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What Every Target of Workplace Bullying Needs to Know

NICE Not The Way In Today's Work Environments

by Lizzy in NJ
(New Jersey)

Know your own GO(O)D self that is in you, and 'know the game' now played in business environments. Don't say...naaaah it's not that way... it is. The rules go like this:

1. In today's workplace offices of small or mid-size (maybe some larger corporate, though I suspect large and corporate are different) In small or mid-size -- owner sets no 'boundaries' of acceptable behavior (business standards and protocol) The small to mid size business 'has no time to figure those things out and is relying on the 'adult' they hire to handle others all themselves. REMEMBER ... there will NOT be found in small any boundaries that workers need to adhere to for interaction. (not officially, that would be too easy and make for work to the business managerial... small and mid size are only looking to churn out a product or service and make their money)

2. If you are NEW ... the possibility exists you will be 'tested' by at least one ... to see what you are about. "will you sharpen my pencils for me?" "Will you find some files for me?" (you don't report directly to this person and you know that and this is not your 'job') "Would you fax for me... I'm really SWAMPED." It all happens so 'fast' ... you are from the 'old school' where worker to worker cooperation was 'a given' ... no big deal... if you could assist you just 'did it' / NOT IN TODAY'S WORLD. Anything you take to do 'to help' and 'be friendly' is seen as OVERSTEPPING your boundaries ...in a world that sets no 'boundaries' (confusing isn't it? To confuse is the aim of a 'no rules' but 'rules' liberal society) This is THE GAME...of 'office'

3. Anything done without it being a 'direct order' from the one you report to...will NOT be taken in by 'boss' as simply being cooperative and helpful but trying to 'take the place of the boss' (supervisor, manager, whomever you report to) There's a semi logic to this business thinking that they can't explain. Since today's authority does not have the 'disciplined nature' of good order with rules...they are a bit insecure and that insecurity comes out when another is being 'a help' ... they can't have people 'just helping' ...it can get 'out of hand' and 'boss' loses his or her (usually a her) control in a no boundaries working environment. *Confused again...not matter keep reading 'the office game'

4. When new, know there is a boss you are 'under' and NO MATTER that someone other than 'your boss' you report to ...asks the SIMPLEST favor (close a window, sharpen a pencil, find a file for them) *if they ask you to close a file drawer...that they forgot to do...ok, you can quickly close it...(let common sense prevail as well as 'the rule' of SAFETY FIRST) But in matters pertaining to 'the co worker's work and your work' ... BEWARE when another worker asks 'of you' ... You're NICE you want to 'get along' ... be seen that way (especially when new) AND THERE ARE PERSONS WHO WILL take advantage of you for that newness and 'easy target' they see on your front or back personhood. ... if your co-worker is so 'busy' 'swamped' ... he can't find a file him or herself, or fax something him or herself... he or she should 'courtesy and respect' wise to 'the general boss' of the department ... tell 'department head' they are 'really busy' and can YOU (stating your name) can Joe, Nancy, Sue, Liz... assist you with filing or faxing and it should be done 'in front of you' ...This little thing both shows THE BOSS respect TO YOU who is new, and SHOWS THE BOSS that THIS OLD WORKER of the firm RESPECTS 'you who are new' ... which actually PUTS THIS ONE in good stead with BOSS... that THEY are friendly and cooperative. Don't ask for this one to boas and don't just do it ... because you have no work to do... this would be to 'take matters to yourself' ... This can be 'tricky' because what is asked is often so simple on the surface and would take 'a minute' ... but in business, like the army, nothing is simple ... you are being watched for knowing the way of proper business 'POLITeness... i.e.: BUSINESS POLITICS. EVERY LITTLE ACTION IS WATCHED ... even if you think you are just being 'nice.' There is no such word as 'NICE' in the business world. *it all comes down to 'power and control and money' ... and all in an office are watching that you don't look 'better' than they... it's the UNWRITTEN RULE OF THE 'OFFICE POLITe game' ... THE OFFICE POLITICS GAME... and it must be remembered always or you go down the chute ... downsized, terminated for some false reason, for they do need a reason of some sort. it is 'the rule' they follow by that outside third party that rules their private business.

NOTHING is 'just done' because of 'niceness' ... EVERYTHING is watched for EXACT polite ways... much like being in 'the army' ... YES ...NO... (you can perhaps skip the Sir or Ma'm ... but THAT'S ANOTHER thing... do not assume how you are to address a supervisor or co-worker... if they want to be 'cute' and come to your desk to say "HI MISSY"... do not react to such blatant rudeness... with smile say a cheerful Hi, how are you... please no need for formality, all my friends call me Liz, and I certainly hope you are my friend. Then ask them (they don't know how to communicate this without help) Say...by the way, what would you like to be called Mr Smith? or 'Joe?" "Sue?" What is your preference for being greeted? Always 'set the example' of graciousness even if 'it is not shown' TO you This is to be a SPIRITED person, who puts OTHERs needs first...and forgets 'self' / You graciously 'tell this other off' WITH A SMILE of SPIRITED MANNERS... and they will 'never lay a glove' on you...(you'll never be hurt or labeled "offensive" to them)

It can be tricky... it is THE OFFICE POLITICS GAME and you are not going to be told 'the rules of the game' outright... you are being tested for at least three months on lots of things... 'official duties you do' 'how fast you do them' and how well you know 'the order of things' in a business world that has not set boundaries or order officially ... because 'they can't' to set a business standard officially is deemed 'discriminatory' (I know, more confusion..but that's how it is in a no rules ..liberal society) Liberal minds 'want respect and affirmation' TO themselves but YOU must be the one who shows them 'how to be' (they are know nots in terms of good spiritedness' ... aka GODLINESS.

Some of this might 'sound' like sarcasm... not really. Maybe slightly exaggerated hyperbole... i.e.: not to be taken completely literally but exaggerated for purpose of sharing 'what is the office politics game' that NOW is. Beware of how you move, breathe, and have being and if a worker ... union or non union and 'new' remember you are 'NOTHING' to them. Always. NOTHING. But...knowing your worth TO THE GOD who is raising you up each day...you matter and you are special and that is the only one you need to be concerned with. Do what these 'know nots' want, live your good life outside of the office, show 'them' by example who leads you and with spirit of forgiveness to their disrespect subtle or blatant, utter no such word 'offensive' TO them but pray for them that the ONE MUTUAL GOD who loves all will bring them also to a good life, possessing that Spirit of other centeredness that brings them peace and blessings also (as you have)

This is to 'pick up the cross' ... and work and live in a 'broken' liberal (childish) world.

I hope the site master see's this fitting to help many... because coming to this has greatly enlightened my 'simple naive NICE mind'

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addendum to Nice not the way
by: Lizzy in NJ

That post would confuse and 'scare' any good worker... but it had to be said...as confusing as it is.

To work in a 'small' to 'mid-size' firm one must have more 'on the ball' than to work in large and corporate where 'usually' there are people managers, some sense of order and procedure and protocol very much spelled out as to who is who and who gets to tell who anything for the general working staff. In a corporate business it is 'spelled out' so specifically... (though I only worked in one...most of my years were in small or mid size)

I was 'fooled' ... because in years of 1980 thru to 1986...small or mid size was rather 'controlled' and 'orderly' ... the difference that I see was that then...there was NO COMPUTERS. Things took time and there was plenty of work to do ... and if folks are busy then they are content. The older were secure that it took awhile to establish the skill they had and no 'newbie' was going to outshine him or her in the immediate. Computers took 'the skill' from working. ZIP ZIP...point and click...done. (no skill) It makes for uneasiness in the tenured worker.

Then, the general 'morality' of those running the show... not really disciplined. The 'casual workplace' means it is up to worker to know how to put others before self ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS. ...and then even that 'is not good enough'

I'm glad I got thru it all to the amount of years I did (32) and now whatever freelance I get ... so be it. What value is the ability to just do what worker does best... WORK.

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