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What Every Target of Workplace Bullying Needs to Know

My Right To Feel Safe At Work

by sadmamma
(United Kingdom)

I started a new job after getting back on my feet due to a life threatening situation in my family. In the first couple of months I had no issues with my co workers. My line manager micro managed but I put it down to the fact she had long service but lacked training. 3 month later a new co worker arrived on the scene she was loud, aggressive and difficult to relate to for me. She was a friend of my co worker so they bonded. She arrived whilst I was on leave.

They both spoke together and exclude me from conversations and would ignore me or take a negative attitude to my request to ask for assistance with work we shared. One of them was okay on her own with me but the when the other was in the vicinity the attitude would change.

I spoke to my partner about my experience he as a professional manager suggested I raise the issue with my senior manager.

I did this but it was a big mistake. I had a meeting with my manager then another with him and line manager. They then had a meeting with my co workers and themselves I was excluded.

I was then called into another meeting with all of us because the atmosphere was bad in our workplace, my co worker was trying to provocate me with bad behaviour I tried to speak out she shouted me down.

My senior manager called us all into a meeting.

My co workers were both angry at me because I went behind their backs to management but they were behaving badly to the point I knew they would not listen to any reasonable requests from me.

During the meeting they made me out a liar and I could only shrug my shoulders, the new co worker took the floor pointed her finger and raged and was allowed to behave like this. The other was so offended that I had gone behind her back to management.

It was like a big game for them. I had a light bulb moment these people would never treat me fairly with honesty and respect.

My manager asked us to do a course which was supposed to help us all reflect on the current situation.

I am now getting the silent treatment from both of them. I don't feel as bad because I understand that I need to make a decision because not one of them have the guts to stop their behaviour.

Alarm bells rang when they were abusive about our senior manager. I know my only option is to leave. I really wish I could challenge and confront anyone who bullies. Having real life drama is painful. No one needs people behaving badly in their lives, I look at someone who has come back from the brink of death and they are my inspiration for living life to the full.

Comments for My Right To Feel Safe At Work

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You Need to ADVOCATE!!!
by: Anonymous

I read your complaint several times, so that I was very clear.

Did you, at any point, Advocate for yourself?

Sometimes, it just takes confronting the people who are causing issues, and tell them:

"What you are doing is really hurting my feelings. It seems like we get along fine, until --- is here, then you seem to become a little passive aggressive. Can we start over, and work as a team? I don't want there to be issues between us."

then tell ---, "I think we got off on the wrong foot. I want us to be able to work together."

I think that much of this is perceived, as 'bullying,' by you. After reading your complaint, (SEVERAL TIMES), it almost sounds like you have some hurt feelings because you used to have a friend at work, and now they are close with another coworker, instead of you. I also think that you were a little premature in going to management... Which is what caused all of subsequent problems.

The only way you can fix this now, is to muck up the courage, and confront each person individually. Let them know that you are sorry you involved management, and you will not make that mistake again, before you actually speak with them first. Let them know that they don't have to like you, but you would like a peaceful work environment.

It is one thing to be bullied in high school, where you have advocates, like counselors, to mediate... In the workplace, you MUST advocate for yourself, otherwise, no one else will. The mature thing to do, would have been to go to each person, and discuss the problems, then come to an understanding, or compromise. Management doesn't have time to sort out all of the drama, between coworkers, and frankly, they don't want to.

Sorry this is happening to you, and this response may seem harsh, but the sad reality, is that you should have plucked up the courage to confront these people face to face.

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