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Mobbed at Work
My husband was mobbed at work. This began almost 6 years ago. My husband moved to a new job. He was fast tracked through a power plant due to his experience and in 3 months was a shift engineer. This did not sit well with his co-workers, some of whom had been there 20 years and thought they should have gotten that position.
A group of Stan's (husbands made up name) co-workers got together and decided to give him a hard time on a daily basis. When the harassment first started Stan tried to talk to the plant manager about it. The plant manager was in complete denial. This man listened to the radio all day long and had to have heard the stuff that was being said and the invitations to physical violence and did nothing.
Although his behavior at home was deteriorating, Stan coped at work as he was able to get away from the situation on his days off. When they became short handed and Stan had to start working 12 hour days 7 days a week he had a complete break-down. He had it out with the assistant manager, walked off the job and never went back.
His doctor put him on state disability for the next year. Stan slept for the next 6 months. Months 6 through 12 he was able to stay up for a couple of hours at a time. It took a couple of years before he could stay awake all day. In the mean time we had gone though his year's disability and the 1/4 year unemployment the state allowed him (after working steadily for 30 years). The stock market had taken a huge drop and his 401K wasn't worth much anymore, but it was all we had. That got spent over the next year. He eventually went to work in a paint store. He found himself in a situation with a co-worker that was a bully. She was very manipulative and knew how to set him up for trouble and he wouldn't even realize what had happened until he came home and relayed the events of the day. This lasted 6 months. He once again tried to talk to his employer to no avail. His employer's were scared of losing this women because of her knowledge in the industry even though customers had complained about her. Stan saw the end coming and quit before they could fire him.
Stan went into another depression. We can't make our monthly expenses on my paycheck and started using credit cards. The feeling was that Stan had always worked and would return to work soon. That has not happened. We are now over-burdened with debt and Stan can't find work. He got his truck driver's license and can't find employment because everyone wants experience. He is 55, gained a lot of weight during his depressive episodes and he faces rejection at every employment turn.
When he first left the power plant, I read the book "Mobbing in the Workplace". I thought I could stand by Stan and handle this. I really felt that we could get through this together.
Stan is doing better emotionally than he has since before this roller coaster started and I am a wreck. I get up 5 days a week, pull my self together and go to work. I have weekend days where I suffer complete despair and can't get out of bed. I am tired and don't want to do this anymore. I now have panic attacks and am suicidal.
If I ever talked to another woman in this situation, I would tell her to get out of the relationship and run as fast as she could.
The toll this has taken is unimaginable. Broke and destitute is not how I imagined these years. I imagined more joy when I finally had grandchildren (got 3 in 6 weeks this year).
Bullying/mobbing takes its toll on the whole family. Its cost runs the gamut from financial, relationships, physical health and mental health. There needs to be protections against this type of behavior everywhere in society and not just against protected classes of people.
Mobbing has ruined our life. At our age employers don't want to take a chance, don't want to spend money training and don't care. The only solace I have right now is that if something happens to me, he will have enough to live on for a while.