Led Into a Trap Without Knowing It

by Ronnie
(Saskatchewan, Canada)

I finally found a workplace that I thought was it.

The pay was good, the atmosphere seemed welcoming I always arrived with a positive attitude and a smile on my face.

It's too bad I didn't see the red flags when I started.

I heard from day 1 how bad and lazy their old truck driver was who, funny thing, transferred to another location and he himself informed me that it was because of the toxic environment and human resources was well aware of as they like to call it "toxic communication ".

As a truck driver I've enjoyed working alone but I'm not opposed to team work either and enjoy working in a positive work environment.

After about a year of being employed I began noticing some of my fellow coworkers were acting different.

One in particular who I got along with extremely well. we talked and shared personal details and I often went to him for advice because I respected him so. until one day I was unsure where to park my truck as there was other trucks coming to be unloaded.

I jumped out to go ask with a smile on my face, but was met with swearing and ignorant degrading tones.
I never did find out where to park and left that day after telling my manager about the incident while having a small breakdown and becoming emotional.

He said it's busy season (which it wasn't but whatever) and I remember him telling me when I started that some people can get stressed out at times here and that tempers flare. I didn't realize that meant being talked to like a tool rather than a person. This was the beginning to a road I only discovered after suffering the worst experience of my life.

After this experience I kept my distance from this worker and only dealt with him when I needed to.

But I found whenever I was forced to work with him I was met with degrading comments and absurd instructions. One time of a great example was when I was working along side of him and we began hooking up a trailer to a pickup truck.

Now he was hooking up the chains and lights when all of a sudden he barked at me to help and do something in a very uncultured way. To say I was more than confused as this in my mind and I'm pretty sure anyone that has ever hooked up a trailer knows the electric plug, chains and landing gear being all right at where the hitch is this makes it a one person job as if I start cranking down the jack it would literally be hitting him.

Moving on to my last straw incident that has left me traumatized and unable to return and I feel no one in my organization realizes what truly transpired and they don't care to either.

There are so many things that led up to my final breakdown but ill try to be brief with each.

I was given a iPhone for truck log purposes which is a struggle of its own for a guy that only ever had 1 iPhone nearly 20 years ago and has only known androids since.

I had holidays booked and was asked if I could come in for them if need be but I declined as normally I say no problem because twice this summer I had come in during booked off time because I was able to. But I refused this time and grudges be held.

The gossiping between management and employees led to this worker believing in was failing in my role and there was gossip.

Anyway I arrived in the morning and when I ask a simple question about the plan for the day I was told it's in the whats app (funny story the what's app is not the way I get information but whatever).

I realized my phone was charging in my car until I was to head out.

But this didn't sit well with this worker and because of gossip he heard about an event where I missed a text because of my unfamiliarity with ios systems ie my iPhone.

So he huffs up and with the most ignorant antagonist tone in front of multiple employees and my manager (I also found out later his manager was also present and heard the entire thing and he told me later he thought my manager was going to jump in and stop this horrible unprovoked unprofessional not deemed in any fact other than his own opinion).

He says, That's enough someone has to say something this is ridiculous. You are to be here at 8 o'clock ready to go. (Let me be sure to include this workplace is far from being organized and timely and thats ok it's what made the work atmosphere so relaxed)

It's hard to remember the exact words now but essentially he was explaining to me what a horrible employee I was in front of all these people. I have been told how good I am many times here and I do take pride in my work but no one seemed the need to stop this ignorant berating of myself.

I walked out without saying anything more and went about my day thinking surely someone will let him know what he did was not only uncalled for but not true and he needs to not try to run the show. But they didn't and it led to a final confrontation where I asked a simple question days later and I will never forget the way he said it or the way he looked at me.

I simply asked the plans for the following day since he was in the process of criticizing the company on how inefficient they are by not doing things efficiently with the dispatching of trucks. He glared at me and with daggers in his eyes he says, "It's in the what's app check your whats app". The tone in which he used left me terrified.

The next day I had a complete breakdown in front of another manager and employees at another location which in itself was so embarrassing.

But I got some information from the manager there that led me to a crisis line which led to involving HR and unfortunately my inability to deal with the events and I took time off.

To say my employer has not handled this correctly is an understatement.

After 2 weeks of hearing nothing I called to check in. Nothing even begun. After almost 5 weeks I was the investigation was completed and when I asked what steps have been taken to ensure my safety I was told I would just have to trust them.

I'm sorry but my trust level went out the window when I found out behavior like this has been noted here before and a fellow truck driver left because of it.

Now in my mind the management should be well aware of this type of behavior and should definitely deal with it when it arises right in front of them and there was 2 levels of management that witnessed this who not only ignored it when it happened and after but in my mind because of their inaction on the matter this employee believed his actions were justified and his behavior was appropriate which led to his terrifying final confrontation with me.

I have been talking with a therapist and my doctor and if there is a road block I've hit it.

My HR has been sure to only phone me and not use any other methods of communication which because of the state I was an still am in I find myself misunderstanding things, being confused about what I'm being told and just plain not the same.

I feel broken and every time I start to feel better I get knocked down by something.

A phone call from HR who tells me to get ready for coming back to work on this date. And I'm consumed once again because work seems to know something I do not because they say, "hasn't disability informed you of this?"

Disability didn't inform me because they didn't decide that but let me tell you the 23rd of December was a shitty time to tell me I was being expected to return after the new year. For almost 3 weeks I couldn't bring myself to call disability to talk to them about it and when they finally called me to check how things were and to see if I was going to need to go on long term disability I think they understood my anxiety because disability said they should not have done that.

Anyway now disability is going to work with me to try to set up a return to work ideas which is what I thought HR was going to do and HR just said we did what we did you will have to trust us.

I'm sorry not good enough.

I am pretty certain I will not be able to return because the talking and gossip will always have me on edge and to top it off there has been no apologies by anyone.

This job was the best paying, best time off, great benefits, great RRSP plan and just no pressure other than a few weeks in the spring and fall.
I don't want to lose this job without some form of compensation for all that I've been put through.

But in order to proceed with legal avenues I'm told I have to return and give them the opportunity to see if what HR has done has improved the environment.

Being this isn't an isolated incident, being management was present and did nothing during or after which in my mind is horrendous because management is supposed to understand and know how to deal with these situations and they sure failed at that. I'm going crazy trying to imagine returning to a place that already had toxic roots which didn't get better last time. Correction: the first year of my work was amazing filled thanks for going the extra mile messages and positivity, other than when anyone found a reason to put down a truck driver that came for a delivery or to explain how the last trucker was good riddance because he sucked so bad.

Guessing I'm exactly that in their minds now just a bad lazy trucker.

And I know their next truck driver will probably suffer just as I did and I don't want to be him again.

I gave to much it became expected and I'm the one to pay the price.

It sure doesn't seem fair.