Over 20 Years and a Move Halfway Across Canada, the Mobbing Persists

The boss was a regular church-goer, someone with season tickets to the symphony, always impeccably dressed and groomed, life of the party at social functions.

Nothing wrong with any of those things, but what's behind her mask is downright ugly.

It started over twenty years ago while doing secretarial work for a health care organization. The boss was real adept at a/ feigning leadership qualities and b/ schmoozing to the higher ups. She was in charge of dozens of underlings, yet wouldn't have been intellectually capable of sitting down at a desk and performing our jobs with any real degree of proficiency.

We were required by the organization to fill out surveys regarding workplace satisfaction. I pointed out in the (supposedly anonymous) survey that the laziest and least capable of my co-workers were perceived by the boss as being cream of the crop - the reason being that they constantly sucked up to her. I also pointed out that the boss, as stated above, wouldn't be capable of performing our jobs in a competent fashion. She was all show - all hat and no cattle.

Within a matter of weeks after submitting the survey, the boss's office was relocated to a new site, and she was given a new job title. In theory, still our boss, but in practical terms, much had changed. She was given extra duties, while in terms of our department specifically, she was more hands off, more simply administrative.

Coincidence?

Even before the survey, and in spite of my best efforts to get along with her, I think she gleaned that I saw through her facade. But when her job title got changed and she was turfed to another site, I became THE ENEMY.

Co-workers whom I had considered good friends suddenly became aloof and distant; work related policy changes were not conveyed to me; information that I required in order to properly do my job was withheld; co-workers would whisper 'hello' while walking past my cubicle, and if I didn't hear the whisper, they accused me of snubbing them.

She has cultivated a multitude of shills, one of the more prolific being a psychiatrist - a man who worked in the same (huge) building as me, but to whom I had probably never spoken more than ten words - ever. I was never a patient of his. I did work in his office once for half a day, and over the course of that half day, there were no problems or drama whatsoever. All was calm and professional.

What happened was this: I applied for a lateral move within the organization, hoping to work in the psychiatrist's office. I was told I had the job, but on Day #1, while in training, and right after lunch break, Human Resources called to say there had been an error, and I never should have been given the new job. I had to go back to my old job.

Covert machinations I strongly suspect were behind the 'error': On the morning I was training for the new job, the instigator got in touch with the psychiatrist and told him a pack of terrifying lies about me. Then he got in touch with HR and told them he wanted me out of his office.

I once walked into a shoe store; said psychiatrist was standing on the opposite side of the store. On seeing me, a look of terror crossed his face, and he all but tripped over himself to put even more distance between the two of us. Calmly, as is me, I simply observed his ridiculous behavior.

But what a coups for her to get him on board right out of the gate; who's not going to believe a psychiatrist?!

On another occasion, I was as calm and cooperative as could be while an endodontist friend of hers butchered me in his chair. He then sent a letter to my regular dentist stating that he didn't want me anymore as a patient (as if I would want to be) - the implication being that I had been a problem. He also gave written instructions to my regular dentist to put a crown on top of a cracked tooth. (I did subsequently become a patient of a competent and ethical endodontist who put the kibosh on that ridiculous notion.)

Over the years, I did manage to make several lateral moves within the organization - to no avail. The (unwarranted) bad reputation preceded me at every one of the new jobs.

Finally, I left the organization altogether and started working in a retail store. For the first six months, things were relatively okay. But then the owner of the store retired, and a new guy took over. As (bad) luck would have it, the new owner was extremely good friends with the instigator of the mobbing campaign. With the help of other employees as well as select 'customers,' the new store manager goaded me in various ways and tried to sabotage my work. It seemed like he was desperate to prove to himself that his friend's nastiness was justified. He even hired a spy to work at the store who tried to ingratiate himself with me. (Trust me, it was blatant.)

I must say, I did a pretty darn good job of not taking the bait.

I then moved halfway across Canada. I currently work in retail.

Outlandish as this sounds, I swear it's true: The mobbing campaign continues to negatively impact my health care. Contrived behavior is the order of the day from medical doctors, podiatrists, dentists, physiotherapists or any other health care provider from whom I have occasion to seek help.

For example, subsequent to moving, I saw a GP at a walk-in clinic whom I had never, ever encountered before. He was unfathomably belligerent with me. In a futile attempt to garner some courteous behavior from him, I mentioned that I am a Mensan and that I have been published in newspapers and magazines. In his report (which I have seen with my own eyes), he mentioned a/ that I was calm and soft-spoken and b/ that I had told him I was a Mensan who had been published in newspapers and magazines. He then went on in his note to say "I can find no evidence of this."

(I could have given him the names of the publications if he had truly been interested in confirming my assertions. I could have also shown him my Mensa membership card.)

Someone later pointed out to me that he was probably implying that I was delusional.

So where did he get that notion when he had never, ever met me prior to my visit at the clinic????????

(My reason for seeing him was that I was concerned about my cognition. He felt it was simply stress related due to such things as my recent move as well as a good friend having recently passed away. On that account, he was correct. Symptoms have long since resolved.)

Another time, a little over a year ago, I started seeing a psychotherapist. The therapist is someone I knew decades ago as a child (and had always admired), but she assured me that our (long, long ago) history wouldn't matter and that she would take me on as a client. She also knew I was driving a long distance to see her.

I can guarantee you I was never anything other than pleasant and cooperative with her and her staff. But I hadn't had very many visits at all, when out of the blue she decided she couldn't be my therapist anymore - with arms folded across her chest, citing our 'history' (which had been discussed at the outset) as well as the distance I had to drive to see her (also discussed at the outset). When I left her office that sunny, winter day, there were two humongous snow plow trucks taking up most of the already pristine, teeny tiny parking lot. I navigated around the trucks but was apprehensive about making a right hand turn from the parking lot out into the street, as to my left, there was a woman just sitting in her car in the middle of the road - looking at me defensively with terror in her face. I calmly, finally, turned out into the roadway and proceeded on my way home. No volatility or road rage - as per usual.

Another instance: Several months ago, I had a molar removed by an oral surgeon. I've never been a Nervous Nellie in a dental setting, and that appointment was no exception. But I could see the terror in the surgeon's eyes when he first looked at me. There were about six staff members gathered around the chair when my tooth was yanked out.

All went fine. Payment was made, in full, on the spot.

A few months ago, I asked my regular dentist to re-refer me to the same oral surgeon for a separate matter, and he agreed to do so. After weeks of not hearing anything, I called the oral surgeon's office. The receptionist said, "We are setting up those appointments today and we'll call you this afternoon." Never heard anything. Questioned my regular dentist about it but didn't get a sensible reply. Currently not receiving the level of dental care I require.

There are many more examples of health care providers being terrified of me and providing suboptimal care, in spite of my calm, cooperative demeanor, simply because they chose to drink the Kool-Aid - too many examples to go into in this space.

A few things I've learned over the past twenty plus years:

1/ Human gullibility is practically boundless.

2/ Peer pressure rules. With the slightest amount of encouragement, folks will hop on board a bandwagon of persecution - because to not participate in said persecution would risk falling out of favor with one's tribe.

3/ All a troublemaker has to do to ruin someone's life is spread lies. "Watch out for Jane Doe; she's a loose cannon; she's dangerous." Those types of lies are powerful. It's about the human need for self-preservation and protection; hence, the lies are automatically believed.

Perhaps Albert Einstein said it best: "Small is the number of them that see with their own eyes and feel with their own hearts."