Just Kick Me

by Janice
(Burlington, MA)

I was hired into a full-time town position in August of 2011 after being in a part-time position for a year. The elected official actually called me on the phone and offered me the position.

Everything seemed to be working well until a third person was hired into the part-time position I had vacated. From then on, this same boss would talk down to me, try to intimidate me with her position, and lie through her teeth. She has given me a verbal warning on one occasion, and has now tried to give me two written warnings, only my union rep was present with the most recent one being this weekend, right before I went on vacation. I am the only person targeted for making a mistake in my office. No one else gets write-ups or verbal warnings that go into their permanent files. I should be enjoying my vacation, but I'm sitting here thinking about this. It is very hard to let go of.

The stress this is causing me is incredible. My self-worth is almost nil, and no matter what I try to do to make anything better, it is always the wrong thing.

If I take a break, I get a meeting with Human Resources, but the part-time girl who is there 4 hours a day take at least 3-4 breaks and has no repercussion. I sit at my desk all day except to go to the bathroom or to lunch and this one day, I got up and took a 15 minute break, and got a meeting with her and HR. I am seeing an EAP counselor, who even stated it was harassment.

I am trying to be strong and hold it together until another job becomes available. But dear God, I am only so strong. I am aware she is trying to get rid of me. I am very lucky that I work on a day to day basis with my union rep., but even that gets hard too.

The people I work with have even spoken to the union rep about how she treats me, and the mistakes that she makes. But without throwing them under the bus, it's hard to throw to light.

Unfortunately for me, the two major issues, it was I who addressed the problem, and she called the people to find out what happened. Now she turned around and said they called her. When she has a knock down fight with her husband at lunch time or at anytime, she comes into the office and takes it out on me. There were times that I would come into the office and I hadn't even gotten my jacket off and she would start.

I know I am all over the place, but this past week, I had two family members die. She tried to tell me that I would have to use comp. time to cover my time out instead of bereavement time, which again was a lie. She didn't do this to the other women in my office, she told them to take as much time as they needed. I took 1/2 day for 1 and 1 day for the other. Our contract allows for more than that.

It is very hard to feel worthwhile. Not only do I have a major depression disorder with PTSD, which she doesn't know about. I refuse to tell her. I also have health issues that are aggravated from stress. I have had massage therapists tell me that I need to get rid of the stress. I have tried yoga, meditation, and many other forms, but I can't stop my mind from going back to the cruelty.

I know that it will have to be me who will leave. I am looking for something. Right now though, I am hoping to stay within the overall company, and just a different division. Thank you.