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What Every Target of Workplace Bullying Needs to Know
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Bullied By My Boss Who Was A Friend

I've worked for a company for four years. I got promoted to duty manager a year ago by my friend the manager who put my name forward for six months. The owner praised me all the time saying I was doing a fab job then things changed and I've realised my so-called friend is putting the knife in every chance she gets. I work hard all the time but now I can't seem to do anything right. This has lead to meetings over silly things that make no sense.

I can't relax at home. I dread going to work. It makes me feel sick. I'm sure beyond doubt that she wants me out because she is threatened by me. I'm on edge all the time and feel totally drained. She twists conversations to make me look the bad guy. I'm one of the most easy going people and I get on with every one and I think she is jealous. She has ruined my good relationship with my boss. I can't leave till I find a new job as I need to work for my kids. Just can't wait to leave. Thought about taking it further. Don't know what to do any more. Help

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Boss who was a friend
by: Anonymous

You are doing the right thing by getting out and you also have hit the nail on the head, when you say your 'so-called friend' may feel threatened by you. This is often one of the reasons why bullies actually bully. The don't normally pick on the weak and non-achievers, they target the high performers.

It's said when you have someone who you think is your friend and then who does something like this. Clearly this person is NOT your friend and doesn't come close to having the attributes of a true friend.

You need to keep your head up, tell yourself you are not going to give her the satisfaction of getting to you. Make sure you have witnesses to how good you are, and avoid meeting your 'ex-friend' alone.

Do what you have to do, to survive until you find another job, but remember not to allow her to have control over your emotions, and your life. Imagine shutting the door to your inner self - shutting it in her face. Think of doing that every time you see her. Focus on continuing to do a good job, but shut her out of your inner self. Then move on!

You are doing great!
Twist your words
by: Trinity

In situations like that I would say to my boss "I've found another job but I need a good reference because there is a lot of competition, it sounds like a tough/nightmare job, not as good as this one but closer to home/ hours for the kids etc", the good reference isn't a problem then, because they are so desperate to get rid of me without going down the 'pay you out, litigation bit'. And the 'nightmare' bit goes down well because they want me to keep on suffering after I've left there.

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