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What Every Target of Workplace Bullying Needs to Know

Other Mother Bullying My Child

by anniec

My son (11 years old) has been the target of a group of 3 mothers who have sons in his class at school. The three women are all friends, they are the type of women that you see at drop off in the car park gossiping long after the school bell has gone in the morning.

This all started when my son and his friend were involved in a conflict with the son of one of these 3 women. Her boy has always had social issues, is a known thug and bully. Right from prep his mother has always haunted the school hovering around him trying to control outcomes of any situations this child has got into. In her eyes he is never guilty of anything and is a complete angel.

The conflict was a verbal one initially between my son's friend and the other boy, my son stuck up for his friend and was verbally abused (very bad language). The boy pushed my son, and my son pushed him back. The boy then fell over and my son's friend tripped over him. My son then diffused the situation by walking away.

Since this incident the other boy has decided to focus all his anger and dislike at my son. So has his mother. She and her group of friends gossip together in front of their sons about how my son is the worst boy imaginable. Now he is an easy target and scapegoat for anything that happens in the school yard.

Worst of all her son is a large child much bigger than mine and he is an aggressive child if he doesn't get his way. Because my son is not easily intimidated and is quite a popular boy with the other kids in the group that makes this boy even more resentful and jealous. The boy has continually sworn at, pushed and disagreed with my son. He is no angel, he swears very badly and some of the things he has called my son are dreadful. Most of the time my son does not bother to tell me about it. In fact I only really know because I have had to ask his side of the story, however this other boy must tell his mother his own version of everything.

This boy is often a target for jokes within the group, as he is a large child and not that sharp. But then all of the boys tend to rib one another. They play a game called bull rush, like tiggy and as boys do they all egg and tease each other when it is their turn to be it. If my boy joins in, immediately the child takes offence and must report it however trivial to his mum. The most ironic part of it is that most of these instances have been initiated by one of the woman's gossip group mothers sons who is suppose to be the child's mate??? But once again my boy is painted the bad egg.

It all flared up when mother of this child wrote an A4 letter of complain regarding the situation between my son and hers? Then emailed it to all the mothers in the year level she considered allies. In the email she slandered my child with anything or instance she could gather from her son where my son might have disagreed with or said something to another child even when it was in a game situation such as touch or this bull rush game where they are all doing it to each other, to justify her own gripe. Apparently she then emailed this to the school.

The school had the kids in and talked to them. Apparently when this happened the real truth started to come out. That the accuser was actually responsible for much of the problem and my son was to an extend cleared of his accusations. This was not good enough for the mother of the boy and she continues to try to paint him the bully and finds reasons to pump other children about what is said and done to gather evidence against my son. She has even tried to personally intimidate him which is frightening.

This has had a huge effect on my son. One of the boys in the group wanted my son to go to his birthday party but then came to school and he told my son that it couldn't happen because his mum (she is friends with the other boys mother) didn't like my son. This was devastating to my son who does not even really know the woman. He was mortified to think a "grown up" who he has never given cause to didn't like him.

Next the mother stalked my boy in the car park pick up area. She parked her car in front of him and beeped the horn to get his attention, he looked at her and she continually eyeballed him till he moved up a bit, she then moved her car up to again be in front of him and eye ball him. She then wrote another A4 email to the school head complaining my son was disrespectful of her in the car park!??

On another occasion in the car park I was witness to her intimidation when unknown to her I was parked up from her waiting for my son when he walked over to my car he suddenly put his head down and started walking double quick to where I was parked in our car. I asked him what had caused that and he said "mum didn't you see her, she is parked a couple over from you and when I walked passed she started revving her engine."

My son has been so upset by all of this and it continues. The last straw is that a couple of weeks ago this woman rang our home very late at night on the weekend to personally tell me how bad my son is and that none of the other mothers like him and that he is generally a terrible child. I hung up on her and told her I would be contacting the police if she rang again. I also told her she should take it up with the school as she had initiated that line in the beginning, and in fact I would prefer the matter handled that way.

I contacted the school who are doing their best for all parties. Now however her friend the mother of another of these boys is complaining about my boy, again over minor playground incidents that are all in a game situation. The school have been very professional. They are fair and see it how it is and work with the boys appropriately to sort it out.

Unfortunately this certainly has had an effect on our family. We are devastated by the impact this woman continues to have.

It is basically all over a few things said in a group of boys in a game situation, these kids are 11 year old boys they all give and take comments to each other. In fact usually the next day they are all playing happily again. It is just a case of this woman and her little group of helicopter mums stirring the pot and discussing my son in a negative way in front of their sons at any chance they get.

I cannot wait till the end of the year. I don't know how to repair the damage already done and I am only thankful that our school at least is doing their best to contain things. I am appalled that grown adult women would act like this and cannot believe they could be so one eyed especially as their sons are quite often instigators of what happens. My boy will give as good as he gets and will stick up for himself, I am aware that he is no angel, however it really is a case of these other 3 women seeing their own child through rose coloured glasses.

It has become overwhelming.

Comments for Other Mother Bullying My Child

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Your family deserves better than abuse
by: Trinity

Hi Mum, change schools. That school and those children and parents are not good enough for your family and the situation is intolerable and damaging for you and especially your child. Same thing happened with my son 20 years ago, he was picked on and bullied by children, teachers, principle and other parents because I was a young single mother. The psychiatrist wanted him on pills to control his 'impulse and concentration' yet I saw no impulsiveness or lack of concentration when he was at home. In a big brave move for a 21 year old I ditched the psychiatrist, pediatrician and school and sent him to a school in a much higher socio-economic suburb. His first year at the bad school however has scarred him for life though he has grown up to be a good man he lacks confidence still. I should never have listened to the 'experts', I should have got him out as soon as the principle said the words "your son is a can of worms".

My daughter is bullied by another mother and her child
by: Seriously Stressed Mum

Hi Anniec,
It has been such a relief for me to read your article & know that I am not alone in this awful situation my family finds itself in. I can empathise with you so much and thank you for sharing these very painful experiences your son is going through.
My daughter has just turned 7. For the 1.5 years she has been the target of bullying by a girl in her class and the girl's mother.
My daughter is an all-rounder st school, she loves learning and has won academic medals for the last 2 years. She is also a lovely little violinist and good athlete. None of this has come without hard work on her part. She is not top of the class in any subject but is in all the top groups and always puts her best effort in.
The other little girl has bullied another girl in the class who is also doing well academically, as has the mother. We have had incidents of the mother screaming at my daughter and the other little girl being bullied, intidimation in the school corridor, spreading of malicious lies by the mother and even false reports to the school that it is my daughter who is the bully (the school can see what is going on but seem to either be powerless to do much or are just scared of the mother).
Every year my daughter wins a medal or gets chosen to play a violin solo it gets worse. We have even recently decided to get a new violin teacher outside of school as the girl who is bullying also plays the violin (but does not enjoy it). One week later, I am told by my daughter that the bullying mother has somehow found out who we are now going to and moved her daughter to the same teacher!
Every school holiday I am told by other parents that this mother has said terrible things to them about my daughter and that she doesn't deserve anything she's won. She's even been heard at the school gates telling other parents that it should have been her child who won the medal.
I have reported it to the school, they believe me, but are super wishy-washy in their approach. The mother is now not allowed to take my daughter's reading group, or that of the other little girl she screamed at, but she is getting worse in her spiteful and jealous behaviour.
She refuses to accept her own daughter is the bully and is basically copying her own behaviour. A lot of the horrible things the little girl says begin with "My mummy says you are...."

Does anyone have any suggestions ? I am considering moving schools although I feel that by doing this I am teaching my daughter that we run away from bullies. We have tried to teach our daughter coping techniques & strategies for how to stand up for herself, but when it's an adult who's the bully and my daughter is so young, it's very hard.

Thoughts and suggestions really appreciated :-)

by: Anonymous

i can fully sypathize with u my daughter is7 years old we have had a absolute nightmare this year cant wait to break up for the summer hols another mother at school is targeting my daughter . her daughter is a very quite but crafty 7 year old who is best freinds with my very outspoken but kind 7 year old the head says my daughter is very strong and the other little girl has no voice and is blaming my daughter for everything that goes wrong and her mother is so nastey to my little girl my daughter is becoming isolated she goes to a private school with not that many girls i am so angry and sad that they just cant be left alone to sort out there problems

I know how you feel
by: Anonymous

wow - I'm in a similar situation - my daughter is the subject of bullying from ... the mother!!! In a further attempt to alienate my daughter this woman has befriended all the other mother's socially. She suggested I find new friends for my daughter (she'd taken over her last best friend for her own daughter) - she suggested I send her to the new horrible woman with the awful child. I had no idea who she was talking about - but eventually my daughter did start to play with this girl and her mother is/was nice. However when the bitch mother saw my daughter having a best friend she be-friended the mother and has now removed my daughter from the scene (please note the daughter isn't doing anything - the mother IS!)

nightmare mother and daughter
by: blondie

I befriended a woman who moved opposite my home, I have moved house because of this family but find I am still having issues both in and out of school. My only comfort if you can call it that, is this woman has upset so many others with her confrontational manner. My girls 12 and 14 both attend the same school as her daughter, the mother is a dinner lady there also. She glares at my girls making them feel uncomfortable, makes a big fuss of their friends, she gives any dried up bits of food to them and on occasions has made inappropriate comments. In the car park when my car reaches hers she will move out without indicating then start pipping at me, she also does this to my husband the school says its not their responsibility. The bullying to my younger child is awful not physical but mental, it has left her totally isolated, the woman's daughter has involved so many others, my daughter has had messages via the computer stating I have threatened this girls family, we are been made out to be terrible family, the lies are horrendous. The police have been involved as her husband threatened and abused me after I told the woman to stop bothering my children as I would be forced to go into school. My elder child has seen her husband parked at the front of our new property, we have taxis sent which we have not ordered, I have recently been into school to report the latest bout of bullying but as a family we are finding it all very difficult, with little support, Any advice would be welcome thanks

i've had enough
by: Anonymous

Each of the above stories compares to my own. This awful mother uses any excuse to victimise my child,the most obvious one being that she invites every child in the class to parties except mine,which in the past i've ignored, but its been brought to my attention that she,s now telling other parents to do the same because apparently I,m a trouble causer with a horrid child. The saddest thing about it is that these kids have special needs. I honestly dont know how much longer i can cope without losing it altogether. Thats one of her tricks too. she pushes until someone threatens her or worse, then brings in the police. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr

My outcome ...
by: Anonymous

I am the writer of the comments entitled 'I know how you feel'by: Anonymous
I wanted to tell you how things turned out one year on ...

The mother in question still lives in the flat above us. We barely see each other - seems we have worked out the times we leave etc. Having said that she has been to my shop to try and make things better (without mentioning the kids) and even asked me to go up for a glass of wine I REFUSED!!! I refrained from going to all the other mothers (which is what I wanted to do) to try and plead mine and my daughter's case. I'm glad I did.

My daughter is quite popular now and we often have a house full of kids (even the woman's children) My daughter became quite popular in her own way - her personality started to shine through once she'd removed herself from the woman's daughter's group of invited friends. Like the post above we spent one year listening to parties upstairs which my daughter was the only one not invited. Because the woman had forced friends upon her daughter with parties/sleep overs etc - bringing kids from other areas she didn't bother with the immediate neighbours - this was her downfall - she didn't include the local kids who now (together with my daughter) play outside on bikes etc (the natural way of making friends)

My child is happy - I am happy - there are no more parties upstairs - I don't mix too much with mothers anymore, I leave the kids to be friends I don't need to make friends with the parents. The mother lost a good friend in me. I have really learned from this experience. So just hang in there, there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

by: im sorry

sorry my daughter has ben bullyed for 4 yrs

by: Anonymous

About a year ago , I wrote "I,ve had enough", and I just thought i'd let you know how things are now . The awful woman has now moved from our estate (she terrorises her new neighbours ) and recently her child left our school. Whether this was her decision or theirs, I care not one iota. At last this manipulative mother and daughter tag team are out of our lives.

by: Kim Lavery

I have been the victim of a few mothers come to me regarding nonsense i.e my son received a text asking him for a square go, the mother came to me to complain and told my son to stay away from her boy! Another mother allowed her drunk alcoholic husband to basically put his face to mine and ask why his son is being bullied. However my son didn't bully the boy, basically its boyground banter and they mistake boisterousness for bullying, eventually i had to go to the school as the mother got on top of me so much, i thought oh god i better go to the school and see what my son has been doing, i went to the school and got a great report about my son, basically the mother is to over protective and cannot accept that her son is a trouble maker and tells lies.
Another 'gran' decided it was ok to abuse me in the street, i decided there was no leveling with her and walked away. A year on and its started up with the gran. The grandson doesn't seem to have any pals, he accused my son of calling him a name in school and instead of telling the teacher he told his gran at 3pm and she abused my son by shouting and swearing in front of others mothers, i got the police to her, the next day i seen her gassing in street with her cronnies, i look at her after giving her a mouthful the day before and getting the police to her yet again, she turns away as she knows what she is doing. This boy will not leave my son alone, he tripped him up in class 2 weeks ago and badly hurt him, he said it was an accident, which i know it wasn't i have contact the council on why there is no CCTV, they will get back to me on it, as i can't press charges as no one will go as a witness and i cannot ask the children to do it, i have contacted the school asking for the boy to be kept away from my son, which hasn't happened yet, as he comes home daily and tells me what the boy is doing to him, i have an appointment on Wed at 2.30, i have also contacted the child protection welfare officer who deals with the school, i have yet to receive an email reply from him as he was out of the office, this is affecting me badly. My son is having headaches through this too...

concerned mother, i refuse to move him schools as my parents done that to me, and its not the answer its harder to make friends and settle

We are moving schools
by: Mary

Hi my daughter was bullied for nearly a year in school by three girls. The school refused to do anything because the children's mothers were closely associated with the school. One being a teacher, one being an LSA and the other being a school governor. In fact as many of you have also mentioned the school chose to blame my child saying she had emotional problems. The fact that I am a psychologist made this seem rather ironic. However being a worried mum took my daughter to see a child psychologist who did not know my family and who said there was absolutely nothing wrong emotionally with my child. Being at the end of my tether I decided to remove my child from the school. However I did speak to a friend of mine whose daughter had been badly bullied at the same school who gave me some wonderful advice. She told me that no matter how bad things get not to take your child out of the school until the child is able to deal with the situation or that the bullies get bored. It is only when the situation is resolved that you should remove your child from the school. That way the child leaves not with a sense that they have some how failed and they are running away from something. Instead they leave with a feeling of achievement. Don't get me wrong I still have to intervene especially as one of the mothers involved who is an LSA started saying inappropriate things to her daughter about my child who then repeated it to my daughter. However this September my child will be starting a new school and my daughter is so excited.

stressed out mom
by: Anonymous

My daughter is also being bullied by 2 other parents. My daughter is a cheerleader and at the top of her class. The other mothers that are doing the bullying refuse to let their daughters talk to mine and wont even allow their child to ride in our car. One of the lady's daughters has went and talked to the cheer coach and cried and said that she wants to be friend with my daughter and that her mom refuses. These mom's talk to each other and other parents about my child and say things that are not true and i think all this is uncalled for. Someone please advise me

Follow up to we are changing schools
by: Mary

Some of you may have read my previous comments about changing schools because of bullying I just wanted to say that my daughter is in the third week of her new school and is so happy. It just goes to show that things can get better

by: Angry upset Mum

I cannot believe that so much bullying goes on from a parent to a child. My 7 year old is a normal kid. Sometimes she is great other times will play up. However I have seen several other kids wind my child up because they get a reaction. One of these kids has a mother that sat on the parents association of the infant school. Her child bullied other children, would take others away from them so they were isolated but nothing was ever done about it. She also pinched my child all the way through school. They are now in juniors and the mother of the child shouted at my child across the road, when I picked her up on it (politely) she seemed affronted that anyone would challenge her and I got a tirade of vileness that included "no one likes your child". Since then she has gone out of her way to speak to other parents, the school and her child and other children to inflict her bullying on my child through them. She plays the martyr and will not acknowledge that her daughter plays a role in bullying or being mean to other kids. I cannot believe such a vile person - who thinks that it is ok to bully a 7 year old child, can be entertained by so called decent people. I cannot bring myself to even look at her as even if she had not included my child in her crusade, I now know she is capable of bullying a child. Vile, vile woman! I hope the saying what goes around comes around comes true in her case. Bad karma coming her way!

Mom Gossiping
by: Anonymous

I am actually a 13 year old girl who was looking up advice on how to deal with a parent gossiping about me. She tells a bunch of other moms that I am mean and bullying her child when I am always really nice to her! I cry to myself all the time because of the terrible things this mom says about me. Let me explain my situation: I am work hard at school and sports so I do well and I am nice to people so I have a lot of friends. The girl who's mother gossips about me has a personality disorder and doesn't really have any friends. She hangs out with me and my friends at school and we are always really kind to her. I honestly cannot think of any reason why she would say such mean things about me except that she is jealous that her daughter doesn't do as well as me at school and making friends. The first time I heard about this mom gossiping about me, I started being as nice a possible to her daughter, who acts like my best friend and then apparently tells her mom that I am mean. I just don't know what to do anymore. It really bothers me that a grown up would gossip about a kid. I guess I will just try to ignore it because I know I am not a bully. I just don't want the reputation as a bully. :(

Another mom bullying my 12 yrs old
by: Anonymous

Daily my daughter would come telling me that her friends have been mean to her. I playing down to girls being girls.
One day, one of the mom's text my daughter to stop being a bully. I checked all communication between my daughter and hers and all I could read was my daughter trying to find what has she done wrong.

I decided to ring this mom and tell her if there was any problem between the girls, she could contact me rather than my daughter. She started shouting at me and first confirmed it until I pointed out that if an adult accused a child that is bullying too. She started denying it and insult me and made threats to report my daughter to the police for bullying.and start texting me .

I contacted the police myself frightened for my daughter safety, cancel her snap chat. But now worrying for a bullying at my daughters school. My husband thinks I shouldn't contact her and neither the police as it will make things worst.

My daughter is very shy, bright girl and I am worrying this is affecting her emotionally and I rather than help her I have made things even worst for her. What should u do know?

Changing schools
by: fed up mum

My son has been the victim of sustained bullying by several mums at a private school (one is even training to be a social worker!). They have spread vindictive stories, isolated him from their children, and run to the school with countless tales. Giving him filthy looks seems to be a group specialty! One even sent a lengthy letter to the school about him that is so full of lies and spite that the school won't show it to us! Most of the problem seems to be that he stands up to their kids when they're out of line and these poor darlings have never had to deal with that before. Believe me, our son is no angel but we have been staggered by the vitriolic and idiotic behaviour of these so-called adults.

However, the current ringleader mum really wants my daughter to be friends with her daughter - despite slagging off my son to me and everyone else on every occasion! She takes the view that her own children never lie and makes very inflammatory comments (e.g. at a school meeting with teachers, she actually asked, 'Who doesn't X (my son) bully?'. When called on this as he is the recipient of bullying, she then claimed that she never said it! She also can't understand why we would be upset about her regular sniping about our son with other parents at Friday night, booze-filled parent get-togethers. She wanted our family to take a lie detector test when we discovered that one of her charges physically assaulted our son on several occasions and we raised it with the school!

The school has been great, and recognise that there is a 'campaign' against our son by particular families. However, we waited until the start of the new academic year and have now enrolled our kids in a new school. Even upon hearing the news, one of my daughter's 'friends' at the old school told her that she would be bullied there! Nice, eh?

For us, part of the problem seems to have been caused by very small class sizes at the private school, meaning that any falling out among the kids is magnified, and parents steam in over the most trivial and normal of exchanges between kids. There is also an incredibly arrogant attitude and sense of complete protection from consequences among a number of the children there. It will be such a relief to start afresh though we are nervous about are kids being targeted again. But it is great to be able to move the kids on at a time that suits all of our family's needs and not those of the bullies.

Same Thing Happens in Bolivia
by: Lynn

I am experiencing almost the same... My 8 Year-old Twins are being Bullied by almost all the mothers of their class. They even denounced me as a child abuser of my kids and that would be the reason why they "act as they do"... My boys aren't angels but they are normal outgoing little people, good students and quite popular between their peers... anyway one particular mother is the one that made a crusade against them . The School is making its best to try to make my kids comfortable in this matter. Hope they back-off and stop being so mean.

common thread...
by: Anonymous

I know exactly how your all feel.
I am having similar problems with my son Being bullied at school by other children and parents..
Reading everyone comments there seems to be something very similar with our children..
I know in our situation my son is very gifted loves learning and it is well know by most parents and kids in our year level..not anything l have said people have realized very quickly..l believe this is why he is being bullied and being left out ..My son is a lovely polite caring little boy..Teachers and the school have never complained about him instead they tell me he is a joy to teach..
Well we received some wonderful news a few months ago from another school...My son has been offered a scholarship to a private school for grade 5 next year which is until the end of secondary school..l feel that we are having the last laugh that will give those gossiping parents more to be jealous about..

my bullys mom is physco
by: Preston

Hi my name is Preston I am 15 years old I was friends with this one kid that was my age and until my bully from my elementary school got kicked out of other school that this pasific kid bullied me at and came to the school I transfered to and then bullies me there , and got other kids to turn against me well one of the other kids my age this one pasfic one I was friends with until backstsbbed me and became my friend from my bully and I told my mom aboout it and my mom called the kid that backstwbbed mes mother and she cussed my mom and said bullying was a joke and she raised her kids to be and hang with little thugs and bullys and told her kids if they wanted to beat me up well power to em she would have there back 100% and then threatened my mom so my mom just hung up on her my mom also after she tried to talk to my bullys parents she tried to go to school and they said they didn't care and they let me be bullies bullied and my bullys text me messages on face book telling me I can go kill my self and threatened me me and my mom has tried everything to help me and nothing is working does anyone have any suggestions for me and my mom to try ? And see of what helps for my bullying problem that me and my mom are trying to stop from happening to me ?

Most of the comments seem bloated
by: Anonymous

I think that where the parents say that my child is not doing anything, he is the best, are lying. Just like how they are blaming others that their children are the problem. I just had an incident where a fourth grader in the park stated that he wanted to kill my 6 yr old son. My son has always had trouble in the park with the big kids ganging up against him. He is annoying they say.
I asked the fourth grader why he said such a nasty thing, for which he said my son annoyed him.
Later in the evening, his brother a 8th grader came to talk to us about it. he said that his brother was a nice guy and always invited others to play with him. In my personal experience, and what I see in the park ever single day, he is not nice. He is not a big bully I think, but he is not inclusive and instigates others from playing with my kid, especially his younger friends, who follow him.
i didnt make big deal of this, but my son has had issues in the play ground for more than a year. His confidence level has gone down to 0.
luckily now he has found a same aged boy to play along.
The point i am trying to make is that the parents who are all praise for their own kid, should go wash away their lies.

It has to stop
by: Anonymous

I'm living the very same nightmare, shame on these parents

other mother bullying me and my child
by: Anonymous

i got that same, situation, my 9 yr old daughter was good in school she is always the first outstanding students since she enter school, but now the parent of another child whose the second honor accused my daughter that she is cheating in school right in front of the PTA's meeting this accusation seems to be humiliating to us as a parent. it really amazed us how come my child is cheating shes seating infront of the teacher, i did some investigation to most of her teacher and those teacher told us that my dd was a well behaved child, i did talk to some student they said my daughter was very good in class, but sometimes she was bullied by their other classmates because shes not getting friendly to them. now i bring this matter and write a complaint to the head of school the first thing the head of school did is investigate all the children if they saw my daughter once cheated. we found out that two child says she is, but we dont know what circumstances, but i question the credibility of the child because of one situation from last year that the mother of that child came to our house and accused for bullying which is not true. my question is it possible that this mother, will brainwash her child and speak to the head that yes she is a cheater.

A mother yelled in my face
by: Anonymous

hi im a 5th grade student and there is this girl in the same grade that thinks i hate her and want to ruin her life because her friends are my friends and she thinks i try to take that away from her so she starts to talk about me and says really mean things about me like she wants to kill me and she says bad words like im the b word or im a fat a** . So then she would try to tell me sorry and asks if i can forgive her and we can be friends so i forgive her and become friends with her and then there she goes again and talks about me so then i really got mad and told her that she needs to stop already! And so she lost a lot of friends so she hates me and so she was telling the office that i was trying to beat her up and things like that and telling them that i was saying these mean things about her when i wasnt so she was telling her mom the same thing so a week ago i was at the After school program and i was with my friends and her mother went up to me and was right in my face and yelled at me and called me a peice of S**** and said i better stop f***ing bullying her daughter and i told her that if she needs to speak to me she can go talk to my mother and she said NO im f***ing talking to u and then she threatend me saying that if i was mean to her daughter again she will beat the f out of me! So then the staff had to step in front of me because she was yelling really loud and her finger was right in my face and it looked like she was going to hit me. So today is Monday and we are having awards for this trimester and her mother is going to be there and im afraid to go because i kinow her mother is going to say something to me. So im very scared to go to school now because i am afraid that the mother will aproatch me again and do something to me.

Other mother blaming my daughter
by: Anonymous

Having trouble also. My 6year old was very good friends with another 6yesr old girl. The other child was very reservered in junior infants and the mother was anxious to have playdates. The child was very well behaved the first few times in my house but became very cheeky and bossy with my daughter which was a cause for conflict. One time after being on a playdate at this other girls house my daughter came home with a burst lip. I think supervision was minimal in this girls house so I started to do playdates where I was present.a couple of weeks ago we were in the playground and my daughter came rose inning over to tell me the other child had said that her toy dog was not real. The toy dog is a comfort to my shy child so for this child to say this was very distressing. It has caused a divide in the class and the other child often comes into school crying as her bad behaviour has caused her to be unpopular. Her mother is blaming my daughter and won't accept that her daughter is accountable for her behaviour. I spoke with another parent about this and she said this child can be mean to her daughter and son also. The mother of the mean girl sent me a nasty message saying that she was going to speak to the teacher about it. The insinuation being that my daughter was to blame! I was furious. I tried phoning this woman and she did not answer. I am disgusted with the mother's attitude. I will be giving her and her daughter a wide berth!

I'm appauled
by: Tammy

I read the entire story and couldn't get pass the first two comments/advices as I am utterly appauled and literally disgusted that mothers would steep that low to bully an child to make themselves better and create a masked persona for thier own to say they're perfect. And to call late hours to abuse the mother in furthering the abuse is utterly feral. I've been a single mother almost five years now and have created a name that I am one mother not to test or challenge when it comes to my children who are autistic. My son was bullied by five 12 year old boys and my was only 6 years old. I completely sympathise you doll but soon as I had one of those bullies parents which happened to be a father that tried to intimidate and frighten me but instead he and the other boys were taken from the school and taken elsewhere after I gave a good ear full of strength and defence for my son that I would not tolerate or be shaken by bunch of low lives that can't get out of highschool garbage even in adult years. These bullies and parents left the next day because I stood up for my son and straightened the school out also which the school principal end up resigning too. None dares to cross paths with me since that day as I have earned the name as the dragon lady. Never ever let anyone walk over you, be strong stand up for your kids and make the abusers quiver in their boots. They do it because they know they can. But also be smart and educate yourself with law enforcement too so you can get them charged as well. If you decide to relocate your child elsewhere then do so but begin them in martial arts anti bullying program. It will boost their confidence.

Need help
by: Anonymous

Is any one willing to talk to my Daughter in law she found her babysitters to be bulling her children and there own children so she found a new sitter now the people are really bulling the kids and having there kids bully hers , these people are very abusive towards my children and even there own , Help

Re teach them some harsh lessons wherever possible
by: Anonymous

Know the law called stalking and harassment with intent to physical barn and intimidate . Press charges by police complaint and after you do spread charge and court documents to the school to let the school know you WILL GET THE BULLIES DROWNED IN CRAP FOR TARGETING YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN.
Sociopaths need a sour pill and a heavy fine or Shame to digest before they get some brains .

writer of My outcome ... by: Anonymous
by: Jayne

It's a shame this site does not have dates on comments - I wrote my original comment many years ago, probably in 2012 - It's now May 2017. My daughter is now in secondary school - the other girl is in the Music School. My daughter need not have any further contact with our horrible neighbour. My daughter now has a whole new set of friends with only a couple from the old 'gang'. She's doing fine.
Me, on the other hand - not so well. My life is still being controlled by the woman upstairs. She went from befriending the mothers to teaching their children French - now the circle of women who dislike me and have changed attitude towards me is even wider. I also teach and this is hurting my work.

My biggest mistake was NOT going to the mothers in the first place to let them know that what she was saying is all lies. I cannot think of one thing I've done to deserve all this hatred towards me. The day I invited her to live above me is the day I ruined my life. I was always popular until the day she moved in. My character/my confidence has been greatly affected by the last years of pure jealousy from her. I urge anyone in my position to face it and have your say before it's too late. Don't make the same mistakes as me.

Just witnessed this myself.
by: Anonymous

My friend Miranda just moved to a new town and in a more wealthy neighborhood after she got a new job. I was shocked suburban ladies act this way! Just last week some friends and I went to visit and the nasty ladies were at a park making snide remarks. Oddly the oldest child involved was 8 and Miranda's oldest merely six!

After the kiddie pool closed and with the comfort of familiar faces Miranda had enough and confronted the queen bee. The result was the other women trying to make the bully mom apologize! They were not so tough. However this infuriated the bully mom who was in her late 30s compared to Miranda in her mid twenties. The children were off in other areas so the language this lady used was stunning!

The situation got worse as some fifth grade boys began a commentary (this was kind of funny) egged on Miranda and Nag ended up nose to nose and the woman's friends fell silent. The fifth grade boys got a show and I wasn't stepping in after hearing that hag talk.

Everyone including the kids could figure out what happened. The whole city knows! But after Miranda was through with that mom bully nobody says anything mean to her! I think the lady still has clumps of hair in the pool drains where she ended up crying for mercy after getting humiliated in a fight worthy of a MMA pay per view.

It is just a option though.

Adults who bully children are SICK!
by: Elle

Dear Annie,

When I saw your post, it made me feel like crying. Please let your poor son know that this is NOT his fault and he has NOT done anything to deserve it.

I know what it is like to be in a situation like this. I was bullied awfully at school, and it continued afterwards into adulthood. This bullying was done to me by kids at school, but was instigated by their parents. It was a situation very similar to what you describe.

All I know is that some people are filthy, dirty bullies and others are not. I think bullies have serious problems. In my case, the bullying initially involved 2 girls who were supposed to be my closest "friends", and spread to include other kids. Their behaviour towards me changed when I started doing well and getting top grades at school. I would be cold-shouldered, ostracised, talked about behind my back, called names like "swot" or "teacher's pet" and generally made to appear unpopular. Whenever teachers were around, the kids acted nice towards me so that nobody saw they were bullies. The worst bit is they bullied me and called me names because my mother is disabled. Imagine that? Bullying somebody because their mother is poorly. THAT is NOT what true friends do. Did I ask to have a poorly mother?

These kids accused me of "cheating" if I did well, and tried to claim that I must have a private tutor, because they did not think I could really be that clever. Even when I started deliberately dropping grades (in the hope they might view me as less of a "nerd") the bullying continued. And NOW it was actually worse, because if I did something wrong or made any mistakes, these kids would spread tales around about me and how "bad" I was. I got the sense that they actually LIKED seeing me drop grades at school - like it was what they wanted.

I know that their mothers were involved, because on some occasions these women actually said nasty things to me. One called my family "corny charity cases". Another (a woman who continued bullying me into adulthood) made the comment "why should she get on whilst my son gets left behind and loses out"! It was clear that the bullying was linked to my academic ability. Especially because ALL the kids who picked on me were NOT achieving. I have seen some of their school reports, and there were comments on them like "needs to revise more", "disorganised in class" and "he needs to learn to hand his homework in on time". The boy I am talking about FAILED all his high school qualifications, and the 2 girls I mentioned fared little better. By contrast, I got good grades in a wide range of subjects. But I never felt able to enjoy my success, because it was what lead to the bullying and name calling.

The bullying was verbal, and sometimes physical and started at Infant school but continued right up until I left school education to go to University. Because the focus was on my grades and academic ability, I felt that I was never allowed to "shine" and this made me feel nervous about showing that I was any good at anything. I was also teased for my appearance - called ugly and stuff. Girls who thought they were prettier than me excluded me from their groups. I can tell you, it's not nice to be labelled the "plain swot".

It got worst when we started dating. These kids spread false rumours, and when I had a secret crush on a boy, one of them went and told him. It was SO humiliating for me. And then they would say things to me like "Oh, he'll never be interested in you"! They made it clear that they thought me ugly. And they kept teasing me about my mother's disability, they would attempt to imply that it might afflict me too. That scared me, because I was already worried about my mother, and to think that I might inherit her illness was terrifying.

All I can say is that these kids got most of this gossip from their parents, who were saying similar things. I cannot wrap my head around how any adult can bully a child. It is utterly SICK! These adults should be sent to the POLICE and rounded up as criminals and abusers. To deliberately hurt a child is just vile and abusive, so I feel the POLICE should pay attention.

It sounds to me like these mothers have a real issue about your son. And I DO NOT think that it is just about what goes on when the kids play games. This is clearly about much more than that. If I were you, I would be considering whether it is about YOUR SON'S TALENTS AND ABILITIES. Is your son a high achiever? Is your son good at sport and in a sport team, or sport captain? Does your son get top grades? Is your son a prefect, school librarian or similar? Is your son talented musically, or artistically? I suspect that it is something that really makes your son "shine" that these mothers and their kids are really envious about, and THAT is why they are targeting your child. The rough and tumble game is just an excuse. The real issue will doubtless go far deeper.

Please consider what the real issue may be. Think about how you can protect and support your son. These wacko mothers will ALWAYS try to paint their own kids as "perfect" and "whiter than white". They may even be mentally ill, or disturbed on the quiet. There is some reason why they bully innocent kids. If the school is not capable of dealing with it, I suggest you take a record of what has gone on to the POLICE, because this is a serious issue.

Pack of bullying mothers
by: Anonymous

Hi - I a just experiencing this now. My son was invited to a leavers do camp over and then a week before I got phoned to say he was unvited, a danger and the other kids had all grown up together. I hung up and cried for the rest of the day. Later I got an unsolicited FB message from the cow arranging it saying he couldn't go as he was unpredictable and as they live on a farm it was dangerous - plus her girls best friends mum said she wouldnt go it my son went.
Thing is I took my son out of school for last few weeks as he was getting really upset about going to school. All the mothers presumed hed been excluded because of bad behaviour.
My son can be a pain in the arse in class and he doesnt focus but we're seeing an Ed Psychologist who thinks he may just be suffering from low self esteem. So this is the last thing he needs. He's also well liked by the teachers and is considered very to highly intelligent.
I've kicked off at school with letters of complaint and now their little shindig has been cancelled, but all the mums are rallying around each other for 'support'. I've kept myself to myself at school with just a hello, but 2 of them have had their kids round at my house and none of them died!
I can't help thinking some of it is bitchy jealousy. I've never encountered women like this during my career - only school and it does feel like I'm being back at school. I'd love to tell them what I think of them but I'm trying to rise above it. However they've started giving me dirty looks. I can't change schools as my other 2 kids are doing really well there. You'd think they would have some balance and see perhaps we have issues with just 1 child but the other 2 are fine. Which makes me think there's more to it? Witches cavern springs to mind. Totally shameful of them. I'm in two minds to take it to the national newspapers to highlight parent to child bullying. Disgusting. Love to all the parents and kids out there who are going through this - you're so much better than them xx

Confront all adults directly and request that this behavior stop immediately
by: Anonymous

Confront all adults and request them to immediately change their behavior. This is not about you it's their abuse of power and unfortunately you are the target. You are only a victim if you allow others to abuse you. Push back in a firm and respectful manner.

Parent is bullying my son
by: Anonymous

Wow... I so understand what you are going through. My son is a target of an angry parent. It all started when my 8th grade son friended a new kid at school this year. My son noticed that this boy didn't have any friends and thought he would be nice and invite the boy to sit with my son and his friends at lunch. My son's friends didn't like the new kid, but my son encouraged them that he was okay. The new kid had been homeschooled most of his life and was new to public schools, so he was a little bit immature compared to the other boys. My son and his friends were invited to the new kids' birthday party and had an okay time, even though they thought the party was a bit for younger kids. The new kids asked my son if he could spend the night and my son told him no, but the new kids didn't take no for an answer and came to me and asked if he could spend the night. I felt sorry for him because he didn't have many friends and thought that it would be okay. The night went fine, so we thought. A few days after the sleepover, my husband noticed that our boxing dummy that we have in the garage, throat had been slashed, nose cut off, ears cut and several stab marks on the chest. My son was questioned and told us that the new kid had done it was my husband's tools he found his toolbox. My son said that he asked him to stop several times, but the boy would not listen to him. My son was disciplined because he didn't get us to address the issue. I was very concerned about what had happened, I told my son he could no longer hang around this kid because of what he had done. I thought that I should contact the mother to let her know what happened. We had a cordial conversation and the boy admitted that he had done the damage to both her and I. The mother then told me that he was very destructive and that he had knives and he cut things up in their backyard. That made me even more concerned. She also said that they would pay for the damages. Later that same day, I received a text message from her saying that my son had encouraged her son to do this and that my son had also taken part in what happened. She also accused my husband and myself of bad parenting for not watching the boys 24/7 and that our tools (hammer, hand saw, boxcutter and small knife) should be locked up as someone would lock guns up. Mind you my son is 13 and a very responsible 13-year-old and her son is 14. I told her that I don't know anyone that locks their tools up that my son doesn't need 24/7 supervision. Apparently, she didn't like what I said, she proceeded to text me to say that she was blocking me and her son was blocking my son and to stop harassing them. I was totally fine with that, and we blocked them as well. A few days later an officer came to my home and said that this mom was accusing my son of doorbell ditching them. When the officer saw my son, she could see that he wasn't the boy in the doorbell video. The officer also told us that this mom is now accusing my son of bullying this lady's 6th grade daughter, who attends the same school. My son has never even spoken to this girl and hasn't spoken to the boy, since all of this happened. I have spoken to the principal and my son's teacher to let them know what is happening. My son is sick about all of this. He is a quiet, pleasant boy and his only fault is that he befriended a new boy that no one else wanted to be friends with and now has to deal with all of this. I am ready to file a lawsuit if the harassment doesn't end. Please comment if you have any suggestions for me. Thank you.

11 year old boys same issue.
by: Anonymous

It’s so sad to know other people have experienced this, I have two boys 11 and 8 they go to the small town school their dad went to (per divorce we settled on this school) however we had a horrible divorce and I was slandered and completely shunned from the town. I am the main parent my kids academically excel they are great kids they have great reports on behavior and classroom etiquette from teachers however this small group of parents who graduated with their father constantly have put my children in situations that are completely fabricated and deliberately excluded from. Since these are the pta moms and volunteers for recess my kids are constantly being lied on and punished and labeled as bad kids. It’s diminishing their confidence, not one person showed to their bday parties. The issue is only at recess in which they allow the kids to play football and if my son (who is really good and coaches took a liking too) gets a touch down or anything they fabricate stories. I have asked the school to not allow a contact sport at recess if they don’t have adequate staff. However, these parents caused an uproar during the football season bc of how often my son played and theirs didn’t and now those kids are the ones who constantly swear call him racial slurs put their hands on him and it’s always a Group against him. He has went to teachers he has told them but he is the only one who gets punished and it’s never a proper investigation it’s just these students against mine and the one’s mother who is the recess attendee. My boys look forward to recess as any parent knows the significance recess plays. My child is made to sit on a bench if one of the attending parents just doesn’t want to be bothered that day. He is constantly lied on and he’s a lot bigger then these kids he’s never put his hands on them I’ve went as far as recording to see the truth myself and I’m just heartbroken. Idk what to do I don’t want to switch schools and think we’re just running but my kids are prejudged and disliked by adults who have projected it on their kids. When other students are caught in lies and it’s been brought to light my son still has his privileges taken away and nothing is done. I’m feeling so crazy anymore I don’t even trust myself at their sporting events because I’m tired of watching and hearing adults bully my kids and then the school allows these people to run the sporting booster programs and chaperone recess as if this isn’t a conflict of interest. Please help idk what to do.

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