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What Every Target of Workplace Bullying Needs to Know

Bully Boss?

by Mary

Our company had a casual worker, who was okay to work with, but after she was offered the manager job she changed personality. She did not ask me how I did my job, what procedures I followed, how I did my filing, nothing.

I have been employed as finance for total of 12 years with good audit reports, and good work ethics and am dependable and can work independently which I have done over the years, and rarely took holidays or sick.

This manager, managed to tell lies about me and previous board, that everything was screwed up, messed up.

She got board to give her part of my duties, took signing away from me, dug around in my office when I was out sick, and came to me with her notes that she found wrong in my office, and then she wanted me to sign it and I asked her why and what is she going to use it for and I refused to sign it.

I also defended myself with her fault findings, she also tried to make me sign annual goals sheet that she made up without me. Unrealistic goals and time settings for me to do my work by certain times, and also duties that were taken away were included in it. I didn't sign it, I refused. Told her I had job description already, also other staff members were not given this goal setting and she told me they were spoken to, but she lied about this, they never heard of this goal sheet.

She got mad that I didn't sign and pouted and left for the day, she also accused me for dump truck not running, that I wouldn't file with her sister, I had told her I wasn't ready until data entry is done, then I will file.

She told board I wouldn't take direction on this, she gave my filing to her sister who is the lands manager without my consent, read my body language in negative way, blamed me for accounting not set up on time, said I never gave all information when I did. She said I went against direction when I only wrote a memo asking for clarification on new procedures for payables etc, suspended me cause I didn't get her office moved when she was out of town even though I told her reason and that someone else said he will take care of it. Sent all my financial out of town to be done by someone else, even after I started to data enter, lied to board about me and that my filing is all screwed up, messed up.

Took duties away from me, locked up all files that were kept by me for years, information that I asked her to leave alone that the board always asked for they came to me, took all my student files, all payroll files gave to her sister, who took it apart and created one file from 8 years of files, without my consent or knowledge.

Tried to say I argued with them when I only disagreed with them when they called my work down, she found faults in everything that I did.

She doesn't seem to like it that I can do my job and I have vast knowledge of workplace and people come to me or phone me all the time, she even took my chair out of my office and said that I don't need people in my office...

Is this being bullied... is she normal?

Comments for Bully Boss?

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Yes You Are Being Bullied!!!
by: Anonymous

Clearly the manager is undermining you, sabotaging your work and enjoying the stress she is inflicting on you. If you have access to email, that's where you would begin in tackling these nasty incidents. In your email, begin with: "I thank you for all the opportunities that you have set forth my way, your confidence in my abilities increases my self confidence while on post. However, I would need some of the following to be looked into and resolved in order to continue my duties successfully..."

Then begin to list the things being sabotaged. For example: (1) it is pertinent that I too am informed about X or Y, so that I too can keep in line with company policy and ensure that the bottom line is being met... (or something along this line) Get familiar with and load down with company jargon. Email it to your manager, then send a separate email to your personal email address for your own records. Document these incidents - date, time, names present, summary of incident. Next, your self esteem was dealt huge blows time and again - educate yourself in a skill or two to add value to your position or help you get another position. Join business networks and make connections. Covertly look for jobs and get the hell outta there.

Sounds Like Boss From Hell
by: Anonymous

Hope you documented everything, reported the concerns to her boss... nothing done from that, get legal advise... your boss sounds like one control freak who doesn't want anyone to know more then her...

sue or get out...

My Boss is Jealous of Me?
by: Anonymous

When I first started my job, my boss was nice and supportive of me. Then, she slowly started to say things to me about my appearance. I am in sales and I have to dress very professional and have an up beat and outgoing personality. I love fashion and shoes! I always look professional, but yet fashionable at the same time.

I am in my twenties and she is in her fifties so we obviously have two very different styles. Everyone that I work with always makes nice comments about my outfits. They always tell me that I look nice or cute. She makes comments to me about my high heels. She claims that I always get my way because of them. She also says that the men at work only like me because of my looks. I am a married woman and I feel that her comments are inappropriate.

I talk to my husband about her often. He suggested that I talk to our HR person about the issue. Eventually, I broke down and went to him. He assured me that her comments were nothing more than jealousy and she is out of line for making them to me. He had a talk with her about the issue. After their talk, she started to be supportive of my work again and much more friendly towards me. A few weeks went by and the comments started to surface again, along with her bad attitude towards me.

I don't want to sound like a tattle tale so I am just trying to brush it off. I feel like she is determined to run me off. All of the other employees notice her behavior towards me, but don't want to speak up about it. I feel like it would just be easier to find a new job rather than let her make me feel like I am a stupid blonde that only brings her looks to the table. I am not sure what to do. I have started to stand up for myself with her comments, but I feel that she likes that even more! If I ignore them, she still makes them. If I react to them, she still makes them! I feel like it is a lose, lose situation.

My Boss is Jealous of Me
by: Anonymous

I like the movie Erin Brockovich, in fact I can watch in twice in one night. I believe it's because it's fact based and Julie Roberts character dresses seductively and her boss is OK with it.

She doesn't beat around the bush and she dishes it out to the other women in the office.

I don't do that on the job, I conduct myself professionally, do great work, and always without exception get sh*t on. I don't think that's the way to play the game, (e.g. by the book).

Documenting is the way to go. But that's only a legal strategy. The 'real world' strategy is to tell it like it is, like in Erin Brockovich.

You are functioning well within the legal boundaries, your jealous boss isn't. Buy a surveillance device and document everything said. You won't be saying any wrong. You have documentation that you went to HR and that your boss is very aware that she is breaking state and federal laws. You have employee evaluations that are good. You're a team player and well liked. If you are experiencing problems with this boss, chances are someone else doesn't like her. So why does the company keep her around. How much of her attitude is shared by upper management. How did she get where she is? She's also a female who had to take tons of sh*t to survive. Looks like she's a looser - career success at any price is not for me.

What bites is that the employer will inevitably see you as the liability not your boss. So be subtle, say words that are positive, but maintain eye contact with your boss and let your eyes express what a looser she is. She's pitiful and she's not getting any younger. Then again, there's forgiveness. To me forgiveness works when you have something outside of work that builds your sense of self worth. Something that nurtures you and fulfills you. That way you are further removed from her reality because it doesn't resonant in your being. You being is focused on a good place that fills you with self love and admiration.

I Got Fired
by: Anonymous

Since this was posted, and the pain I endured by the bully boss(s) I have been fired while on sick leave. I wanted to sue them all and stop them from doing this to others, as the three of them have history of doing this in the past and them even getting paid money to either resign or retire... it is not fair that there is nothing in human rights for this type or work place bullies as it is worst then any kind of abuse... I had to settle for a their offer to settle out of court...

Sabotaged or what?!!
by: Anonymous

Wow, everything I've read is exactly what I'm experiencing at work. I've been with this office for 12 years and only now the boss's are questioning me about my work performance. I was assigned less duties over the past 3 months and given minimum work hours as full time. This all started when a family friend was hired and now he thinks he has the run of the office. He made everyone turn against me, ran my name through the mud and now got everyone thinking I'm a bad person who can't do anything right. They also feel I'm argumentative and that's totally not true. However I will stand my ground when someone comes and attacks me for no reason. They're trying everything they can to make me miserable so I can quit my job. I'm currently attending evening classes to transition myself into a new position, so it may not be long before I'm gone. I'll be the happiest person when all this is over. In the meantime, it's dealing with the office on a day to day basis and looking forward to a better tomorrow.

looking for advice
by: Anonymous

I don't know what to do anymore and am looking for support, advice, something. I have a boss that I consider a bully. There seems to be nothing that I can say or do that is correct. I have been pulled into her office and told I have an attitude because I didn't sit in a meeting with the correct look on my face, hold my hands the "right way" and didn't sit with the correct posture. I've been told I carry my heart on my sleeve because I for some reason am hurt by this treatment. If there is any "difference of opinion", I have been told that I myself am just picking on people and I obviously have issues. It turns into a vicious mental circle. I have to humble myself to believe that "the boss is ALWAYS right" and I get down on myself for "always doing things wrong". I go to work most days wondering when I'm going to be scolded or taken to task for something - not IF but WHEN. In fact, one time she, if front of my coworkers, asked me what I always do to foul things up. I know I need a new job and have been looking but nothing has come up yet. I'm just looking for some advice on how to survive this. I know I'm not her favorite employee - and yes she does appear to play favorites. But I don't know how to survive any longer.

Bully Boss
by: Anonymous

I have recently come out of a bad situation. My female boss was terrible. I had worked for this nice company with a lovely male boss, who unfortunately went to live in Auckland, New Zealand.

This new boss was a Director from a failed company, therefore she was coming in to prove herself. Came in as Head of, which was not same grade.

Did I know this, she was very loud mouthed and swore out loud f-ing this and that. Liked to embarass people for no reason. Constantly belittled my work, ran me down with other personal and said how bad I was at this and that. I am just regaining my confidence and trying to pick up my like after she added me just before xmas to some redundancies she had.
I am afraid that I could not take any more and had to leave. So she won.

For all of you
by: Anonymous

I'm both sorry and furious for all of you who are going through this experience. I'm in the middle of one myself. I've been at this company for 25 years & a year away from retirement. Find out if it's legal in your state, to record your boss's dialog. I can't, because it's illegal in my state. See about finding a lawyer who will take your case on contingency - only if he/she is certain the case can be won. I have done this, and it feels great to know that if they do fire me, he's waiting with the information I've documented, and is ready to file. It's also empowering to know you have this secret, and you're not taking this lying down. Every case is different (except for the excruciating pain they bring,)but at least talk to a lawyer, Legal Aide Soc, search on-line for legal advice. Best of Luck!

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