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What Every Target of Workplace Bullying Needs to Know
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It Has To Get Better Right?

by booguhs mom
(Califorina)

My happy, funny, lil fire cracker of a son lost his spark one day, never did I think he was being bullied. When he started to get angry whenever I'd mention school or ask how his day went, I knew something was wrong. I'd ask if kids would mess with him and he would say, "no mom" and walk away. Of course, I thought 7 year olds don't bully—they're so young and innocent. So as a mom I had to find out since he wouldn't tell me.

Luckily I work right next to the school, so I decided to walk over at recess and look threw the fence. That is when I saw my son sitting on the floor next to the woman who watches the kids, while all the other kids were playing. Then the next day I went back and again he was there with her. I finally confronted him and asked why he didn't play and he said the kids are mean to him. Right then I called the school and made an appointment with the principal.

I first explained the issue and asked her, how come the school doesn't call and notify the parents if a child seems bothered or acting different, especially when he is known to be the happy kid who would be top seller every year for all school fundraisers. And long story short the school did nothing. They asked my husband to go get my kid evaluated. He was apparently the problem not the other kids.

My son would pee his pants, which he has never done, in fear of the principal. She told us he needs to pretty much grow a back bone and defend himself. So after that I was fed up, and the day we had our last meeting at that school she just pretty much said they will send him to another school too see if that helps. Instead of doing something about it send the kid away and do nothing about the bullies. So with that being done my kid finally confessed and told me everything that happened.

These kids would call him names, they would act like they were going to punch him then run away. They told him he couldn't play on the playground, and the worst was they said they were going to kill him. Now I understand why he was so scared to go to school, why he would fight us to get out of the car, why he refused to get dressed etc. Everything now made sense.

I first felt extreme anger, but I had to put that aside and help my son... Well, he is now 9 years old has been in therapy ever since and has been diagnosed with PTSD. He still is petrified of school and was home schooled last year. We tried getting him back to public this week and he freaked out. I have hope he will one day be that happy kid again.

I do still get angry and frustrated that I have to always find sitters and miss work because he is not in school all day, but I know it's not his fault, he didn't ask for this to happen.

I just wish something would have been done to those kids. They are living their lives happy as can be, not a care in the world, while my son is suffering... its not easy to talk about this. A lot of people in my family don't even know what has been going on... so coming on here and writing about it feels good.

Going through it I honestly felt like no one could possibly know how I feel I have to be the only one going threw this. I now know I'm not, and I'm trying everyday to be that strong person for my son.

Comments for It Has To Get Better Right?

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Need To Tell the Officials
by: A Bystander

Hello. Sorry to hear about your lil guy. From your story I find it hard to understand why the school has completely ignored you. A death threat should always be reported no matter what. These junior bully's grow up someday and without notice show up in our lives again as adult bully's. It does not matter how old the person was when they threaten some ones life; the officials need to know. It could save someones life later on. Maybe your own.

The junior bully will eventually go to high school and continue to hurt other children. Hopefully nothing happens. I say this because I knew of a girl that was bullied by this taller girl while in grammar school.

One of the girls family moved and into another school district, however when it came to high school they met up again. The animosity between them escalated throughout the years and into adult years. Oddly enough the two girls worked in the legal field. The bully girl one day was in a local super market with her husband and the good girl was in the market too.

The bully girl whispered something into the ear of her husband and the husband thinking the good girl was not aware who he was rammed his grocery cart into her and insolently said "Oh so sorry!"
The good girl sustained back injuries and was bruised badly. She was smart enough to call the manager and he called the police at her request.

Now being the sharp girl she was; she filed charges against the Bully and her husband and was able to prove her case and won. Apparently her parents had reported the bully girl to the school and local police many years before. They kept the records should they disappear. The Bully girl lost her job because of the incident and can not hold a position like that again. The husband was left with a hefty fine and paid out medical expenses. They Bully couple eventually lost everything except their bully ways.
You are an amazing mom
by: Rosalea

I applaud you for being a strong and courageous mom. Keep it up. And never never give up reaching for the best for your child. It is a cruel world, but your child will survive because of you.
Brave Lil Soldier - Gets his strength from Mom.
by: PastorJoeP

Unfortunately this was common practice a few years ago. You say he is 9 now and he has yet to feel comfortable.

I would caution you that sometimes therapist also may extend the fear and not helping to cure your son of his fear.

I would hope that the therapist is trying fear reduction exercises that help him adjust to the possibility of going back to school.

With that in mind I hope you can continue to find the strength to approach a school that has an Anti-Bullying Program. Most now have mentorship programs in all school levels.

These programs that have recently been adopted place the senior level students as mentors and they escort and transition the children into the school environment and also introduce them into the fold of children.

These programs are very successful in helping transition children such as yours into a healthy warm environment.

If your child doesn't have any friends I would suggest looking for a school with this type of program.

If he see's that bullying will never occur and that he has a strong support system, you will all be able to sleep at night knowing that he won't be harassed on a daily basis.

If you want to be a pioneer in the school he was bullied in you could start the program yourself.

School Administrators know that bullying is an issue.. not just a concern. It requires their dedication to help with these programs.

Also I would have contacted an attorney even back them. School Administrators think your weak when you back down when your so caring about your child. Also some administrators may not have children and don't understand the bond.

But back to my attorney point. Attorney's have the means to show them the laws especially around a threat to ones life.

Word to the wise I would say document anything that happens to your child in a diary, video, written, digital. Just document it because it will help them in the end and provide you peace of mind.

All my best to you and your family...
BULLIED AT SCHOOL
by: LIZZY NJ

Sorry to read of your son's difficulties.

However, home school isn't the answer nor is an adult therapist.
Child Psychologist.

Your son needs to just be who he is and IF he wants to sit on the
sidelines in playground; and watch; LET HIM. Trust the instincts of your son better than what a school principal, adult psychologist wants to put to him. Your son is using common sense. He's in school to learn. Period. We go to jobs to work. Period. In between; there's the people stuff but HEY…if some want to bully; STEP ASIDE and don't get near them. IT'S NOT WRONG…it's good old fashion common sense. (If school kids want to believe they 'won' because your son is out of the picture…great; everyone is happy. Why force the issue of YOU HAVE TO PLAY with those who don't want you (clearly stated in actions)

IF you can afford it (and even if you can't at times schools with a religious center (academic and spirit) work out tuition payments; but such schools have what public schools do not; DISCIPLINE. Being private, they don't have to take everyone; if any act up…out they go. I speak of Cath…Schools. (you know what I mean.

Does your son have siblings? (brothers sisters) What is his birth order? Is he an only child? If he's an only child; perhaps it would be good to enroll him in child KARATE classes. Not to teach how to fight; but how to have ESTEEM. (such classes teach how)or boxing or wrestling (BOY stuff…the art of self defense; NOT to hit anyone but DEFEND one's own self) The object to boxing is to avoid being hit while standing ground with opponent. NOT necessarily to HIT the opponent. Then; with one well placed hit (not in vulnerable body areas) Opponent goes down…to knees. Just jabs that tire--not HARM

Or Little League, Basketball, Tennis even. Rather than run around a playground doing nothing (not training the body) Start with ORGANIZED SPORT…where 'a friend' comes to be. JUST ONE.

School is for learning. PERIOD. Work is for Working. (period) Social starts with 'group' … and guided instruction where all want to learn to do something besides run on playground haphazardly. (if some do, fine)

Cub Scouts to Boy Scouts also good esteem building; and your son's dad…let him join in whatever activity as role model.

Young children do not belong on a psychologist couch. Young children really do not have hang ups. They do what is common sense. (til an educated psychologist says NO NO that's wrong.

The one's screwed up in the head are adults who may never have learned 'the art' of getting along. Yes; I'll say it…educated without spirit understanding of humanity…is futile learning.

HOPE some of this makes sense

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