What Is Bullying?

by Sonya
(London, UK)

Be aware that if you are being bullied at work and raise concerns about that or challenge bullying attitude towards yourself, that you may well find yourself facing retaliatory allegations that you are bullying others.

This happened to me after 3 years of being bullied by senior management. I was given a new manager who was manipulated into bringing allegations of bullying against me.

One of her allegations which was brought at my disciplinary hearing was I had not expressed gratitude to her for allowances she had made for me and all the 'kindnesses' she had shown me, also that I had challenged the manner in which she spoke to me.

Although my previous concerns re senior management actions were uphold (I only raised concerns because their actions affected my job leaving me no choice but to protest) no disciplinary action was taken against those management. But you can imagine how quickly the disciplinary machine rolled into action against me because I bullied my manager by not expressing gratitude to her and for politely requesting she speak to me in a more polite manner.

Rather sadly to this day I believe that manager is convinced she was my victim and totally justified in bringing about procedures that cost me the job I had kept for 9 years and also my home of ten years.

Also sadly, she became a true victim when the culture she had colluded with turned on her once she had outlived her usefulness and she too was forced out for standing up to her management.

The comments on here often seem to be asking the question "What is bullying?". There are probably many different answers, but one of the underpinning elements has to be the abuse of power, and in my book there is one thing it is not and that is standing up for yourself and not allowing bullies to bully you.

Sorry this is so long, would be interested in anyone else's comments.