If you make a purchase via a link on this site, I may receive a small commission, and as an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. See the Disclosure page
for more information. Thank you!
Knowing I am not alone, reading other's stories, got me through. I survived a very passive-aggressive supervisor for 13 years. She had a velvety voice, and a "Pollyanna" presentation which hid her overwhelming desire for control. And she wielded "nice" like a weapon, telling people what she thought they wanted to hear all the while, scheming and manipulating everyone around her. She would brag about how she always got what she wanted, one way or another. And from the start, she made it clear that what she didn't want, was a capable, mature, knowledgable person under her who might pass her by. No one could know more than her. For the people willing to kow-tow to her ego, she turned a blind eye. Time sheets were openly fudged, sick time totally abused, and one lucky staff had so little work, or attention paid, he completed all his graduate schoolwork while at work, allowing him time to also run a side business. Questioning these practices was a huge no-no, covered up by the Director - good guy, but totally disconnected- and she wrapped him around her finger. She even spent almost 5 years denying she was the supervisor- unit had no direction except for the ones she enjoyed pursuing.
Then a new Director came, here was the true psychopath. Aggressive, and completely ambitious - in love with power and prestige- and all her actions were to promote her own glory. She gained a perfect Toady in the supervisor. There was no place for a capable person who preferred processes, policies and fairness. I was completely tag teamed by the two of them on the auspice that my duties required them to jointly supervise me. I developed hypertension and required medication for that and anxiety just to get through the day. I cried all the way to work and all the way home, day after day. My work suffered and my family was distressed and tired of my inability to function.
I did have two saving factors: an employment contract and good notes. They were so intent on "constructively discharging" me they put me on a fast track. I filed a grievance with HR and the Dean for bullying. All of my witnesses were so terrified for themselves, they self-protected. But my notes were good, and breaking my contract was clearly a lawsuit in the making. If I had resigned, I would have gotten nothing. By hanging in, as hard as it was, I have a decent severance pkg, an official status as a "Retiree" and my blood pressure is down 10 points, and I am coming off the anxiety meds. I have a part time job which looks like it may soon go to full time. I still have moments where it all comes back but I survived, lived to tell about it and am moving on. Life is good.