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What Every Target of Workplace Bullying Needs to Know

Workplace Bullying — My 5 Stages of Grief

If someone told me that mobbing happens at a Mental Health Center, I wouldn't have believed them (until it happened to me). I've been told that I go above and beyond to help others.

Denial:

A supervisor (not mine in the beginning)- every day he'd say something cruel. I ignored it. Over time though, I realized he was directing it at me. I knew our manager liked this man, I reasoned he's not my boss, so let it go, be kind.

Anger:

He kept it up for about three months. Staff changed and he became my supervisor. I was so stressed that I didn't want to come in to work because of his next cruel remark(s). It came to a head when I sent him an email. He said something angry about it and I asked him loudly, if he could do his job. That was his chance, he took it and ran with it. He made himself out to be the hurt one and got other staff on board with him. Sympathy abounded for this man, with others hugging/supporting him. The heat intensified.

Bargaining:

I didn't want it to get more out of hand. This supervisor seemed nice to everyone else. I reasoned that perhaps I was too rash, maybe too sensitive.

I didn't say anything to anyone, kept quiet and did my best to be kind and accommodating. I hoped things would change, they didn't. Supervisor began to gossip to more people in the building, and was comfortable sharing his distaste with our manager—impunity for him. What kind of man would do that?

Depression:

This hit me after I left. I loved my job, but I had no one in authority to turn to, and I couldn't stay and deal with the daily abuse. My family is the reason for my survival. Emotions are intense when you go through something like this. I got help from EAP as well, but it was my supports that got me through some tough months.

Acceptance:

It's been five months now since leaving. I don't blame myself for what happened anymore. I'm grateful that I didn't do anything that I'd regret, or hurt my loved ones. I still have triggers, it wasn't easy. I still don't know what brought it on, and I probably never will now. But that's okay, I've wasted enough time on this garbage.

Whoever reads this, don't give up, they're not worth your next breath.

Comments for Workplace Bullying — My 5 Stages of Grief

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I'm at acceptance
by: Anonymous

I'm glad you got to acceptance; it's hard to do but it's ultimately the healthiest place to be. The anger eventually subsides.

To the employer: Was it worth it? Your team is gone now, everyone resigned, and you didn't even save the bully. You may have saved yourself a few $1,000 in unemployment benefits payouts but you're on the hook for over $500,000 of staffing and training costs. That, and your project was stalled so long that it still stands sabotaged and incomplete. You have zero experience left in your org so enjoy your painfully slow project restart. Was it worth it?

That's my acceptance. I don't need to "win" because they've already lost everything. I hope everyone here gets to a similar place so they can heal and move on.

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