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What Every Target of Workplace Bullying Needs to Know

Family Member Turns To Bully In Workplace

by Crystal
(Virginia )

I got a job working with an old family member (meaning we were once family members but no longer due to divorce). I'll call her Tonya. I thought we had a decent relationship and even thought we were friends. We worked together and spent breaks together.

During these times, Tonya would make fun of others in the office and due to her strong personality, I never spoke up against what she was saying about these people. I had become closer to one of these people (let's call her Amy) and even confided in them about issues with my ex (Tonya's family member).

Turns out, Tonya decided to become best friends with Amy (one of the people she made the most fun of). All of a sudden, I was out of the loop and couldn't even get workplace help any longer. One day in a meeting, I finally disagreed with Tonya. Let me just say that was a bad idea.

I felt proud of myself, though even though I knew it meant I would be even lonelier in the workplace. I stupidly spoke with my ex (thinking we were friends) and confided in him about what I had done. I told him that I had felt others in the office were proud of me for standing up for myself, especially my boss. I told him that she was a bully and it was hard to disagree with her.

Long story short, the next day, I get a nasty message from Tonya telling me that she was going to talk to our supervisor the next work day and was basically going to ruin me at work. She went on to make me aware that anyone that I had confided in in the office had gone to her and told her my secrets. It was horrific.

I don't know what to do and really don't want to go back into work to be treated like this. I feel like I'm back in middle school again and have little girls starting stuff for no reason. I think about quitting but then she wins. I don't understand people like her, especially when she messaged and told me she "doesn't like drama".

Comments for Family Member Turns To Bully In Workplace

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TRIANGULATION
by: Sue F

Sounds like you have been the victim of a behaviour called triangulation.

If you want to stay in this job you will need to set strong boundaries with these people, keep as low contact with them as possible, and don't gossip to anybody.

This so called friend has used triangulation and also divide and conquer to get people on her side.

You can stay and keep away from them or leave and always remember that gossip is a form of bullying in itself.

Leave, don't look back
by: Anonymous

I've been the victim of workplace bullying, four years ago.

These people don't change and nothing gets better. For your own peace of mind - quit. Maybe look for another job, then quit.

Don't look at it like somebody else wins. You win if you leave.

This workplace is toxic, not something you want to be a part of.

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