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What Every Target of Workplace Bullying Needs to Know

Bullying Has Turned Me Into A Walking Time Bomb

by J
(Canberra, Australia)

I just moved to a country and from day one into this country it's been a living hell for me. I married and got abused by my husband day and night and to top it off my husband bossed sexual assaulted me. I did get a lawyer and sue him but still had certain issues in my head to start my life over again.

I divorced my husband and freed myself from the abuse and assaults. I was ready to start my life over. I got a public service job and was ready to start my new life at my job. I was so excited about working and making a new start with me and my two sons I brought over to this new country.

Well at my first day at work I was put in a corner in a chair and not spoken to, as I was suppose to be trained fully in this new job but my new co-workers did not want a new person there so they harassed me to the point of a mental break down to the point where I just wanted to die and broke.

I was referred to get your black ass over here, I was told that I did not belong there, I was called stupid, I was laughed at constant and belittled, I was abused everyday until one day I just could not take it any more and had a mental break down.

I did go to mangers to complained about what was happening but I was ignored about the issue and sent home every time and the issues did not stop. After awhile I needed help fighting for my rights which did not help support me in anyway as I was told by one of the mangers I would not win and no one ever wins and it would be a waste of time, well I guess he was right.

I did have a meeting with people who were suppose to help me including the mangers who did not protect me and admitted to the situation and everyone agreeing to harassment and discrimination and abuse they all admitted to everything they did to me but at the time of this meeting I was so distressed and confused and broken down trying to keep my head up and deal with what had happened to me and ended up signing a form I should have never signed in the state of mind I was in at the time.

I also had a witness that agreed to come to this meeting with me for support as I needed all the help I could get as I did not know which way I was going after being mentally broken down to this point.

This has happen 3 years ago and I still continue to break down mentally, I try suicide on the regular basis and I cry everyday and can not find a job after all this as I am not mentally stable to do so after all this. I am forced to look for work at the same time trying to cope with the thoughts in my head, low self esteem, all my dreams out the window as I can't get anyone to hire me as I feel I have been black marketed every since I have spoken up.

I have become very abusive and can not function in the real world as I have become very depressed and have developed anxiety and nervous break downs over from all this harassment and have never received closure from all this. This has effected my life to the point where I do not want to live as everyday I cry if spoken to and have mental break downs over and over.

I have became so isolated since I lost my dream job and no where to turn to with no help. I feel that I was taken advantage of not knowing my rights and feeling pressure to sign a contact which I was not in the stable mind to sign in the first place.

It makes me angry that these 5 people who harassed me everyday and cause mental harm to me and broke all rules of the Humans rights still have their jobs and I have nothing everyday but distress, debt and forced to look for a job not in the right state of mind which I have been doing for the last 3 years.

I was never told I could get help what these people did to me all I got was, I am sorry and 4000.00 dollars for so called back wages which was wrong and added things in this contract that was not agreed on so I could not fight for my rights if needed to.

I found a job after 3 years and lasted 2 months totally as I broke down and could not function enough to hold this job. I have been to doctors to try and get help and have been unsuccessful and today I still suffer to the point of no return. I have developed so many issues due to this bullying at work that I fight everyday to survive and hope that everything I have experienced will go away but it's always in my head everyday and night.

I do not sleep, I talk to myself over and over to the point one of my children asked me who I was talking to, I cry all the time. I do not focus and I forget things all the time what has happened to me. How does this country expect for someone to go through Trauma From Domestic Violence, Sexual Assault and Bullying in the work place and think they are ok and can't understand why I keep having mental break downs trying to cope with all 3 things since I have been here? Is there no Help here?

The list goes on but plain and simple these people have ruin my life and I do not think I will ever get it back. I am in tears now as I write this story which will probably never be addressed or acted up on fairly. Bullying destroys lives it destroyed my to the point of no return and the story goes on with no help or support as there are so many things still happening in my life but I can't talk about it as it affects me very bad. Please stop bullying out there.

Comments for Bullying Has Turned Me Into A Walking Time Bomb

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Support from one who has gone through it too
by: Anonymous

Dear J,

My heart breaks reading of another who has been forced to endure the unacceptable for far too long and has been injured from it. I do hope you have been able to research a little on PTSD and your bullying experience. If it helps, I too, went through an extreme mobbing at work. I had been through some bullying and domestic abuse in my past (the people-pleaser/far too nice for too long type), but nothing compared to the trauma of a group of people trying daily to run me out of my job, my reputation, and my future; all of it twisted to be completely my fault, and I deserved it. I am telling you this only to describe the symptom similarity and time it took to recover to functional again. Of course everyone is individual, but it may help... I was criticised, made fun of, reported, and isolated daily for 1.5 years until my system broke down. The stress hormones had raged through my body for far too long. After the escalating abuse went covert when a new manager was brought in, I found myself in the ravages of PTSD about 3 months after the overt attacks stopped. Other than 2 co-workers who spoke up slightly, no one supported me, and many joined the fray. The rage/anger/crying/insomnia/recall lasted 5 years, including 2 years after I was terrorized into quitting. Speaking about it only got silence, anger, and rejection from others, so I know your pain. Just know that from what I have learned it is an injury (cortisol damage to areas of the mid-brain) that simply takes time for the brain to process and recover from... and it does happen, especially if you are removed from the trauma. Suicidal feelings are a part of trauma, as is withdrawal. I found that volunteering around happy/grateful people helped tremendously, and have read that a family dog is helpful in recovery. I had to take one year off work unpaid to recover enough mentally, and then put myself through new training into a career choice I enjoy greatly...now that I am finally working full time, enjoying better pay and work environments, I am truly on the mend. I still angrily remember what a group of sick people put me through, but the trauma part is no longer feeling like it was. There was a time I thought I'd never recover... but it can and does happen. Like all injuries, one can heal, but PTSD takes time and support. My heart is with you.

Thanks for your support
by: Anonymous

Thank you for your support as heaps as our self do not know where to turn as people turn their nose up to this until it happens to them. Thanks again for understanding how this effected my life including others that have gone through the same thing and going through it now. We all have to stick together and just maybe One day the people will take this more serious and stop doing this to other people.

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