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What Every Target of Workplace Bullying Needs to Know

It's Important To Realize When Workplace Bullying Is Happening To You

by Sandy

I was overseas when this happened to me. I had not realized I was being bullied for almost two years until I read a story in a health magazine of someone being bullied. I realized that all the pain and heartache was caused by the bully's behavior.

I was in training. One day the bully asked me to do something. There is something I felt uncomfortable to do. I had a bad experience with guys before. So I tried to avoid to sit with that guy. But the bully was asking me to sit and talk with that guy.

The bully actually was one of my bosses. I should do what she said if I want to finish my training. But I said no because I don't feel like to do that. And then she insisted. I felt uncomfortable and turned to someone else for support. Unfortunately, I got the same response was I have to do that. And then I escaped from that room and went downstairs.

The bully chased me downstairs and asked me to do that again. My jaw was quivering when I saw her came closer to me. I said no again. Then she turned her back and went away angry. Then the other trainer came and said to me she is my boss that I have to do what she said. I was crying and I said I will quit if she is my boss.

Then there was a long tearful conversation... finally, I stayed. I have a new boss after that. But my situation did not become better after that. The bully was picking on me in almost everything I do.

For example, one night we were preparing an event. It was already at around 11:30 pm at night. We have to pack candies and chocolates. I was tired already. One of the friend was packing and made arrangements for the candies to look good and well presented. What I need to do was I have to do what that friend did. Then I tried my best to learn from that friend and packing the candies.

After a while she came in and looked at the candies that I have packed. I can see she was not happy. But she said nothing and turned to my new boss and said something. Then my new boss came to me and said something like event is important and make some arrangements of the candies will be important.

I felt like I was not doing a good job and I was hurt inside. It was already almost midnight. And I wanted to go home to sleep. It was unreasonable to ask me to make the candies look the same as the other friend did while I am already sleepy.

The next morning when the event happened. I saw she was messing up the candies and the arrangement was not seen anymore. This proved that the arrangement was not important. What she wanted was to pick on me.

There were many times when she and I were alone. I can feel she was not friendly to me. What I wanted to do was to keep myself away from her. But sometimes I have no choice. I had not realized my health was damaged until one day I read that article about bullying. I was crying and feel no one understands me.

Other people in the training don't want to be friends with me and avoid talking to me. Every time when I had a good friend and had a good time the friend was taken away from me and I was not allowed to walk with that friend. I found myself alone and had no support.

Finally, I decided to leave. Because I was crying every time I experienced unfairness and coldness. Every time I was doing something good but she criticized me anyway. My health was declining and I suffered from depression.

Now I felt relieved after leaving. But the memory still bothers me every now and then. I felt I have no energy to do things. I felt tired all the time.

I post this article with the hope that people will treat others good. And if being bullied, they should protect themselves.

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Response
by: Anonymous

As you said, one has to have their 'mental pencil' sharpened to spot the early warning signs of bullying. People often become blind-sided by a bully's actions and are only able to place a label on the behaviour after the event.

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