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What Every Target of Workplace Bullying Needs to Know

Whipping Boy Receptionist

by Desperate
(North Carolina)

I started this job right before the recession. At first I noticed it was my boss yelling at me all the time over the least little things. She pulled me in her office and proceeded to give me a twenty minute lecture about how she preferred staples over paperclips. I might understand it if she had told me first she preferred staples and then if I brought her something with a paperclip gave me a lecture.

This extended to other employees. My boss actually encouraged others to blame me for their mistakes. We have a third party billing company. If our customers use this company they get a discount on billing and this company guarantees payment to us.

I am not allowed to work with this company. (because I'm so, you know, "incompetent") My co-worker had a customer who used this third party billing company. She got an order from a customer, and then got an approval number from this third party billing group. Later that same day the customer calls and cancels the order. This employee is then supposed to call 3rd party group and cancel the approval number and then cancel the order in our computer system. She did neither and I wouldn't be allowed to cancel these orders because, you know, I am so "incompetent". However, at the end of the day it is my job to take all the paperwork back to accounting, this includes voids.

So two weeks later when 3rd party billing group calls to complain, I hear my boss telling the other employee that it must be ME... that I must have thrown the paperwork away and therefore it is all my fault. She wouldn't have even given me the paperwork until she canceled it. The fact that it wasn't canceled in our computer system or with the third party billing group is evidence that SHE didn't do it.

And on and on... I have many stories like these.

My problem is I know that there is no recourse. It's a family owned business and I have tried to talk about my bosses behavior with the owner but it's daddy's little girl and no matter how polite I am about it he always takes offense. I have NO self esteem. I need to leave here I'm scared to death about what kind of reference these people are going to give me. Yes I have a bad attitude now. Every time I hear my name being mentioned I jump on the defense. I try not to socialize with other employees. I try to just keep to myself. I'm paranoid all the time. If I am fortunate enough to leave how do I NOT carry this negativity to my future workplace. Help please.

Comments for Whipping Boy Receptionist

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whipping boy
by: lixxynjq

Are you male (as in title whipping boy?) or female?

It is unusual for reception positions to be held by males; they could be but I never saw it. (that's just an aside)

As to getting blame for another's error; they can try to blame but if the facts don't really point to such conclusion; it is all opinion and don't sweat it.

As to the staples vs paper clips thing…make with some humor…if possible. If not; WHO CARES. She or he is so 'non busy' she has time to lecture on a paper clip vs a staple in paper…well; just listen and nod and at home; laugh your head off. Don't even bother to argue.

As to how you will go on without recommendation? DON'T WORRY about recommendation; most businesses don't give it anyway. Just leave and tell next employer you did not feel you
could give to the full potential you had so you left.

Get hired before quitting if possible, if not possible and you can't take it…quit. That's all there is to it. QUIT. Don't look back. (why stay with lunatics)

21 Days
by: Anonymous in Kansas

It is really exhausting to hear so many tragic stories about the human condition. It is difficult to find work and people who are sane and reasonable.
Today 7 out of 10 Americans are on some sort of drug, and it is known many of those drugs damage brain cells forever. If a boss is on psychiatric drugs, you don't stand a chance. I have learned that today many bullying people are the product of all the medications they take, so I don't take things so personally. And trust me, I try to avoid them like the plague. But of course, that is not always possible. If you could take a break between the old job and a new job, I was told years ago that a person can heal (but not forget) in 21 days--something in the psyche helps us sooth the soul in that length of time for any loss or difficult situation. Treat yourself well, even in simple ways, and reach for a better tomorrow. It is out there if you seek.

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