The parents of my daughter's friend, who is 13, complained that she was being bullied by older students. This is a private school and the parents have a high profile in parent groups, teacher connections etc.
When investigated, my daughter told the administration that her friend, who is very attention seeking and suffers anxiety, was not the target of the looks etc and it was some of the other girls who were sending nude photos and having sex with the boyfriends of the older girls.
In the same week her friend started posting "bra pics". This friend then told my daughter she had unprotected sex—with very explicit details. This discussion continued with the group of girls for several days. She then said she thought she was pregnant. My daughter was distraught, so concerned for her friend who was still a child and incapable of coping with a baby she begged me to ring her friend's mom so that she could help her daughter. I did. Big mistake! Whole thing was dismissed as a practical joke played on my daughter. Her friend was furious she told me. My daughter was furious that her friend was behaving like a "slut" and had lied about such a thing.
The rumour, the friend made up, morphed and changed to a story that she had sex with a year 12 not a Year 10. Now my daughter has been branded a bully and blamed for the story. The parents have told the school my daughter is bullying her
To further add to the complicated scenario, the girls danced together. The mother started going to every dance lesson and glaring at my daughter through the window all the girls at dance have been talking about it and my daughter is intimidated.
Finally this week, summering tensions, culminated in a verbal altercation with the other girl screaming in my daughter's face and my daughter running to the toilets crying. That night a video of the girl decapitating a teddy that my daughter had given her and ritualistic burning of photos with a "burn in hell" message appeared on social media.
Two and half months later, I finally spoke to the school. They arranged a mediation meeting where my daughter apologised for calling her a slut and the girl refused to apologize as she had done nothing wrong! Even worse the mediator was a friend of the other mother and told my daughter—this is what happens with rumours. So furious as the mother already told me, when my daughter didn't support the initial bullying complaint, that, "I have my daughter's back and I will grind into the ground anyone who gets in my daughter's way."
My husband has wanted this friendship, which has lasted 4 years, to end for a long time. The other girl is also a self-harmer and threatens suicide if she feels any discomfort.
I think that this will never be resolved and we need to change school but the injustice galls me. My husband says it is not about winning or losing - it is about our daughter and she is miserable. Almost all of the small school cohort have turned against her. I worry that I am teaching my daughter to run when things get tough but we have to cut our losses. We will be the fourth girl to leave over conflicts with this girl that no one is willing to address. Do I just worry about my daughter's sanity and give her a fresh start?
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