If you make a purchase via a link on this site, I may receive a small commission, and as an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. See the Disclosure page
for more information. Thank you!
Be "Mystery" As Much As Possible
by Anonymous NJ
Everything matters when we live in a morally subjective culture and a high tech one. "The walls have ears" (that saying was around even before computers; it's meaning is that no conversation between co-workers or a customer or 'the boss' goes un-heard where it counts for or against you.
So; be a sincerely helpful WORKER and know that you are 'just' a worker. (and remember; where money is - you do not have 'friends' in the workplace) Friendly acquaintances perhaps. This includes 'fraternizing' after work on Friday's at the local watering hole. (Every word said in confidence (a gripe, a thought) will be heard and humans being humans...they will repeat it where they should not "innocently" perhaps (or perhaps not). Don't hang out with those you work with and if at times you have to (to be one with) LISTEN and say NOTHING about WORKING. (religious reference again: Judas handed Christ over for a bag of gold; all he thought he was doing, perhaps was repeat the words Jesus shared with him; but he shared it with wrong minds who didn't understand 'the person.'
They can't hang you; if they have nothing to hang with. Keep talk light and business only. That goes for the male and female fraternizing.
Also, if you work with access to a computer on desk, NEVER browse the internet or type your emails on your lunch break. It might be under your password; but the browsing history is there. If you look up political sites, if you look up conservative sites, if you read the news on msn.com ...'they' in charge know what you are reading. (and you reveal who you are... liberal, conservative, and just that you had time to do that; while not working.)
They won't say anything; because 'they can't' (the fear for legalese). But, they will attempt to make your life MISERABLE. (It's cheaper for a business to make you quit.) If you don't quit, they will keep hounding your every waking moment til you 'break' with tears... YES; I believe now this is possibly a reason for bullying but not the only reason.
There is the reason of human arrogance and insecurity when work is very little because computers do it so fast. There is the reason of office politics 'gone haywire' co-workers don't just 'brown nose' the bosses anymore, they get ahead by SQUASHING their competition. (making you the co worker squirm at their taunts) Yes, the world is NASTY...when money is involved.
Remain MYSTERY as much as possible. As each successive year passes and you put forth 100 percent LOYALTY to an employer...
1. If you are so loyal to employer, be assured you aren't going to be liked amongst the general populus also workers like you. (well; you might be with some also like you... but most workers fretting over the bills they have; aren't going to like the 'goody goody' UNLESS you somehow 'teach them' how to also do the good and gain a sense of recognition from boss. (open honest and ethical; worker... there to HELP objectively for a common good... sounds great; but not easy... someone is going to 'hate you' if you do the good, and hate even more if you are 'winning other workers' to your way. (easiest method of most workers is to slack off and just get by...and be not a threat to any)
2. If you have reached a longevity with a firm... STILL you must AVOID personal conversing. Do not eat in the lunch room. Small, medium or large. It starts off with "what are you eating" and ends up "gossip session" with one probing and fishing for facts about you. STAY CLEAR.
3. Come in 10 min early at start of day, to hang up coat, look thru what must be done on desk, and MAYBE say a Hi how are you to the one sitting around you. DO NOT do anything more than say Hi. Don't make personal calls; they are recorded (or the numbers are at least) Don't make personal emails, don't browse anything ANYTHING ... especially sites that write of 'bullying' in an office.
BE MYSTERY... AND NEVER GIVE OPINIONS.
But don't be a silent Cal... saying nothing. If you do encounter a bully with nasty on his or her lips. Speak up gracefully and honestly. ie: "whoa...excuse me, what did I do to deserve that?" Put it right back at them in the form of a question not a statement. What did I do to incur your wrath? This puts them on the spot as they might have been mad 'at someone else' and used you, or had an argument at home and are using you. When you state a question "what did I do to incur that 'wrath' in your voice...you are innocently WAKING THEM UP to the words they don't hear themselves saying. Never 'yell back' say the question with a smile, and ask it anytime they are less than respectful. (maybe with different words; but ASK... hey; did I deserve that?) You are worker, you have to know your place; but you won't get in trouble if you ask. You will get in trouble if you speak in such way...you sound SMARTER than the 'jerk' in front of you.
In asking "did I deserve that?" you are psychologically saying you know they have more 'power' so 'explain to me a simple worker' WITHOUT saying it as such. If you get an answer; you might be beginning to win them over, if they can't respond to their 'tone' / BEWARE... for they are showing who they are. I made the mistake of asking "why that tone?" which indirectly made 'them' feel I was pointing 'at them' (and their guilt knew I was right) They in the power; once I worker show them to be LESS than the stellar person they want to be seen as, in their power... will NEVER be able to work with me again... management doesn't understand forgiveness and going forward as worker servants do. Let THEM save face and you may be saved 'the ax' / Let them get angry and humbly ask "did I deserve that?" or "what can I do to improve and make you happy?" "Tell me what you want me to do, from this point forward" or something of this effect.
Why that tone? is merely pointing at and casting judgment on their actions. (AND you, worker, lost the battle of gaining any form of relating after that) They would rather terminate you; then say "I'm sorry" or "admit their guilt" (saying sorry to management is to admit a less than perfectness in them) They can't be seen as weak. It would make their command they are in charge of weak. For this reason; management authority backs one another up. Ironically, workers 'fight amongst themselves' and don't help one another.
Workers don't protect each other they fight each other; for place and position and dollars and eventually even the nasty folk ARE OUT. Management authority represents God... do as you ought in respect to THE GOD who put them in their position; and you will win approval BY THEM. (no matter what they are like)
They know they were wrong... but you will NEVER get any person in management to say it to JUST a worker. Sometimes, rightly so, if they lose 'command' they fear others will run roughshod over them. WORKERS must know their place and know what 'knowing their place' means.
YOU are 'the lowest' on totem pole and YOU must never, never, never POINT at any supervisor, manager, or exec or 'the policy' of a company. Be aware, 'nasties' in the workplace will attempt to make you do JUST THAT.
If you do; you will be OUT.
And; since 'the world' is liberal of mind; strip bumper sticker philosophies from the car, use the computer on desk STRICTLY for work, take your name from all social media sites (less known about you and even where you last worked THE BETTER for your cause of working THE NEW JOB). Avoid the lunch room, and don't talk high minded ideals. (save it for your home) The world does not like GOODNESS. (be honest, open to another worker, but know HOW to say it) Never come off as being 'right' to their wrong. Be humble and put them first ALWAYS; in speech and actions. WHEW... yes it can make a soul tremble.