You are not alone
by: Anonymous

Oh my goodness, I had a crazy day with a bipolar (I assume) co-worker. Where do I begin? She has always been controlling, talks about others and then has her breaks with them which makes me feel like she is doing it about me too. Today she was out of control and had a real outburst like never before. I told her that everything was blown out of proportion, and she wouldn't stop yelling at me. Saying hurtful things to me. I started to right down all of the weird stuff she has done and I decided that I am done with her! Hope this helps. UGH!

by: Anonymous

She sounds like a blister of a woman. I feel for you.

Does she have a twin?
by: Anonymous

I work in healthcare (scary) with a woman that could be your coworkers twin. The same over the top explosive manipulative behaviors. Unfortunately she is my superior which she feels entitles her to behave however she sees fit. I have tried to talk to management but have had little satisfaction - they listen and acknowledge but have done very little. I await her next explosion or meltdown and the subsequent attack on me...

Too new
by: Anonymous

I have a coworker who some others have called manic. I have only been in this job 2 weeks. To me she behaves as if she has been raised by wolves, with no courtesy or politeness or manners that are expected from polite society.

My 1st encounter: She was to explain/train me on something that she needs done. It was very hard to follow her. I told her I would need to ask her questions and be walked through the steps when implementing the tasks. I mentioned this to my manager and I was not too pleased with the response. Not a direct disagreement but one of those slight displeasures. Hence I began training with a different coworker who was very thorough and patient.

2nd encounter: She went on and on and on. Listening to her I began to believe she expected me to work full-time on the job she was describing. I am an administrative assistant but she told me she expected me to put on gloves and accession specimens. Then she went on and on about the smallest of details. (I can understand part of this as I can be quite anal about certain things and I like them done a certain way; although I realize it is unrealistic to expect others to do things exactly as you do.) Her behavior can be quite huffy because that day she was upset because I would not stay late to work nor go into the lab and she stormed off because I did not drop everything and stay and do what she said.

3rd encounter: OK so she is huffy... today I had a question about a batch (forms/papers) and she was in the lab working. She quietly said she had to finish that. I said ok come chat with me later. When she entered my office I was in the middle of a task. So we talked and then because she had made it clear the day before that these batches must be kept in the lab I asked her to return it and I would get it later. ONce again she had a fit and said she was not in the lab and she thought I was ready to scan it. (1) how would I know where she was (as I am in my office) and (2) why should I jump up and scan when she says so. So she expects others to respect her time but she cannot respect yours. (Or is it only me?!)

Warning another coworker described her as a bully. I have a meeting with my manager tomorrow.

by: Anonymous

Wow, ignorant much? The internet is an amazing thing, maybe you all should use it and stop assuming every crazy person you work with is bipolar. No wonder there is such a stigma that goes with it. You people are awful.

I am bi-polar
by: Rikki

I am that girl you were just reading about. I try to keep it under control. but what you dont understand is bipolar disorder is just like having cancer. YOU CANT CHANGE IT.

you guys make me sick. you cant even open your mind up enough to realize there is something wrong with her and get her help. you just sit and laugh.

by: Anonymous

I also work with someone who seems bipolar. She tried suicide 2 years ago, then left her husband and became a "cougar" for several months last year before she crashed and her husband took her back, and did I mention her husband is also the office manager where we both work. Things seemed ok for short period of time but beginning this past summer I started seeing signs of her being manic again, I was going to mention it to her husband but I was advised not to by a mutual friend. I'm sorry I didn't say anything back then because now everyone in the office is being effected and several of us fear for our lives, one coworker even parks near a back entrance in case she goes postal. I want to believe she wouldn't hurt anyone but having taken a knife to her throat once already really scares me. I may start seeing a professional to talk to about this because I really can't continue this for to much longer and I'm starting to realize that being fearful for your life is not way to go to work each day.

Note from Anton: I don't believe there is a correlation between being bipolar and going "postal". It is generally targets of workplace bullying rather than the bullies (bipolar or not) that go postal as a response to having their lives destroyed in the face of profound injustice.

My Life Story! Right Now!
by: Anonymous

Long story short... I work with someone who has threatened me and another co worker. There are only three of us in our building. Is so crazy and all over the place. Very obsessive and insecure. After her outbursts, always cries and apologizes! Has had more warnings than any one person I've ever seen! A know it all. Then has meltdowns! Has attempted suicide. Been arrested for assaulting her mother while drunk. The biggest bully you ever seen! It goes on and on. My work place refuses to fire her for fear of a lawsuit because she has disclosed she takes medication and sees a shrink! CRAZY!!! Oh,and the best part, I work nights with her, ALONE!

The Boss?s Daughter
by: Anonymous

I am having a very difficult time with my bipolar co-worker. I won?t bore you with all the things that have happened in four years, but if you have a bipolar co-worker, I?m sure you can imagine.

I am not a timid person by any means!, but since she is the boss/owner?s daughter, there isn?t much that I can do. I have talked to him (boss) about some of the problems with her attitude and serious mood swings, and he just tells me to try and ignore it. Well, I am sick of ?ignoring? it!! There are only 4 people working here, including my boss & myself, so it is difficult to ignore it, or try not to deal with it.

I am just at a loss. I used to love my job, but after this last episode, I just don?t know what it do.

by: Labreeze

I work with a "possible" "bipolar" or difficult behavior person who also is a pathological liar. It has been the worse ten months ever. I've been trying to find other employment but my field is a specialty and jobs are rare. The worse of it all is it is only me and this difficult coworker in a lab 10 whole hours a day. I don't know what to do.

I've been to my supervisor about her and you guessed it, nothing ever gets done. AND when my supervisor does come to check us, the supervisor always has her foot out the door when she walks in our lab. It has been so unfair from the very beginning because its always been all about her, the difficult coworker, and it doesn't matter who gets hurt in the process of her getting her way. I work in a hospital and she even gets away with not wearing scrubs like we are suppose to.

I've tried to be patient with her and listen to her grand stories and its got me frazzled. I walk in the break room and she follows me talking, I walk in my lab room and she follow me talking... Her mouth moves so fast and so much by the end of the day I'm exhausted and not from our work but from her.

What can I do? I'm exhausted from her chaotic ways and her moving mouth!

by: Anonymous

My problem is with a coworker that is always asking questions. When I answer the question he flips out. He says I am very negative and don't know anything. He is always trying to bait me into an argument. When I'm trying to work he always interrupts me so I can listen to his problems. When I try to avoid conflict he says I am ignorant and childish. This situation has caused a lot of undue stress on me. I am really tired of trying to make peace all the time and being a punching bag. I really don't want to get him in trouble but don't know what else to do. I guess i will keep ignoring him and maybe he will go away.

bipolar coworker
by: Anonymous

I know exactly how you feel. I too have been through similar situations in that area of the hot/cold dilemmas. All I can say is keep doing your best and try not to allow this person to get to your emotions just keep this person on her toes because sooner or later others will catch on and see her in real self. Keep on keeping on!

Bipolar Boss
by: Anonymous

Thank you for sharing your stories. The symptoms you describe are the same Ive noticed in my Supervisor. Six months into my new job & someone finally told me she is Bipolar. So here I sit looking for answers to my daily grind & it sounds like employers are at a loss as to what to do with these employees for fear of lawsuits. Yikes! I pray for compassion, understanding, & patience but the bullying is hard to stand. She has been very hurtful to me.

This is just workplace bullying
by: Anonymous

This is just workplace bullying. Ive worked with 2 women at two companies that top everything you describe here. They just do it to drive you crazy so you will quit. Ive even worked with bosses (directors) who USE people like this to drive away unwanted (too high a salary) employees. Wake up. It is most likely an act or even if it is real... GET OUT. I stayed for 7 months too long.. then quit (after going through all the steps with HR and management. I suffer from PTSD and have been unemployed for four years out of fear of having had worked with this woman (she will find a clone in my next job.. and it will all be repeated--- as I stated above.. I worked with two women like this.. both as successive jobs.. both doing the same thing but to a increasing degree..) Its flat out workplace stalking and abuse that will continue until I work with an employer not looking for *what can we do to this employee to make them quit*. It's blacklisting. Get off of linkedin, go back to old fashioned references.. and set boundries.. such as... *you did x,y,z. All make me uncomfortable. please communicate with me by documented email only as needed to as per your and my job description states (ie-you are not my boss) Please also respect my physical boundries-such as being within arms reach for a prolonged period of time-- your behavior has made me feel physically unsafe. Thank you.*

by: Anonymous

First of all I can appreciate how difficult of a situation you are in, whether the woman is bipolar or not. Second, I feel that it is unfair to "diagnose" someone as bipolar when you are not a professional. Third, I am upset by the fact that people think that bipolar people are being manipulative on purpose or hatefully. What is actually going on here is that we expend a great deal of energy trying to appear normal before we just start to lose it. We hate it more than anyone else does and do not like being called crazy or anything else. Let's try to remember that we are talking about fellow human being(s) here and those who are actually diagnosed with bipolar disorder or any other mental illness is chemically imbalanced which is something that they cannot change. You can get psych care, couns, and manage with meds which is what I have been doing personally, and successfully, for 3.5 yrs now.

Use of Bipolar
by: Anonymous

The use of the word "Bipolar" really is not totally appropriate here.

I have Bipolar Disorder and would just like to say that a lot of what is being said here perpetuates the idea that people with a mental health condition are unstable.

Bipolar disorder in general means a person is more likely to get high ie. hyper and low i.e. depressed. It varies from person to person and can be managed with medication/support in a lot of cases. If someone is changeable and intense it does not make them bipolar.

Bad choice of phrase me thinks. I hate the fact that a lot of "difficult" people are labelled "bipolar" and visa versa. The people discussed here sound difficult. If however someone does have a diagnosis, you could try to be a little more understanding. But also just because a person has a diagnosis does not give them the right to be an arsehole - but perhaps means that they are unaware that their behaviour is inappropriate. Just some thoughts.

difficult situation
by: anon

I work with someone that has bipolar disorder (clinically diagnosed). It is extremely stressful and I'm constantly on edge and wondering if my next interaction with her will be friendly and pleasant or if she'll be rude, condescending, disrespectful and inappropriate. It's awful. I get she has a disease, but that doesn't mean my own feelings and rights aren't important as well. I deserve to work in an environment free from harrassment where I'm treated with respect. Bending over backwards to make excuses and allowances for people doesn't help anyone. If someone with bipolar disorder's actions are negatively impacting other employees then they shouldn't be at work until their behavior is under control.

hostile workplace
by: Anonymous

i have complete compassion for people with emotional illness - however, if it impacts people in the workplace, something needs to be done to address it - my boss leaves me walking on eggshells and is beginning to trigger my own emotional issues and stress - no one should have to work in a hostile environment - my problem is that my boss owns the company - i will need to find a new job

Bipolar, Bullying, and The Toxic Comment..
by: Anonymous

I understand your frustrations, fears, stress, and sadness. I understand you don't want to hurt your friends' feelings. Bipolar isn't something that is easily controlled by either. It is just as hard as it is for you to deal with it on a work/friend basis as it is for your friend. Many Bipolar patients loose friends because of a chemical imbalance. Medicine is there to help out and so is the therapy. However, when people such as your friend isn't seeking help, or taking any medications or seeing a therapist/psychologist, can make yours, others, and her life much harder. It's hard to know if your friend is seeking any help/aid for her disorder. Try staying away from her for a while like a day or two or three, such as not being social with her. Answer her work related questions, help her out work related, other than that, do not socialize with for that time being, and when, which I believe she will, ask you why you're not wanting be her friend anymore (which she might say, because of refusal to take part in social friendship with her). Just tell her calmly,
"I don't want to hang out with you because your behavior hurts my feelings."


"Your behavior is inappropriate and I will not hand out with you until your behavior changes."


"You're bullying me and (when she asks you how's that so, giver her many examples such as the one's you've endured) friends don't bully friends."


"When you start treating me with respect, and stop bullying me, I'll be social with you again."

Now, yes, I know these questions might seem too harsh however, sometimes she needs to realize about her behavior and how it's affecting, and your friendship with her. Maybe she'll be your friend again, or she might not. You can pull her aside and explain the examples above on addressing these issues with her, and ask her, if she is getting help with her disorder, i.e. medication, therapy etc. This might be difficult to bring up to her so try saying something like this:

"You're my friend and your actions and behavior is affecting our friendship and I wouldn't want our friendship to end (assuming you don't by your post)... I have read that people with Bipolar Disorder need help by a doctor in getting medicine to help them with behaviors like yours, are you getting help?" Assure her she doesn't need to go into detail about it. When she answer this question, you'll get an idea as to whether or not to remain friends with her.

NO BIPOLAR PERSON IS TOXIC! IT'S AN INAPPROPRIATE INSULT AND THAT IS BULLYING! Ignore what the other person had said about your friend being toxic. This person just bullied your friend publicly on the internet.

I hope that this will help you out, and I am sorry to read that you’re being bullied. Try imagining being her shoes. It's not an easy situation for the both of you,

Go to WEBMD.com, this website will be able to inform you and you might be able to and you can learn more about Bipolar Disorder, if you haven't of course. :)

think about yourself
by: Anonymous

I came through your post and I reminded myself the same nightmare I was going through last year. I enjoyed a strong and stable career in my "dream job" when the deputy boss came back from her extended maternity leave.

Her constant mood swings, crying at the desk, yelling at me in front of others or even laughing at the meetings with board of directors, accusations of ignoring her and not talking to her, not greeting her. Systematically she withdrawn my work and replaced with the menial tasks. She started to spread incredible stories about me, questioning me as a person, my intellectual abilities and me in person being a woman.

I finished on long term sick leave diagnosed with PTSD and depression. I will not go further into details what was the reaction of a company for her misdeeds. She was a long term friend of the boss and nothing happened to her - any reprimand, nothing.

I would advise you to think over your situation. First o all it is not your fault at all because she is unbalanced. Realise that she is a completely sick person and despite how hard you would try she will not improve and she will not change. Review your personal and financial situation and decide if it is worth to thrive in such environment. Nothing is worth to sacrifice your sanity. Consider even to leave your job even if nothing is lined up for you.

Write a formal complain about the situation and behaviour of that person to HR (with a proof of receipt of the post). Take some time off, even go for a stress leave as long as you can. Separate yourself from the sick person and look for a new job, maybe it is a good time to start your own business?

Don't believe that any mediation will help in this matter - a sick person will not change.

If you experience frequent phone calls or emails, consider to report this to police as stalking. Cut down any contact you have with this person, change your phone number.

Remember that fighting in the Court with employer is coming through this again and will cost you a fortune and a permanent health damage.

Realize and explain to yourself that this may also be a short term problem or you and within a few weeks/months you may enjoy a completely new, happy life.

Remember, life is too short to thrive in such situation, with a toxic person ruining your life.

Dangerous co-worker
by: Anonymous

I have a co-worker who started with our company about a year ago. She's 60 years old, seemingly a gentle grandma type but smart as a whip! She seemed ready to learn and work with closely with me! Our friendship blossomed quickly. It wasn't a month later when I noticed some disturbing signs.

(1) Strange lofty comments. 'I can have any man I want.' 'I have the kind of body that makes everything look good'. (2) She grew increasingly paranoid over losing her job. Once I had to calm her down for 4 hours as she cried over the possibility of lay off. Even tho there was almost zero chance of it. She would not listen to logic. (3) Outbursts. She would accuse me of preventing her from getting training. She would start accusing me and yelling at me, twisting my words around. (4) Moody snappy comments. 'I know that!' 'I'm not stupid!' 'Stop and listen to me!' (5) She sometimes loses her ability to talk and needs to slap herself to get her words right. (4) She believes all my friends are her friends and gets very upset when they don't invite her to lunch along with me.

The reality is that I've been at this agency for a long time, I have good friends and strong support. I've noticed that she's made a strategic effort to befriend my good friends and take over my projects. Now it appears she has filed a complaint about the way I dress, which is ludicrous. Also, after a recent accusation and outburst, I discovered that my car was damaged - key-ed. The police officer that came to the scene said that this is usually 'personal' - someone who knows my car, where I park and my daily behavior.

Yes, I'm concerned. After reading about bi-polar disease, I feel that this maybe her issue. She's had a rough life and I feel sorry for her. I think that she could enjoy her work if only she would be calm, peaceful and secure in herself. But the personal attacks are not fair.

For now, my director knows and has promised me that he cannot prevent jealousy, but he can protect me. Also, my boyfriend has installed cameras in the car. If she attempts anything, we may get it on tape.

Mostly I am sad. I can see that she's trying to cope. She goes to meditation religiously every week and she surrounds herself with what she calls 'good aura' - spraying some spray over her head every day. She should probably just take medication but she's against doctors.

I can tell she's suffering but neither can I become a victim of her destructiveness.

-- troubled

Stop labeling every behavior as Bipolar Disorder
by: Anonymous

Many of you are labelling all these negative behaviours as bipolar. Have you even researched this disorder?? Doesn't sound like it.
I am bipolar and although I am on medication that helps a great deal, I still have days where I struggle.
I work in a low paying, stressful job that I really don't like because when I was on disabilty and was diagnosed my old company found a loophole and replaced me. Even my boss said this was wrong but he had no say in the matter. Fifteen years of hard work building a career and I was knocked on my ass.
I finally found a lower paying job after a year of looking which I took because I am a single parent with 2 kids to support.
I am a hard worker and get good reviews except there id usually a mention of me socializing better. All I want is to do my job and be left alone yet I am surrounded by ignorant people (including some managers and HR staff) who expect me to conform. Like I could just turn off my Bipolar.
I have issues with concentration (because of the disorder)so I focus hard to ensure my work is done correctly and often have block out noise and distractions around me.Because of this people think I am cold and sntisocial. I also have a lot more going on in my life which also is stressful and keeps me preoccupied yet people just expect you to "smile" and bullshit your way through the day.
I had one coworker who didn't gave a care in the world and figured I should be interested in every aspect of her life to the point she got on my nerves. I snapped at her so she told me to "up my meds".
I even discussed this with HR and it all came back on me because this coworker was very social and well liked.
No one even tried to understand my side of things and i felt really bad about myself.
Then my mom helped me refocus on what I have accomplished.
I had lost a career, sunk into a dark place, was in danger of being hospitalized and was almost ruined financially. The worst part was that I could have gone deeper and lost my kids. But I didn't. I was lucky.
But even with bipolar I was able to pull myself up and restart. I may not be where I want to be but I've come a long way. I also have a child with an anxiety disorder where he doesn't talk at school and I am always afraid of what he faces with all the stigmas out there about mental illness.
So called "normal" people have no idea what people who are bipolar (or other mental illnesses) struggle with but the stigmas and the labelling of all negative behaviour as bipolar certainly makes it worse.
You have a right to a good work environment but so do people with bipolar disorder. I hope you don't find the roles reversed some day.

by: Anonymous

So you automatically assume these people are bipolar because they are obnoxious, bullies, and/or unstable? Or is it because someone else told you that they these people are bipolar?
As someone who actually is bipolar (diagnosed by a professional not office gossip), I can only shake my head as the stigma associated with this disorder grows with comments and assumptions like these.
I lost a good job because of this type of stigma bullshit. I was still on disability and newly diagnosed and the company replaced me despite protests from my boss. Up to that point they were holding my job. Now I have a crappy low paying job that stresses me out but is necessary so that I can take care of my kids.
Even with medication there are struggles including issues with focus/concentration. I work hard and get good reviews except that I am told that I need to be more social. It takes all my efforts to focus. One coworker I had an issue with had no experience with mental illness on any level. She seemed to think that I was supposed to be interested in everything in her life. It got on my nerves to the point that I snapped at her and she told me to "up my meds". Manager and HR basically said that it was all my problem. She was very social and all about being liked and I'm not. She also said she sometimes felt bullied but couldn't provide a single example of when I supposedly did this. We hardly ever spoke because we didn't have much in common as I have an entirely different set of issues and concerns that she had no concept of.
I try to keep my head down and just focus and do my job and then people say I'm "stuck up" or "cold".
Why do people need to judge what they don't understand?

by: Anonymous

I work in a hospital. And my co-worker yells and screams at all of us. Her behavior has gotten worse over the years. She has bullied a co-worker so bad this person left the dept. Every time we have complained about her. It turns on us. No one wants to deal with her. Her work load is horrible. She wont help and blames others for problems. Last week my co-worker threw a fit and hit me with a box. I reported this problem and my co-worker lied on me and told the boss that I pushed her. If she can't get you one way she will tell lies so you can get in trouble. She also has a "friend" who is sick like her. The two of them cause so many problems in our dept. No one wants to deal with the issue and many times when you complain it is turned on us. We are in a "no win" situation.It is so bad. My co-worker and don't like to go in our office when she is in there.The only way for me to get over this issue is to leave and find another job.

Someone in my employ is bi-polar and obsessed with me
by: Anonymous

I am dealing with a situation where someone who works for ME is struggling with depression, suicidal thoughts, over-medication (self medicating) because I have come to find out he is obsessed with me. This person works for me at the moment but has been a friend for years. I told him to take a break (it's a band.. meaning, he is a drummer and needs to step down and not play with me if I am the trigger.) I have to continue to work as we are booked all over the place. I have been victim to phone-calls night and day, messages about how he is going to kill himself, messages about how he is going to be committed and has taken too many pills, etc. I warned him and told him not to call me with these things. I told him to seek help immediately. I now have anxiety over this situation because his family is BLAMING me! they are saying that I am kicking a man who is already down! I have been through this before and I am a victim of a violent crime (years ago) I do not have the energy for people who pull this act. They DO need help but it scares me to death. I have my own demons. I filed a report with the local police. If he calls or contacts me at all, I have to warn him once again via text and then if he continues, I have to call the cops and it will be in their hands. It is terrible but I can't be around this person at all now. I don't know what else to do.

I am the bad guy
by: M

I have been having a rough time lately. At work we have been having problems with someone coming in smearing feces all over the men's toilet or leaving feces in the hallways. Staff always comes to get me. This has been happening for awhile. Then additionally another department uses our restrooms. Last week this happened again. I went to our chief and we talked about it. We pulled security data and instead of singling out the person we thought was the culprit, we decided to send an email to everyone not in our department. This was like setting off TNT. These people were very angry and went to my other supervisor. She says I am aggressive and my actions were way over the top because I alienated and upset an entire department. I had a disagreement with her assistant two weeks prior

cont.I am the bad guy
by: M

the other supervisor linked the two incidents together. Now I am in danger of getting written up or having some action taken against me. My only saving grace is I did go to my direct supervisor who is the chief to consult. My crime is I was very passionate and patriotic on behalf of my staff who have been subjected to these inhumane conditions over and over. I did not want to insult anyone yet that is what my course of action did. These situations are extremely political and difficult to navigate. Can anyone offer advice?

Culpability and invisibility
by: Anonymous

On her first outburst, YOU should've taken her alone, in a private place and asked: "There must be a reason why you feel that way. Would you like to tell me what it is?"
Not noticing her made her feel invisible, like a ghost no one sees or get chills when around.
Hard to say if her cry for attention was legitimate, but denying its occurence wasn't the way out of it, apparently.

And yes, it's the same with children. Denying their need to express themselves and communicate whatever might be unjustified to our adult perspective tends to just make a crisis very much worse.
So you might think her feeling of not being involvend, implicated and valued to be childish, but it reveals that she wished she was steady and competent at all time, not making mistakes, so that NO ONE notices her "hideous illness".

On the second outburst, SHE was the one who made the mistake. It was HER fault. People with memory issues tend to make mistake like no setting the alarm. Many many many many many times in their life, they've had parents, brother, sister, teacher, chairman, coaches, boyfriends, friends being mad at them for them being late. (She even said it, the internalise speech she always got on "how rude it is to be late").
She lost it. She didn't know how to prioritize packing up or showering, anymore. She was in a state of EMERGENCY. Panic attack?
Imagine how painful it is to be like that for one second. Imagine a whole life...

If you want her to feel secure: SAY THE TRUTH, in a respectful way, ALL THE TIMES. Stop fooling yourself by thinking she doesn't what you think. And, don't play virgin: would she really take the risk of telling you her diagnosis without the confidence of feeling you're NOT going to treat her like a WEIRDO, like you just did?
Bipolar persons are NOT VIOLENT. The more you push them away and do like "nothing is going wrong" in their face, when in fact you have a lot of feelings you need to share to come clear with them, as HUMAN BEINGS, the more you FEED insecurity.
And the more they don't behave.
Don't try and fool yourself: you have as much problem treating her humanly as she does seem to feel alone. Enough with charity, woman up and say what you gotta say honestly. Let her explain her behavior. Let her JUSTIFY herself. Let her tell you about her life.
Then go back home to your own and decide if it's worth 5 more minutes an hour in your schedule spent at being nice. And buying peace.
Sorry, she's not a wild animal and you are NOT endengered, sweetie.
It is worth it.

Bi-Polar or Mommy Dearest
by: Anonymous

Had a chance to read quite a few stories and can empathize with both sides. The first question that comes to mind is, how do you know it is bi-polar? Had your co-worker been officially diagnosed?

Growing up with a Psychiatrist father, I've had the opportunity to experience a variety of mental health challenges. None of them are easy for the giver or receiver of what is often bizarre behavior.

I wonder if it's not just plain old 2 year old tantrums and bullying taking place. I thought as adults we were supposed t grow out of hideous and cruel behavior. However I hear about more and more interviews where the primary question is "how do you deal with office conflict?" Is the workplace becoming an arena for smack downs?

I work with someone who is 75 and for lack of better terms "a good old country gal." I hate to put it that way, but clearly there is a huge generational gap. The 1st week I worked in the office as her co-worker, she took me outside and point blank told me " stop trying so hard, you are making me look bad, I feel threatened by you."

Needless to say, I didn't see it coming and felt like I had been kicked in the stomach. After that, every time I was given a project, she would run to our supervisor and complain. She kisses the right bums, so those in charge only see the doting complimentary side. She positively gushes with superiors which you would think would be obvious, but NOONE admits to recognizing it or that this is a problem and NOTHING gets done about it.

She has serious manic moments. Perhaps not bi-polar, but like a small child needing constant attention, despite my best professional requests for uninterrupted time, she REPEATS my name every few minutes, wanting my undivided attention for something completely trivial. One time When I finally spoke up and asked to calm down, she blew...yelling loudly for the whole office to hear "quit trying to psychoanalyze me, I like having high blood pressure, maybe having a stroke makes me feel alive!!!"

When I've tried to have healthy dialog with her, she shuts completely down and won't respond. She never remembers anyrhing she has said.

The real poke with a sharp stick is when she does get in trouble, she is very dramatic and everyone feels sorry for her.

So...my end conclusion is that the environment is so toxic, I will be looking for another job. Whether it's a mental health issue or just plain bullying, it shouldn't make your life a living hell. If your superiors will not respond, get out as soon as you can.

Oh, by the way it is a counseling office in a college!

Difficult, to say the least
by: Anonymous

The problem I have are the ones that gain your confidence, then find out "the dirt" or personal information, and tell everyone, make fun of you, etc.

Not sure WHAT disorder this is, but it may stem from jealousy and a terribly boring life. They have to CREATE the drama.

The sad thing is, everyone at work knows it and tolerates it, and often have been the brunt of it.

I have chosen to simply remain silent. There is a lot of fishing for information, but I choose to walk away. Or answer probing questions with a rhetorical question.

Yes, I have been the brunt of the workplace bully.

Stress from same issue
by: Zion

I myself work with someone like this. Sadly, she won't seek help and she is out of control. She's having an affair with the boss who himself has not accept that she needs help and all he does is cover her each time she trips. Its stressful so I understand your pain.

by: Anonymous

I also have a bipolar coworker who terrorizes everyone in the office and management does nothing out of fear of a lawsuit. It is nobody else's responsibility to manage your mental illness except your own. If you can't than you should be out on disability. Period.

I also have a friend who is a raging alcoholic (also a disease) but people don't make excuses for his behavior and he ends up facing the consequences of his actions.

Enough is enough. Whether you can control it or not, a bipolar diagnosis should not give you free reign to abuse, harass and terrorize others.

I feel your pain
by: Anonymous

I understand what you are going through. I worked with an alcoholic bipolar person recently. She was very controlling, had her own way of doing things at work (different than the managers) and would not let anyone suggest otherwise. She drank a 12 pack of beer a day and goodness only knows what pills she took!

The lady could not get along with anyone and was always fighting with her kids, neighbors, landlord, ex-husbands, and ex-boyfriends. Then she turned her wrath toward the co-workers, compulsively lying and backstabbing.

I got the heck out. Like others have said, it might cost you money but there's no winning when working with someone that nuts. Pray for the person that's bullying you but even if you have to bail out, it's better than taking abuse.

Been there, doing that
by: Anonymous

For all the posters that are saying that it's wrong to diagnose, blah blah blah...as someone who has in the past dealt, and presently deals with severe mental illness in coworkers, it's wrong to come to work ill. Trust me, I am all for giving mental illness proper status (take away the stigma, etc) but if you are not well, stay home. To the bosses: do your job and send sick employees home. If someone came to work bleeding all over the place from an accident, or dripping snot and sneezing on others making it impossible for others to safely work then you would send them home until they felt better. You wouldn't say, oh, don't tell Josey that she's bleeding from her ears, she might not want to seek medical attention...Stop treating the mentally ill like the elephant in the room. Treat them like people who are sick sometimes. Like you would if someone in the workplace is a cancer survivor and feels shitty more often than the average. Don't penalize them for being sick but don't pretend they're not. Everyone deserves to be safe in the workplace. Everyone.

by: Anonymous

I work with someone that I think is evil. I don't think she is crazy. I think she is simply hateful. She has been hateful when nobody is around to people calling on the phone, to the VP, the owner and then behaves like an angel when anyone is around. It is truly creepy.
She has taken things from me sabotaged paperwork intentionally and simply been manipulative and then when I actually called her out on it, she behaved like she was hurt. This reminds me of my older sister who would beat all of us younger kids up but would cry like a baby if anyone said, I hate you. With this person, however, I do not feel like her affectations of being hurt or getting quite after angering someone are real. She enjoys watching someone spin and then backs off and pretends to be an little angel and acts confused if you confront her. It is a true case of evil if you ask me. She is simply a monster. If someone gives her 'attitude' she exacts her own form of justice on them, even if they are the owner or the VP, she truly believes she runs the show and for some reason, nobody is facing her or stopping it. I am leaving a job I love because of her and displacing me and my child because I simply cannot stand watching her twist a knife in the side of this business any longer. It is sickening. I do not think this person is insane. I have seen her glare and grin wickedly when things have happened and she simply enjoys the power of it. This is a person that cannot be rehabilitated or fixed. She is simply hateful.

Issues with bipolar coworkers
by: bipolar study

I had two situations where I worked with bipolar people. One was an employee of mine, young and talented but with all sorts of issues. Fighting with everyone all the time, no friends, jealous of everyone and pretty much hated everyone in this world. The second was my boss. An Austrian psycho who lives in LA and this one was as dangerous as it gets. One day he would be a nice guy the next day he would be a complete psycho, true Dr. Jekyll and Hide situation. Control freak who would breath on my neck, incompetent manager who would bully his people and create a toxic work environment. The problem is that if you try and be a professional with these kind of people, they will run you to the ground. If it's your boss then start recording the conversations where he or she sounds like a psycho and use the evidence when needed. Get away from these kind of people, they can cause you health problems, even heart attacks.

I'm not tall enough to ride rollercoasters
by: Anonymous

Now first of all I want to stress how much I love this lady.. (I'm pretty sure that's why it hurts me) I'm 35, 2 kids, I have the arm implanon birth control from hell. But I'm generally really happy..which I find can annoy anybody at 6 am.
She is 51, has thyroid issue, full hysterectomy, no kids, told me she was diagnosed bi polar.. she has been on meds but isn't currently.. (I'm kinda against what doctors feeding ppl )(drugs are drugs)
Anyway we have worked together before, this is why I'm so taken back. She's snapped at me few times which totally hurt my feelings. We work face to face 10 hrs in laid back factory setting... I fought back tears til break.. She came down and apologised after break.. I realize I can be an aggravating.. I makes silly sounds, change the words to songs on radio.. I embrace being weird.. I am who I am.
My best friend since grade school is bi polar, she's on disability, she is also a stripper.. dam talented. She is a kitten compared to my coworker now!!!! So I talk to my bestie cuz I wanna understand.. I'm afraid for my co worker.. I've read everything I can and it points to suicide ..
But months have gone by and I've got a journal, I'm trying to go about suggesting her help or more tools to deal her emotions. I'm getting anxiety . I can feel her going up up and up and u can't get far enuf away.
I have no control over situation, except myself. I can't make this worse, but I gotta set back for my own sanity.

She fits carzy makers description
by: Anonymous

Making other people lives miserable is her pleasure. You can google more on crazy makers. I used to have a boss like that. She drove employees and her family crazy and she enjoyed it so much if someone suffered, the more people suffer the better she feels. The way out is to avoid them at all cost and not entertain them. Seems like other colleagues know how to handle her.

You will get your Ass Kicked
by: Anonymous

This advice comes from a different perspective. Im not going to put up with your rudeness, meanness, bipolar or whatever your problem is. That is between you and your doctor. what you are going to get is a nice ass kicking after work. I will be super nice and do it again the next time too. Keep your anger inside like everyone else you mean little piece of sh@t. PS: Who in the hell do you think you are to force me to deal with your anger problem. Makes me want to turn your face into jello with my fist. Yall have a great day and play nice or should we meet after work to discuss it?

this last comment tho!
by: Anonymous

my co-worker has struggles with that and has bipolarity in her family. i have had issues, not with that, but with anxiety and depression, so i can relate to the need to better understand mental health issues in general in our society.

i do think tho that like this person described above, folks need to know when they cross the line. as a parent, i view it as..."well you didnt learn this before, you gonna learn today." bc boundaries are important and good for EVERYONE. so set those boundaries and dont feel guilty about it. hopefully violence doesnt need to be the answer but like Malcolm X said, "Be peaceful, be courteous, obey the law, respect everyone; but if someone puts his hand on you, send him to the cemetery." ;)

bipolar in the workplace
by: Jane

Find out about policy that deals with bullying or harassment in the workplace (it might even include violence in the workplace). Document all the incidents, noting dates & use direct quotes if you can. If she continues, file a complaint with your HR.

Remember you and everyone else that works there has the right to go to work without fear of an explosive co worker.

Bi polar caregiver family is clueless
by: Susana

OMG ! Sounds familiar. I am the nite live in caregiver tho I have a day job, for elderly man whose family is out of state. They hired a day caregiver from an agency and it's become clear that this caregiver is bipolar and has emotional issues: she shouts yells, extreme controlling behavior OCD carries a bag of meds with her. She demands both I and the elderly man confirm to her rules: he may not eat while watching tv, yells at him for dropping things, and worse. She has been here 3 weeks and has taken over this house, decorating & rearranging as if she own the place, insisting that I provide special courtesies. She also has huge food issues. Obsessed with food and binges on the old man's groceries. She is argumentative, loud bossy and a control freak. I will continue putting her in her place and hope she leaves here soon. Wait till the old man's family comes in for a visit and they meet her.

OMG ( update )
by: Susana

So glad I found this site. After I posted 1st comment, this caregiver-from-he## texted me 4X while I was on a job site with clients, asking Y I was in a bad mood, Y I did not say goodbye when I left, and Y I was not responding to her texts, which were nit picky and unrelated to the care needs of the elderly man. When I returned to the house, I firmly confronted her, and I told her not to send me such texts in the future, and that my schedule is not her business anyway. she became irate. It is clear that she has issues: 2 drunk driving arrests, orders of protection, suspended DL, substance abuse, and the agency she works for doesn't check out their employees ???
I have decided to draw a line in the sand with her and to limit our interaction to only that which concerns the elderly man. This caregiver-from-he## has drama galore, is a bully with anger issues, but I will not permit her to mess with me.
Everything is about her, she thinks, but she has met her match in me.

Bipolar or not
by: Anonymous

Bipolar or not her behaviour is inappropriate. I feel for anyone who has emotional problems be it a personality disorder , depression etc as it isn't their fault. But they have to understand the strain living ( your loved one ) or working someone the patience it takes on us takes its toll. Then there is plain just workplace bullying and when the bullier is in a position of power and higher management doesn't help as they bully them too ....time to leave ....I'm in a work situation that I can't mentally take the moods anymore. This person be it bipolar , bullying.....I've had enough of walking on egg shells ....not only is this person have outbursts if I say the wrong thing smoke comes out of this persons ears ! not only is this person a bully or has biopolar ....this person micromanages everything !!! all has to be at their approval ...me me me..
doesn't allow for autonomy .......it has made me mentally stressed ......I can't take it anymore ....in this person good moods and good days is wonderful ! I can't take it anymore ...I know I am a good worker and higher management appreciates me ...they just can't put this person in their place ........my only advice is our mentally health is important, being controlled , micromanaged, yelled at, being blamed, being bossed around in your own department ......taking the outburst ......then ohhhh on the good days being told keep up the good work you've done for years .....no I can't take the mood swings anymore, the sense of their I'm in control do as I say ...
When you have been patient and sorry lost it because you have had enough not far to still be blamed and painted as the bad person .....time to get out and think of your happiness and be in a work environment you feel valued in and aren't micromanaged and have autonomy and are truly respected .

toxicity at work
by: Anonymous

I work with a blisteringly toxic mix of people. A husband-wife business owner ( he's a horrible self absorbed bully; she spends her time bad mouthing him, her children, her sister, our clients, and each of us employees, when she isn't shopping online or fighting with people on Faceook)
My co-workers are neighbors/relatives to each other. When they aren't fighting with each other, they combine forces to make my life miserable. I have literally made myself sick trying to keep my clients happy and out of the fray. We dont get raises, bonuses, health insurance, and our bosses use OUR GIFT CERTIFICATES to take us out to Christmas lunch! I've had it. My body rebelled from the stress and now I HAVE to take time away. In doing so I see how crazy it all is. Life is too short to be made miserable by people profiting from you. Look out for yourself, because no one else in a toxic environment ever will!

Bi polar shouldnt be an excuse
by: Anonymous

I read many of these post and it is so frustrating! I have a co worker who is medically diagnosed with bi polar. I know this because she personally told me, so i am not just calling obnoxious, rude, unprofessional behavior bi polar. I do have a heart and deeply sympathize for those with this illness. However, i dont understand why many of the posts on here from people with bi polar act like we should just dismiss bi polar behavior because you are mentally ill. I know it may sound cold and harsh, but seriously why should everyone in the workplace have to spend so much time and energy walking on eggshells, consoling, and catering to your needs? Im not going to get into all the things ive been through with her but We all have a job to do and it is exhausting. I am constantly having to worry about if im smiling how much im talking to this individual or she fears something is wrong. If i dont give her the chatty personal time and conversation she needs she gets angry is self abusive and breaks things. I have a very fast pace and time consuming position. My work suffers and i end up having to put in more hours after she leaves just to stay afloat (i am salary) after hearing her complain all day about the 8 hours she does. keeping others from being able to feel comfortable and able to get there work done shouldnt be too much to ask in the workplace by anyone. my co worker constantly uses it as an excuse. Bi polar or not if you are disruptive, rude, unable to complete tasks that are part of your job in a calm professional manner then you shouldnt be there. If a so called "normal" functioning person behaved that way they would be fired so why or how can you expect everyone to give you a break or make an exception. Its not personal its business.

follow up to caregiver from he el el
by: Susanna

followup: I informed this elderly man's family of the situation with this nutcase out of control toxic control freak, and all around nasty person.

They fired her immediately and cancelled the contract with the agency. They were aware of much of this via the nanny cam.

This pleased me and the elderly man.

Not typical
by: Anonymous

I'd just like to say that I am also bipolar and I do not act like your coworker. I Think it's her personality not having a mental disease.

Undated Post
by: Anonymous

I don't know when this post was created, but if a bi-polar coworker is getting under your skin it's your fault. "But in this situation, I do not know what to say simply because she makes me angry with her actions and words and I get emotional." Nobody can make anyone angry; instead, the victim has allowed her bi-polar colleague to evoke her anger. First and foremost, it is up to the victim to forgive the bi-polar colleague for everything she has done, and then clearly communicate boundaries. Never, ever drink alcohol with them because their psychotropic medication becomes totally destabilized with it. Rally support with your coworkers and managers if possible. Copy and paste your expressed boundaries to them, and solicit their help and support.

Finally, try to find a way to show the bi-polar individual you're on their side. Their avalanche of harsh inner judgements are crushing to them. Life is very, very difficult for them, and if they survive into old age their suicide rates are very high. I know all of this because I currently work with a bi-polar man. He is very difficult, but has moments of breathtaking softness. I also befriend a bi-polar woman whose maniacal propensities could be softened if we could eradicate the stigma associated with bi-polar disorder.

I deal with this in my small office
by: Anonymous

I work with someone who has been diagnosed. This is how I handle whether it is fair or not it gets me through the day. I accept the high low periods. I find that she clings to me when she is upset with another coworker and when she gets along with the others she doesn't need me. You know why I am ok with that? She is off my back when getting along with others. It's her insecurity that makes her cling to someone at all times.
Do i feel used well yes but the good person in me knows when she is doing good she doesn't need me. It's weird but I know when to avoid her. Just the way it is. I have 9 years left to work and I just want to get through it. For everyone in the office she is exhausting and she is catered to but she doesn't see how foolish it makes her look.

How Do You Know She's "Bipolar"?
by: Anonymous

I have Bipolar Disorder Type One. I was diagnosed by a psychiatrist. I take medication for it and I am regularly seen by my psychiatrist and my therapist in order to manage this disability and to live my life as fully as possible. I highly resent it when uninformed, unqualified individuals make flippant, anecdotal observations when assigning bipolar disorder. I find it to be offensive and diminishing. Your co-worker "could" be Bipolar. Then again, she might not be. Even psychiatrists are bound by a code of ethics which prevents them from diagnosing people from a distance (such as political figures, etc). I would strongly encourage you reflect on your carelessness and insensitivity to the concerns of those suffering from this serious condition and not co-opt their misery in order to add drama, interest, or emphasis to your screed. I am sure that you would still be able to air your grievances without targeting Bipolar Disorder as the culprit. Thank you.

by: Anonymous

Sounds like she needs some help for her illness. That being said, being bipolar does not give her free reign to lash out at everyone else, it sounds like her superiors need to sit down with her and find either some way to make this work so that she is more stable at work, or if she is unwilling to work on this issue and the problems it is causing at work they need to let her go. I am a bipolar myself, and I never use my illness as an excuse to lash out and be nasty to others. I don't mean to sound so cold, but other people shouldn't feel intimidated, bullied, or scared to come to work because of anyone else's actions.

Bi-polar in pain
by: Anonymous

I read all your comments. It is unbelievable the closed minded people in the world. No wonder there is so much tragedies in school, work place and public places. Not everyone is the same and NO ONE IS PERFECT. We all do not have the same mind set as well. There are some of us that are hard workers and workaholics that are bi-polar. Just because we have a brain/mental issue you can think we are crazy. Sometimes we cannot control the behavior that occurs. You all need to turn the table and think how we feel it is NOT fun to live with or deal with every day. Maybe instead of complaining which is the easy way out of dealing with the issue, maybe think outside your box and help the person. OFFER a helping hand maybe by understanding but confronting and resolving when a situation arises. Sometimes going the extra mile many rewards are presented. I am speaking for myself but being a bi-polar I don't have many friends by my choice due to judgement. I don't get close to people due to my disorder. For people do not understand and they DO NOT or DO CARE to understand. Which is wrong with today's world.

bipolar coworker
by: Anonymous

i work with a lady that has told me shes bipolar. shes also blown up on me called me lazy, pathetic ever since i started working with her shes had problems with me my director has told me i am very appreciated. but this person has givin me looks of disaproval when im on lunch breaks this has gone on for a year now shes back from being gone for three months because she had an affair with a coworker and the coworker at valentines gave all the women there roses she told me that he gave all the b-words flowers so now that coworker cant be around her any more. i think its not fair because they were consenting adults why punish him. both persons have bipolar just he is taking meds properly and is doing fine at work. i wish they wouldnt be so one sided

An answer?
by: Chiquita

Isn't there a teddy bear or other recording devices that can be planted? I've seen some that look like water bottles. Sometimes people need to actually SEE themselves and the shame of their actions may cure this also the bosses may have to be called in if not maybe lawsuit enough of the b.s already and loss of time, productive work, and money companys lose over stressed workers not being able to focus.

Professional warehouse employee
by: Anonymous

Keep ignoring this person. Find a new job.

I Get It
by: Anonymous

There are some bipolar people who are constantly chaotic and no one wants to be around them. Not all of us are like that and I do my very best not to be like that. I have B2 and it is depression-dominant. Especially now that I know that I am bipolar, I do my best to keep my nose clean, stay out of other peoples' business, do my job and go home. IN fact, when I was diagnosed, the first thing I thought about was former coworkers, and I said, "Bipolar? I know people who are bipolar and I cannot stand them!" My bosses know that I am bipolar (coworkers do not). I have disability accommodations where I can miss up to 6 days of work per month if need be.

Now, onto your situation: Is there any way you can get your supervisor/boss involved in this. Let her know what is going on and see if she can help. Also, I would document anything that goes on. If this continues, the company may show her the door. If you get your boss involved, that takes a lot of this off of you and they can handle it. They legally cannot fire her for being bipolar, but they can if she cannot do the job properly and from what you described, she cannot.

It is one thing to be bipolar and to lose your cool. once in a blue moon, but this person sounds like an emotional vampire. In time, they may have to let her go.

PS A lot of these people described may not be bipolar, but have personality disorders.

Same situation
by: Anonymous

I am having a very similar situation with a so called co-worker who thinks she's manager. Our new apprentice has been struggling with her crap too. It's of some relief to have another at work (we are a small team of 3 women and one part time woman who only works 2 half days a week), so it's difficult to get away from her and she absolutely thinks she runs the show. She's loud and forceful, it's her way or the highway. I shared with her yesterday how my work mate and I had done a quick 10min leg workout in the back room before work started as we were feeling great and I wanted to share the vibe. She just shot me down and said 'Well ladies I would be thinking more about cleaning the salon and getting the towels done as my workout, not doing a leg workout'. She's a very passive aggressive woman, very unpredictable. She lures you in with cheerfulness only to cut you down with nasty comments. I too, don't know what to do. The boss is a farmer and has no idea. He dismisses this when I have discussed it with her as she brings alot of money through the salon.
Thanks for listening guys x

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