What Every Target of Workplace Bullying Needs to Know

Dodge Ball Bully

by Albert
(Orange County, California, USA)

My son started having problems with a particular kid in camp this spring break. I guess the kid singled out my son because my son is quiet and awkward. He's an outstanding student and extremely well behaved, but tends to be quiet and a loner (target). This kid was just being plain mean, mostly name-calling, so I told my son to stay away from him.

Then when school resumed, the kid taunted and name-called on rare occasion, but the two largely avoided one another. There was never cause enough for my son to even mention their interactions over the past months.

That is until a few days ago, when they were both playing dodge ball at lunchtime recess. They were both standing outside the circle very near one another. The bully tagged someone with the ball, so he was allowed to go into the circle. My son, who had the ball in his hand, quickly, and wisely tagged the bully with the ball just as he started to enter the circle. The kid was understandably upset at being tagged out so quickly with the ball, and when he saw it was my son who had tagged him out, he decided to take action. He went to tell the lunch-recess monitor, who took the bully at his word, did not do any fact finding, and simply told my son to behave himself and not throw the ball at people who were outside of the circle. My son simply acquiesced without admitting guilt, but I guess his fault was not to deny the charges. He did mention it to the bully afterward, and asked why he had told the teacher. The bully just called him a loser and elbowed him in the stomach, knocking the wind out. It hurt my son quite a bit, but my son tried to act tough on the playground and covered up the pain. He wanted to cry but fought back the tears. He was in pain for hours afterwards. He told us about what happened when he came home.

I mentioned it to the teacher the following morning, letting her know who it was and what he had done and under what circumstances. When I told her who it was, she said, "oh, I know that boy. It's no surprise that he would behave in that manner." She said that she would talk to the bully's teacher and the problem would be resolved. Later that evening, my son informed me that the same kid had hit him again in dodge ball because my son had gotten too close to him. The kid also went to tell a teacher that my son was bothering him, so the teacher told him that he could no longer play dodge ball. Again, my son did not want to challenge authority, and he reluctantly acquiesced.

When I informed the teacher that the bully had again physically attacked my son, she said that she had discussed the matter with the other teachers and it seemed that there was some sort of mutual conflict. Apparently they had spoken with the recess supervisors who had said that there had been complaints against my son. She did not go into much detail and did not seem to indicate that any further action would be taken. It almost seemed that she was saying that my son deserved to be hit and the whole thing would be a wash since both parties had a part in the wrongdoing. I protested, but she took advantage of the fact that she had to go meet her class at morning flag deck.

I then spoke with the principal a few hours later. He of course took a neutral, political stance and did not acknowledge much, and simply said that he knows all the kids in his school and they are all good. He said that he would investigate the matter further. I did not get a very good feeling, but perhaps, the principals are supposed to act in this neutral, almost indifferent manner until they are able to fully investigate the matter.

Just a little side note: this principal happens to be a huge hockey fan. I just hope that he does not think that a little playground violence is acceptable as it is in the hockey rink.

Comments for Dodge Ball Bully

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Punch the bully in the nose
by: Anonymous

Have someone who knows how teach your kid to punch the bully hard in the nose. Give him a good bloody nose.

Sure, your kid may get suspended for a few days. You might even go to court, but it will be worth it.

The bully will leave your kid alone and your kid will have self esteem.

There is nothing worse than your son living curled up in an emotional fetal position all of his life because his mother told him to turn the other cheek again and again and again.

Having your child punch a BULLY in the nose will make your son a bully too & he's to good of a child to belittle himself to the BULLYS ways...
by: Deborah Kalisz

I dont agree w/punching bullys in the nose BUt I do think ur son need to stick up for himself & protect himself if BULLY attacks him BUT to right out punch the bully his wrong & ur son knows right from wrong. My son didnt have a chance to protect himself from the bully who attacked him.My son didnt see it coming but now he takes Kempo & this has given him self confidence & he know how to protect himself maybe your son might enjoy something like this The schools do very little about bullying & i'm finfing this out first hand.They dont want to much of a "paper" trail about bullying in there schools so the least amount of paper work on bullying they can do the better for them as they DONT want there school w/a target on them as a school w/bullys. My son indured more bullying from going public w/his attack & it was my son who wanted to go public & for that he has become a stonger child inside. He has injuries casued from the attack that has impaired his hearing & the bully was not removed from the school for 4 months because the kid was a "special Ed" & ESE student & they have more rights that our kids. It can be a loosing battle if u let it BUT DONT let. FIGHT for your childs rights.Be his voice w/the principal get involved at the school as much as u can,the more u have face time at the school the more they know u wont put up w/ BULLYING. Get involved in PTA/PTO get on the SAC Board get the media interisted in doing a story on BUlling at your school, I did & believe me it DOES WORK! If u need to please email me dmgates@gmail.com I'll be more than happy to communicate w/u. I have several links to my sons storys u might be interistred in. tay stong for your son,
Deborah Kalisz
dmgates@gmail.com

Please click the link below, as this was an interview done w/my son in late May this year from CBS12 reporter Tara Cardoso

http://www.cbs12.com/video/?videoId=87801326001&lineupId

These 2 links below are from Jan, 2010 when Michael wanted to go public about his attack at H.L.Watkins & we did go public for Michael.

http://www.wflx.com/global/story.asp?s=11815588

http://www.cbs12.com/news/palm-4723573-beach-school.html


Heres a link to CBS12 coverage from Jan. 2010 of the "Alleged Death Threat My son received after he went public.

http://www.cbs12.com/news/says-4723844-school-student.html


Heres some links our son found when he googled himself, there are more I just posted these 5.

http://www2.wptv.com/dpp/news/School-bullying-at-heart-of-potential-lawsuit

http://bullyinglte.wordpress.com/2010/01/11/florida-mother-fed-up-with-bullying/

http://www.overcomebullying.org/child-receives-possible-permanent-damage-from-school-bully.html

http://miketully.net/blog/2010/01/12/school-bullying-at-heart-of-potential-lawsuit-fl/

http://www.childeducationnet.com/index.php?mod=group_thread&code=view&id=360

creating bullying paper trail at school
by: Holly Beck, author Revenge of the Dorkoids - bullying theme

Often we do not get the right response or attention from our schools unless we create a paper trail and they know we are doing that. Paper trails put the school legally at risk so they do more to solve the problem.

To do this, check with your school district and find out the law regarding mail for your school. Often the school is required by law to file and keep letters you send to them. This might only apply to the District office. If this does not apply then send registered mail that creates a documented paper trail.

Keep a file of all correspondence and a diary of all episodes. Diary's are permissible in a court of law. The more detailed the better, date, time, witnesses, etc.

Dodge Ball is a choice sport for bullies and would-be bullies
by: Anonymous

Somehow, I find it hard to take your complaint seriously because you seem to think dodge ball is just innocent play. It is not. Dodge ball is a violent sport that encourages cruelty by the strong and aggressive against the weak and vulnerable. Your referring to intentionally slamming an object into the body of a child as "tagging" instead of "hitting" is a clue that you are not against violence. You are merely against violence against your son. Congratulations, your son has reaped what you and your violent culture have sewn. Bullying is epidemic in societies that are warlike and encourage their children to play at war and violence. Bullying cannot be stopped, not at all, not ever, so long as the adults in society continue to vote for warmongers, the death penalty, and buy their children violent videogames and toys. Dodge ball has been quietly, but officially removed from the lists of approved sports in P.E. classes because of the many lawsuits brought against schools that allowed children to assault one another with over-inflated volleyballs by idiots masquerading as teachers, who either looked the other way when students chose the "wrong ball" from the equipment room, or who actually chose that ball for the students, perhaps to vicariously beat up on your son or others like him. Plenty of gym coaches still "teach" the "sport" to students (as if savagery and mayhem needed a lesson plan, but if their students get hurt, at least the school can just fire them and say "We didn't sanction it!"

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