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Other Mother Bullying My Child
My son (11 years old) has been the target of a group of 3 mothers who have sons in his class at school. The three women are all friends, they are the type of women that you see at drop off in the car park gossiping long after the school bell has gone in the morning.
This all started when my son and his friend were involved in a conflict with the son of one of these 3 women. Her boy has always had social issues, is a known thug and bully. Right from prep his mother has always haunted the school hovering around him trying to control outcomes of any situations this child has got into. In her eyes he is never guilty of anything and is a complete angel.
The conflict was a verbal one initially between my son's friend and the other boy, my son stuck up for his friend and was verbally abused (very bad language). The boy pushed my son, and my son pushed him back. The boy then fell over and my son's friend tripped over him. My son then diffused the situation by walking away.
Since this incident the other boy has decided to focus all his anger and dislike at my son. So has his mother. She and her group of friends gossip together in front of their sons about how my son is the worst boy imaginable. Now he is an easy target and scapegoat for anything that happens in the school yard.
Worst of all her son is a large child much bigger than mine and he is an aggressive child if he doesn't get his way. Because my son is not easily intimidated and is quite a popular boy with the other kids in the group that makes this boy even more resentful and jealous. The boy has continually sworn at, pushed and disagreed with my son. He is no angel, he swears very badly and some of the things he has called my son are dreadful. Most of the time my son does not bother to tell me about it. In fact I only really know because I have had to ask his side of the story, however this other boy must tell his mother his own version of everything.
This boy is often a target for jokes within the group, as he is a large child and not that sharp. But then all of the boys tend to rib one another. They play a game called bull rush, like tiggy and as boys do they all egg and tease each other when it is their turn to be it. If my boy joins in, immediately the child takes offence and must report it however trivial to his mum. The most ironic part of it is that most of these instances have been initiated by one of the woman's gossip group mothers sons who is suppose to be the child's mate??? But once again my boy is painted the bad egg.
It all flared up when mother of this child wrote an A4 letter of complain regarding the situation between my son and hers? Then emailed it to all the mothers in the year level she considered allies. In the email she slandered my child with anything or instance she could gather from her son where my son might have disagreed with or said something to another child even when it was in a game situation such as touch or this bull rush game where they are all doing it to each other, to justify her own gripe. Apparently she then emailed this to the school.
The school had the kids in and talked to them. Apparently when this happened the real truth started to come out. That the accuser was actually responsible for much of the problem and my son was to an extend cleared of his accusations. This was not good enough for the mother of the boy and she continues to try to paint him the bully and finds reasons to pump other children about what is said and done to gather evidence against my son. She has even tried to personally intimidate him which is frightening.
This has had a huge effect on my son. One of the boys in the group wanted my son to go to his birthday party but then came to school and he told my son that it couldn't happen because his mum (she is friends with the other boys mother) didn't like my son. This was devastating to my son who does not even really know the woman. He was mortified to think a "grown up" who he has never given cause to didn't like him.
Next the mother stalked my boy in the car park pick up area. She parked her car in front of him and beeped the horn to get his attention, he looked at her and she continually eyeballed him till he moved up a bit, she then moved her car up to again be in front of him and eye ball him. She then wrote another A4 email to the school head complaining my son was disrespectful of her in the car park!??
On another occasion in the car park I was witness to her intimidation when unknown to her I was parked up from her waiting for my son when he walked over to my car he suddenly put his head down and started walking double quick to where I was parked in our car. I asked him what had caused that and he said "mum didn't you see her, she is parked a couple over from you and when I walked passed she started revving her engine."
My son has been so upset by all of this and it continues. The last straw is that a couple of weeks ago this woman rang our home very late at night on the weekend to personally tell me how bad my son is and that none of the other mothers like him and that he is generally a terrible child. I hung up on her and told her I would be contacting the police if she rang again. I also told her she should take it up with the school as she had initiated that line in the beginning, and in fact I would prefer the matter handled that way.
I contacted the school who are doing their best for all parties. Now however her friend the mother of another of these boys is complaining about my boy, again over minor playground incidents that are all in a game situation. The school have been very professional. They are fair and see it how it is and work with the boys appropriately to sort it out.
Unfortunately this certainly has had an effect on our family. We are devastated by the impact this woman continues to have.
It is basically all over a few things said in a group of boys in a game situation, these kids are 11 year old boys they all give and take comments to each other. In fact usually the next day they are all playing happily again. It is just a case of this woman and her little group of helicopter mums stirring the pot and discussing my son in a negative way in front of their sons at any chance they get.
I cannot wait till the end of the year. I don't know how to repair the damage already done and I am only thankful that our school at least is doing their best to contain things. I am appalled that grown adult women would act like this and cannot believe they could be so one eyed especially as their sons are quite often instigators of what happens. My boy will give as good as he gets and will stick up for himself, I am aware that he is no angel, however it really is a case of these other 3 women seeing their own child through rose coloured glasses.
It has become overwhelming.