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What Every Target of Workplace Bullying Needs to Know

I Survived!

Knowing I am not alone, reading other's stories, got me through. I survived a very passive-aggressive supervisor for 13 years. She had a velvety voice, and a "Pollyanna" presentation which hid her overwhelming desire for control. And she wielded "nice" like a weapon, telling people what she thought they wanted to hear all the while, scheming and manipulating everyone around her. She would brag about how she always got what she wanted, one way or another. And from the start, she made it clear that what she didn't want, was a capable, mature, knowledgable person under her who might pass her by. No one could know more than her. For the people willing to kow-tow to her ego, she turned a blind eye. Time sheets were openly fudged, sick time totally abused, and one lucky staff had so little work, or attention paid, he completed all his graduate schoolwork while at work, allowing him time to also run a side business. Questioning these practices was a huge no-no, covered up by the Director - good guy, but totally disconnected- and she wrapped him around her finger. She even spent almost 5 years denying she was the supervisor- unit had no direction except for the ones she enjoyed pursuing.

Then a new Director came, here was the true psychopath. Aggressive, and completely ambitious - in love with power and prestige- and all her actions were to promote her own glory. She gained a perfect Toady in the supervisor. There was no place for a capable person who preferred processes, policies and fairness. I was completely tag teamed by the two of them on the auspice that my duties required them to jointly supervise me. I developed hypertension and required medication for that and anxiety just to get through the day. I cried all the way to work and all the way home, day after day. My work suffered and my family was distressed and tired of my inability to function.

I did have two saving factors: an employment contract and good notes. They were so intent on "constructively discharging" me they put me on a fast track. I filed a grievance with HR and the Dean for bullying. All of my witnesses were so terrified for themselves, they self-protected. But my notes were good, and breaking my contract was clearly a lawsuit in the making. If I had resigned, I would have gotten nothing. By hanging in, as hard as it was, I have a decent severance pkg, an official status as a "Retiree" and my blood pressure is down 10 points, and I am coming off the anxiety meds. I have a part time job which looks like it may soon go to full time. I still have moments where it all comes back but I survived, lived to tell about it and am moving on. Life is good.

Comments for I Survived!

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congratulations survivor
by: LIZzy NJ

As terrible as all that was…I bet as you officially retired the supervisor from H*** said 'DAHLING…we will miss you so much"

They KNOW NOT what they do…really; she would stare at you with a what? I never LOOK. Their hearts are 'COLD' and they are just that self absorbed in themselves…NO ONE else matters.

Glad you got out with severance and a new job.

The only way this business nonsense is going to stop is when ENOUGH stop self protecting for a job and EN MASSE walk into HR to lodge a complaint and MASS quit. (I KNOW that is hard when there's families to feed…but what the heck…to quit a job and then say to next interview…"yes; I quit because my potential was going untapped" / THAT'S confidence that employers notice.

Sounds like your were in a SMALL firm…or mid size; because
large corporate would NEVER put up with that.

by: Anonymous

Dear friend, is always the same story, as crazy as it is bullies get away with it time and time again, I have been fighting bullies all my life and nobody wants to come forward and be a witness, most people are cowards, and only think of themselves, glad you are at the other side of it now, wish you well, and good luck

I survived also
by: Anonymous

I survived also but there are still times I feel like my job is in jeopardy or I am not doing well enough. I have a wonderful new boss but I still have flashbacks.
Hope time will heal


Truly Blessed I Survived
by: Trudy

I was promoted to a job that a man I worked with thought he should have gotten so because he knew several people in the area I was to work, he spreaded so many untruths about me til by the time I got there everyone, including my new Supervisor, did not like me. She later told me he had come over there three times before I reported. The people were very hostile to me and I didn't know why. They would not help me and when they did, the information was incorrect, which sabotaged my work and made me look incompetent. The top manager of the organization threatened me that I should not expect to get any good write ups on my work from him or my Supervisor. I realized that I actually had no one to turn too that I was alone in this. The people I thought were honest turned on me and everything I had said to them was told to others. Management planned to get me out by any means possible. I realized that I was targeted because I had a Master's Degree while my Supervisor only had a BS and many of the people I worked with had nothing. Because I had a degree in the Sciences, they set out to prove I was still too dumb and incompetent to do my work. Years went by and my supervisor lost her comrades because they turned on her and soon retired. It still left the others that hated me, and they pushed the new management to kick me out to another area to kill any self-esteem I had left, but God spoke to me to do the best job I could do in the new job. I encountered some of the same mentality because the rumors followed me, but I had a few people that would help me a little and I would take those crumbs and research it until I understood how to do itit like everyone else sometimes better. Now more than six years has pasted, I am still ostersized, left out of conversations, made to be the office idiot any time I say anything most of the time, thrown under the bus in front of management belittleing my work, watched by six to seven people while they do whatever they want, and asked to be other employers backup when they are off from work even though I don't get any credit for it. But through it all, I encourage people going through anything like this to not let anyone make you leave the only way to support your family. I was a single parent raising three children by myself but this did not matter to anyone I worked with. Talk with friends and family people who do leave you and learn as much as you can. My health and family suffered alone with me, but we made it through. Take care of yourself and family first and all the other follows. It is not easy but can be done.

I'm still standing is my anthem
by: Anonymous

Two years later, I am still standing, better than I ever did. I still have flashbacks and intruding thoughts, but no meds, a good job with a trustworthy boss and a positive working culture. For the first time in years, I am feeling whole and happy. Some day, I hope to be able to forgive- then I will be truly healed. This forum was so helpful in "normalizing" my experience and allowing me to not believe all they said about me-all twisted lies set up by a dillusional passive-aggressive bully. I now understand why I was targeted; not because I am a failure, but because I am the decent, capable, intelligible hard worker that I am. If she wasn't so evil, I almost could feel sorry for her. Good Luck, everyone- it does get better.

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