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I'm Now An Adult Who Was!
I'm 45 years old now, but was mercilessly bullied when I was ages 9-12, when my parent moved me into a different school. I tried to hang myself when I was 11, but it failed because I wasn't good at tying knots. I have post-traumatic stress disorder, depression, anxiety attacks, sleepwalking and think about suicide everyday, despite medications I take. My life has spiraled out of control, and all because of those four years.
I was beaten on, stomped on in the snow, pelted with snowballs, had my boots ripped off and thrown over the fence into the wet street. I was urinated on and given "swirlees", if you know what those are, in excrement filled toilets. I was pelted with rubberbands and paperclips launched with rubberbands, stabbed with the sharp point of a geometric compass and received concussions from getting pushed down the stairs. I was ostracized by everyone, no one wanted to be associated with me for fear of receiving the same treatment.
I was threatened that if I ever told, I'd get it worse. I didn't know what that could be, but didn't want to find out, either. But things did get worse. If my parents did know anything, they never let on, nor did anything about it. This has all led to a life of failure. I don't believe I'm worthy of success, and don't even know what success is. I came within a half hour of shooting myself about two years ago. Now, I don't know from one day to the next if I will be alive tomorrow. I can't live with this torment much longer. I may have had my will broken more than 30 years ago, but am actually sad that I've lived this long. I hate to think this happens to any child anymore, in this day and age. If anything comes from my story, it is that I hope parents or anyone will get a child help before they either end up ending their lives or living the hell on earth life that I have suffered.