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Is This Female Colleague Sexually Harassing Me?
I can't believe I am posting something so personal as I am a very private person, but this is so upsetting to me I don't think I can discuss this verbally with anyone. On September 1st this year this 55year old short like 5ft2 skinny freckled face creepy green eyes thin lips red haired masculine woman started working at my workplace.
She started touching me on her third day. She said that she likes to caress satin fabric and that silk and satin is so smooth to the touch when rubbing. She said that she just can't resist touching and stroking satin fabric. She always touches me, hugs me, holds my hand, places her arm around my waist. She gives me random hugs all the time pressing her face on my breasts. This woman is constantly rubbing my back, touching my hair.
I wouldn't be as grossed out if she did it to everybody else but she's always doing it to me! I wouldn't say I'm that close to her and she's hard to avoid since her office is next to mine. She puts her arms around me when we're standing side-by-side and talking and she randomly comes by at my office and gives me shoulder and back massages. But all the touching has been getting creepy. She is extremely touchy and feely with me. Now she knows I am heterosexual woman but that doesn't seem to deter her from rubbing on my back or arms, pressing herself into me and generally being borderline innapropriate at times.
She seems harmless to me because I am physically stronger than her I am 5ft10 tall well built well endowed and curvy. She is like 5ft2 tall skinny. I am always on high heels she is always in flat shoes. Standing next to me she looks like a midget. I am 5ft10 foot tall and being well endowed well built and curvy always on high heels makes me HUGE!
The other day I was in a mall with my daughter and this little boy pointed at me and said something like: "Gosh mom, look at her, she is giant!!!". I am a 42year old 5ft10 tall heterosexual curvy hourglass shaped attractive brunette. I like dressing well, and looking presentable. I don't dress slutty at all. My boobs are 32 f bra size though and I do have a big butt. My hourglass shape is unique and I am tall, and I appreciate that. If you are curvy, tall and busty, many clothes tend to look sexier on you than on a thin person. So things that fit properly that are relatively conservative can be suddenly too revealing and sexy when you put it on. This happens to me a lot.
I wear almost always my satin and silk blouses fully buttoned to the top combined with a satin skirt or satin pants. I prefer wearing satin pants and a little shorter satin skirts, always above knees, sometimes even quite much, but not any miniskirts anyway. I am always on high heels and full make up on. I am always in tight form fitting satin and silk clothes. I am a stylish person. I usually stay away from anything too revealing.
I am describing myself because I want you to know the complexity of the situation. I have no desire to do anything sexual with a women. I am 100% straight. Even the thought of eating out a vagina makes me gag. I've never had any desire to do anything sexual with a female. In all honesty just thinking about possibly kissing a female makes me cringe.
She finds any excuse to touch me. The other day she hugged me from behind when I was sitting down and stroked my collar bones before moving to my shoulders. She leans over me when I show her something on the computer screen. She is not very aware of personal space, she tends to stand very close and walk so close that she can trip me, she also always puts her face very close to my breasts. She always links arms with me and walks leaning into me.
She isn't a horrible woman she is really very pleasant but something about her and her need to hug or touch me makes me very uncomfortable. This woman is being unnecessarily touchy-feely. She is always constantly patting my lower back and touching my hair. She tends to stand really close – it’s like she doesn’t seem to respect my personal space.
It is getting very uncomfortable. How do I tell her off without causing tension at work? The other day she needed to ask me a question. My client and I were so engrossed on our project that neither of us noticed her walk in. She put her both hands around my waist to get my attention. Then she kept her hands there until I finished my answer to her. I felt awkward about it, but didn't want to say or do anything in front of the client. A half-hour later I felt it was too weird to bring it up, so I just let it go.
She would touch me a lot on my hands, shoulders and back when discussing work-related topics. One time at her office we were working on something. I started to rise from the chair while she was still sitting, and she then reached over and squeezed my butt about four or five times quickly. I pulled away, but it took me by such surprise I didn't know what to do, and I actually laughed, even though that was the last thing I felt like doing.
Also she is constantly 'accidentally' brushing her face against my breasts while walking by me or when we are engaged in a task. I don't want to offend her. Even though I'm the permanent employee she does have a little "power" over me. She can muck things up for my clients and I, walk away scott-free, and make me clean-up the "mess." I don't know her very well (she's not my direct employee) and don't want to push any sensitive buttons.
She gets along with other female employees like the bookkeeper, sales managers, and owner (it is all female workplace). She could say that I created a hostile environment and doesn't feel like coming into work. There will be a big HR interview (involving the main office) and an investigation. Then the women will still look at me like I'm the one with the problem! I've seen it happen before. I've got to be careful and handle this gracefully.
Also she doesn't look threatening. She is creepy and ugly but she is tiny, short and skinny mature woman. Standing next to me she looks like a midget. She is always hugging me around my waist. Sometimes several hugs in a row. She also always places her hand on my hip at the side when I stand beside her.