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What Every Target of Workplace Bullying Needs to Know

School Doing Absolutely Nothing

I have been to the teacher, vice-principal, principal and even at the District School Board Level. I have asked that in no uncertain terms that this student be anywhere near my 7 year old daughter (the bully is 8 yrs old girl). It was even put in writing that it was understood this was going to be effective immediately (10 students separate them)and adult supervision in the playground. I went into the school to supervise that MY request be taken seriously and to my shock there is my daughter with the bully right behind her in their line up in the school with the teacher standing right there. There was no adult supervision at lunch time in the playground to make sure that the bullying was not taking place (no opportunity for the bully to get away with it). My daughter last night had both my shoulders in her hands staring me in the face crying and saying "Mommy please help me, please mommy help me".

I am at my wits end... The school now wants to get a "no trespassing" issued against me for standing there and observing and making sure that my daughter is safe. She liked the fact that I was there, plus I wanted to prove to her that I am trying to do something that I am visible to her that I am trying to help but I am being shut out. My next step is a Child Advocacy lawyer. I have never been so helpless to my daughter in all my life. I feel like I am letting her down and that the bully is being rewarded. Trying but losing patience by the minute!!! If I'm feeling this way I can't even imagine what my daughter is feeling.

Comments for School Doing Absolutely Nothing

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Anti-bully dvd program
by: Anonymous

I am a professional songwriter and music tutor.
I recently developed a Musical Performance Anti-bully DVD program for schools.
My program is for children aged between 7yrs old and 11yrs old and teaches them clearly what can be done to stop bullying in school. It allows children to take control of the anti-bully message in a very fun proactive way. The program brings both teacher/pupil relations closer as they work together in tackling this very serious issue.
The whole school approach of my program encourages children to send out the anti-bully message themselves through performance and song, as their confidence grows the children begin to realise just how important it actually is to speak up to your teacher at school and this confidence only increases with each performance of the anti-bully song.The stigma surrounding speaking up to your teacher at school suddenly becomes redundant as the children begin to talk and realise that they do actually have a choice. They are encouraged at all times throughout the dvd and reassured that it IS ok to speak up to your teacher at school.
I've included a link to my child safe website below which not only goes into detail about my anti-bully program but it also has many free resources/audio stories and a road safety music video that i made for the local police here in 2008 which are very useful resources to use in the classroom.
I hope this helps.
Kind regards,


Been There With My Daughter...
by: Anonymous

I had the same experience - false assurances, including the school trying to make me and my daughter look un-balanced and unstable.

So I tried a completely different tack and had some success!

[It is important to tell your daughter to speak freely about her problems with others - mine wanted to clam up because she was embarrassed, but I told her she had to be honest and fully discuss it.]

I called the school police liaison officer, who talked with my daughter about what happened and took a report.

I wrote a letter to the principal, the district supt. and the board of trustees, telling they must meet w/me within 3 days or I would forward the letter to the human interest journalist at our local paper. They invited me to a meeting w/in 24 hours, but I put it off until the 3rd day.

I kept my child home from school (reason left on the recorded absence voice mail machine: "Because my child is being abused at the school and no one will take action").

I also took my daughter to our doctor (who had been warned what was going on, and that he should check to signs of emotional distress). He wrote a letter indicating that my daughter was very distressed and felt trapped AND UNPROTECTED at school.

When I met with the school officials - they will try to outnumber you - I took a family member and a friend. I gave them a copy of THEIR bullying policy, a copy of the doctor's letter, and a book called 'Odd Girl Out'(which describes eloquently how girl bullying is emotional vs. physical).

I hope this works for you. Despite what the school is saying or implying THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU OR YOU DAUGHTER.

Good luck to you,

Victoria, BC

Getting control of the school's actions
by: Holly Beck, author Revenge of the Dorkoids-bully discussion book

My daughters were bullied. This is what I learned.

Understand the school's perspective. The push has to come from you so they can't be accused of discrimination toward faculty, staff, or other students.

Document bullying events. Time, date, place and who was around, witnesses.

Do your homework. Find out if there are state laws pertaining to school safety and what they are. These often are still very broad. If so they are probably covered by individual school, or district policy. Get a copy.

Create a paper trail. Document everything. When you meet with the school have them sign a statement of the meeting and who was there.

Write the school, district,school or state board about events and concerns. Keep a copy. Ask if they are required to keep and file all letters. If not, send them registered mail.

Ask if you can record meetings. Get a signature of permission or denial.

Ask them to be specific about what they can and can not do. Get a list of what they can do in writing.

One school offered to escort a student. Insist that this be before and after school, and from class to class. Insist this be a school employee. Not a child or some volunteer you have no reason to believe can deal with a problem. Accept offers like this as they become expensive and inconvenient. Document it. Ask your child if there were any gaps. (bathroom trips?) Keep a record.

If their solution does not work, go back. Ask for a further effort. Make them be specific. Repeat to them what you understand them to be promising you. Write this up and get their signature or start over. Document it if they won't sign.

If solutions can't be approved at one level go higher.

Eventually either your child will be safe or you will be able to show that they are unable or unwilling to keep your child safe. This may entitle you to compensation, or your tax monies to put toward private school.

The trick is to document everything, and to make the answers be specific.

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