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What Every Target of Workplace Bullying Needs to Know

The Product Of A Poisonous Town

by A Murphy

I have been bullied for over 6 years now. It all started when I decided to improve my life, confidence and self esteem. First I went to the gym, changed my hair style and got a tan on holiday. Unwanted attention followed and turned into false allegations about me being homosexual because I didn't conform to peoples expectations of sleeping around with anyone thrown in my way and having affairs, which to this date, have never done. Anyway, I moved away from all this and the rumours were then passed to my new colleagues in London.

I had enough of this and distanced myself from all these people. This wasn't enough and when I tried to move to London again these people went behind my back to get me a job and then proceeded to plant more false allegations about me personally and I left another job. This continued in every job I have had since and people have added some more onto all this.

I am now ill and suffering with low confidence and self-esteem which I cannot snap out of and no longer feel that I can work in this country. I have been branded a racist - FALSE, sexist - FALSE, someone who sets out to ruin other peoples lives - FALSE! My career is now finished due to these evil, nasty people who I never wanted in my life anyway.

Any suggestions would be appreciated but, unfortunately, it has gone beyond that and I am resigned to an unhappy life in the country where I as born and worked extremely hard in. The only way I see this poison being stopped is to move abroad and live a new life away from this hell. Unfortunately, I am not financially affluent and this maybe impossible. I cannot prove this and don't want this kind of trouble but I've lost everything and have had enough.

Comments for The Product Of A Poisonous Town

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Harrasment in the workplace
by: Darren

It's ironic, I have endured very similar circumstances to yourself over many years, from the age of 12 during school, to my current age 40. People would take the piss out of me all the time, make fun of my appearance, spread rumors all the time about my assumed homosexuality. My life was hell at school & work, I was kicked & tied down in the locker room by 12 adult men & had make up painted on my face. Obviously I'm not homosexual & if I were this would be really would be nobody's business.

Eventually I had to leave my Job because of the harassment etc. I developed Social Phobia, depression & Agoraphobia, I can no longer socialize effectively. Since that time I have never worked since the age of 25, currently I receive government benefits.

Where is the justice to this evil?

WOW! So similar!
by: Invisible Refugee

WOW! Your story sounds so much like mine! I am floored! As you have found, moving away doesn't help. What makes things worse is that everywhere you go, you hear TRITE people all around you say ignorant things like, "you can't run away from yourself" and "wherever you go, there you are" (blame the victim again!) Being surrounded with this everywhere you go in a society you cannot change makes it make you SICK. Add to that the constant suggestion by random people everywhere that you are "sick" because it's inherently YOUR problem & you are "attracting this abuse to yourself" Am I right, or what? This is EVERYWHERE, so going somewhere else will never make it go away. I found that even after TOTALLY disconnecting from ALL TRACES of previous lives THE SAME OUTRAGEOUS PATTERN STILL BEGAN ALL OVER AGAIN IN A TOTALLY NEW PLACE! So then you have the "cosmos"people who are EVERYWHERE poised to accuse you and any victim anytime anywhere of "ATTRACTING" things. This is why people commit suicide. This is why people kill people. People don't just "go off the deep end", "flip out for no apparent reason", etc., etc. If people don't stop creating the FAKE psychiatry that victimizes victims down into a totally hopeless abyss of powerlessness & invalidation, none of this will EVER change. Psychiatric designations are the REASON that this stuff continues endlessly, is found EVERYWHERE, and is ENCOURAGED. That psychiatric designations are intended for victims and not bullies should clue people in to the ulterior motives in that INDUSTRY. So, don't call yourself "sick". I know that right now your overwhelming feelings FEEL that way, but that is an absolutely NORMAL, HEALTHY REACTION to aberrant, disorderly, sick SOCIETAL behavior. I want to pass this on for many reasons. Let's encourage people (and ourselves) to stop the madness by focusing on the underlying true dynamics that allow this stuff to exist & let us demand that true recognition be achieved. First & foremost starting with self refusing to receive abusive designations (labels) that rob us of our true identity & freedoms to heal ourselves. This also inherently INVOLVES receptive audience from OTHER PEOPLE. THERE IS NO GETTING AWAY FROM THIS IN THE HEALING PROCESS. You cannot get there without the involvement of SOCIAL RECOGNITION. This has become so ridiculously hard to access in modern societies that 2 many people are walking around with piled up outrageous traumas. Scary. I think maybe bullies are people who got fed up & switched thier mode of behavior (from victim to bully) but how is it that everything in this world seems to justify bullies and further condemn victims? We need to stick together! BTW, are you married? ;)

You are OK
by: Joanie

Hi, I know what you are going through. It reminds of a a book I read once, "Blame the Victim".... I think that says it all....

Now about the people who spread the rumours, the lies, the gossip....I figure they must be the lowest form of humanity..and they do exist.

Even courts of law cannot convict on "heresay" only, yet this group of "vipers" and "liars" are at the work place, at home, neighbors etc....And the worst of it is people actually believe the lies!!!! How stupid are people these days? They do not know that they should meet a person for themselves and judge for themselves....But people that are "pathetic" and need to belong, will accept the lies to "fit in"....I guess you cold say , they sell their souls, instead of standing up for truth, or even carring about the truth. when a person, anyone has to tear down and destroy another's reputation, what does that say about them? Perhaps it's jealousy, because you live a good life and they don't. Whatever the reason, they are wrong. All of them....

I wish I was in your town to walk with you and stand with you....

It becomes so bad that you feel you can't go anywhere. This is letting them win. Know this! You are the sane one. You are the innocent one. They are tryiing to make you into a victim. They are ruthless and want to destroy you.

Don't let them! I am in a very similar position for the last 14 years....I will not hold my head in shame for their lies. I , as a matter of fact hold it high....
When in the company of the worst, I always look my best...This, I've noticed infuriates them...
And know, God sees all, and He knows who's lying, and He only protects the innocent. I do know this.

All the best, Be strong and couragous, Don't let them win!

Re. Product of a poisonous town.
by: Sarah

Yes, it's the same here really. I have been gossiped and lied about in my own community. I have been bullied ever since infant school in one way or another.
Part of the reason is I think I act and look a bit different from a lot of other people. I have unusual features, and am not very big for my age. Middle aged, a little 'quirky' looking and an eight stone something of a woman.
Also of a 'quiet' disposition, does not like confrontation. Does all that sound familiar to some people here?
I don't know. But it's a recipe for being a target. There might be some things I can change there, other I cannot.
The problem is, it only takes one sociopath or narcissist in the community to decide to single you out as a 'target' and the rest follow like sheep. That is very depressing really and doesn't give me much faith in other people.
I had to change schools due to bullying. Then I had to start leaving jobs once at work. I don't think leaving my community is going to do much good because wherever I go the same thing could happen in the new place.
So I just have to make the most of it, ignore the people who don't talk to me and just get on with life as best I can.
You can't run forever. In the end you just have to learn to fight back in one way or another.
However you sound like a 'targeted' individual to me in that these people are harrassing you by following you with their rumours and lies.
Hold your head high and realise that you are the innocent victim. You have nothing to be ashamed of.

Same Here
by: Anonymous

Can't believe these patterns all seem so familiar. I left my previous company not so much because of the mobbing. Private information shouldn't be disclosed to anyone these days. For one, the person asked may not think of anything serious, and unintentionally disclose some critical information. In my case, my address. So I was harassed there even after quitting my job. What's funny comes next. As I interviewed for jobs, I was asked by one of the company if I had interviewed for others. Wow and wow! This is how they got to know my next workplace. I should have realised that the interviewer was behaving fishy. So eventually, this is how rumours follow me to my new workplace. And the same pattern repeats. Like you all mentioned, we become less engaging to others and in society. So they have more to say. I've actually had enough and hope I can just get pass what they're doing. People pick on you because you're singled out. So try to find a group to back you up.

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