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What Every Target of Workplace Bullying Needs to Know

Disabled Pensioner Bullied By Neighbour

by Suzy
(Rendlesham, England)

I am a disabled pensioner and am seriously bullied by my neighbour who is a TEACHER. He has done everything to me from planting lavender bushes against my driveway, taking over at least two feet of my drive width, to driving a "T" Reg car he had into the back of my new motorbility car.

I have stood up for myself with no avail but he says if I want to go out I should knock on his door and ask him (he constantly tries to force this by blocking my drive with his car).

I am at the point of just wanting to commit suicide to avoid the stress I am having to go through. I can't even get out to go to church most of the time. I can't find anyone to help me. What on earth can I do?

Comments for Disabled Pensioner Bullied By Neighbour

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In 70s with Bullying neighbour using my land
by: Anonymous

Similar to the other person I have a very intimidating neighbour with anger issues that I have encountered previously, so have tried to keep out of their way. I am in my 70s and have several medical conditions, that mean I have not left the house since the first lockdown. The neighbours are a lot younger. They did tell me before this that they were thinking of replacing a small lean-to with a brick built one and that it wouldn't make any difference to me or cause any nuisance and I believed them. During the time I have been confined to the house they have instead been building an extension at least 4 times bigger that now towers over my garden. I know I cannot do anything about it as it is on their land but during the building of it, that has gone on for months, they have gradually encroached on my land at the front that is mainly trees and bushes. I couldn't see what was going on at first and then when I did I thought rather than get into a row with them I would try being a good neighbour and keep the peace until they were finished. They have now destroyed some of the bushes and are storing their building materials on it. They have also taken another piece of land that I wasn't aware of as I have not been able to go out and so hadn't seen it, but my other elderly neighbours have now told me what is going on. I am advised to avoid any stress or arguments because of my medical conditions and so feel absolutely trapped and cornered. At no time have they picked up the phone to apologise for the noise or the mess, so feel that what they are doing is very deliberate. I don't sleep at night and dread every day to see what damage they have done to my garden and how much more of my land they are taking. They have plenty of money but I cannot afford to get involved with any legal action. I hate the injustice of it all and so sympathise very much with whoever is going through this. I used to feel that you should never let bullies win but l feel totally intimidated and this has really affected my physical and mental health.

Advice
by: Anonymous

You can take a photo and keep a diary and any proof you could take a civil action. Write a letter of warning. You could put something to stop him parking on your property and plant etc. He has to adhere to a code of conduct so a stern letter
He would not want to lose his job.

Tow truck
by: Anonymous

Hi, I'm pretty sure you would be within your rights to call a tow truck the next time the NFH parks across your driveway.

Just be aware that thwarting this avenue for him may lead to an escalation on his part - he may just try to find a new way to annoy.

One thing that works for me is not speaking to or interacting in any way, that is giving zero response, to any activity of my NFH. Another neighbour who is a police officer suggested this approach to me and it works. So, for example, when he sprays weed poison on my fruit and vegetable garden I just ignore it and let him deal with looking at the decomposing vegetative matter (which angers him because he doesn't like the look of it).

Obviously it's too late to play dumb/zero response over the carparking issue but you could try this with whatever follows.

The one thing I've realised is that this is a kind of game for the NFH type and as long as you respond in ANY way they get a payoff. Not responding may seem hard but it might be your best chance to force NFH to pick another victim.

Reply to disabled pensioner bullying
by: Suzy

Thank you for advice which has been most helpful. I have been to see a counselor whos name is Suzanne HOPE (the name made me feel better before I even went). The police say there is nothing they can do because bullying is not a crime however I did find out that harassment IS a crime so anyone else in my situation should go for that. Not as bad now as Police gave him a harassment warning.

Hate crime
by: Anonymous

This sounds like hate crime because you are disabled and vulnerable. Talk to the police on their non emergency number or go into your local police station. You could also try talking to your MP, most of them run a surgery. Get some support.

Make sure you write down every incident noting times and dates and what happened. Even when it feels hopeless keep doing this. Your local council should have a safe guarding officer who deals especially with bullying and crimes against vulnerable people.

Find yourself some emotional support. Talk to Samaritans or a counsellor. They may not be able to stop the bullying but they can help you feel emotionally strong enough to fight it.

Researching Support Groups Using Google Search.
by: Anonymous

I would recommend that you search for support groups in your designated area such as counseling, depression support groups for victims of bullying, and additional on line groups. This would make you feel much better by talking to someone who is empathetic and listens to your own personal situations. I hope that my advice was helpful to you. I would like to wish you well.

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