What Every Target of Workplace Bullying Needs to Know

I'm Worried to Tears, for My Daughter :'(

by Jessica

My Daughter is 9 years old. She has a Beautiful, Caring and Forgiving Heart. "I Love You just as much as God Loves You".. That has been our saying, between us.. which is a Love that can't be topped. :) She is my only child and I Love her Dearly and am Always Proud of Her.

I'm at this moment.. extremely Stressed, to the point I feel like I might have a mental breakdown. But I'm a very strong woman, at least that's what I keep telling myself.

I live in an Apartment Complex and am seriously considering on moving some place new. Though my Daughter is against the idea. She doesn't want to change Schools, but that all depends if I can find an affordable place that is in the same School District, since I don't have a car and wouldn't be able to drive her to school each day.

My Daughter has been a target of bullying numerous times, I feel ashamed that I haven't been more involved in the matters. I was raised differently and when I was in Middle School.. I was always told just to ignore those who bullied me and to continue to treat others kindly to love your enemies and do good to those who hurt you or persecute you. also to tell a teacher and or counselor if it continued.. Luckily it worked. And so I've always told my Daughter the same.

But...That was back in my day and age. I'm 29 years old.

When My Daughter tries to tell her teacher, the teacher tells her to stop tattling even before my daughter can even begin to report others bullying. My daughter goes to the Counselor, but for little insignificant things, since she tends to forgive easily.

I hadn't realized that now in my Daughter's generation, things wouldn't be the same. My Daughter's kindness and forgiving heart has been taken advantage of by these kids in our Apartments. Also they all go to the same School and even some of them are her classmates. I kept telling my Daughter to ignore them when they are mean, cause if you show that it bothers you then they'll continue to bully. I know that no matter what there will always be someone who will be a bully, I wish Bullying would STOP!!

Anyways when the bullying had started... there would be arguments among my Daughter's friends in our Apt. Complex and they would look to my daughter to pick sides, my daughter of course would choose not to pick sides and rather be a mediator to help resolve the other kids issues and arguments. She's pretty mature for her age. A very smart girl with a big heart.

But then the kids would get upset with my Daughter and would all team up.. even the kids that were arguing would team up and spread rumors, tease and isolate and hurt my child's feelings. They would even go as far as taking the bullying into school. I would try to comfort her and tell her to ignore them and etc. everything that my parents used to tell me. Most of the time, My daughter would be bullied and then they would make up a few days later and she would always forgive them and begin playing with them all over again, a terrible pattern, but it's gotten out of hand now. Their parents are always getting involved, but in a very bad way.

I hate to gossip, but seeing on how I'm telling my Daughter's story..

To tell it simply... The children are acting on what they learn from their parents. My Daughter and I don't hate the Children or their parents, though I am starting to despise those kids parents. They set bad examples for their kids and go as far as to even encourage bullying. They have even targeted me as someone to curse and bully whenever I take a stand to try and talk to them about their children's bullying. 3 parents to be exact are the most terrible.

1 parent lives in the same building as I and has 3 kids, we'll call her "Ms. Orange" she's 26yrs. old, the other 2 parents live in the same building across from us and both have 3 kids. We'll call one "Ms. Red" who's 27yrs. old and the other "Mrs. Black" who is 50yrs, old. These evil parents are all friends.. and even friends with my Apt. Manager. I'm out of luck in any situation when they or their kids are involved.

Even though I have numerous confrontations and conflicts with these parents and their kids bullying, this one happened today.

Another child who lives in my Apts. who my daughter doesn't communicate with at all, being the fact that that girl is always a bully non-stop.. well that child's parent had tried to commit suicide and is now in the hospital and might now even be brain-dead. Their parent isn't one of the evil 3, that I had listed earlier. Anyways the kids have been talking about it at home and School and I told my Daughter not to talk about such things cause it would hurt that child all over again, so instead we prayed for her mother and her. and let it be.

When the kids would gossip about it on the bus or at School, my Daughter would ignore them or tell them that they shouldn't be talking about it. That it's hurtful gossip.

Well 1 of the Daughter's of Mrs. Black, who I had mentioned before has been spreading rumors that my daughter and Ms. Red's daughter which is 1 of the 3 parent bullies, are the reason that that girl's mother is in the hospital. My Daughter knows that it isn't true, but is being hurt by the false rumors being spread around school and our Apt's. That is a big burden for her as a child, since My Daughter is only 9yrs. old. Mrs. Black's daughter who is also 9yrs. old had told my daughter that her mother gave her permission to punch my daughter whenever she felt like it. I felt that I should confront the 3 evil parents that I had mentioned before since 2 of those parents kids are spreading the rumors. I also felt that I might actually get through to at least 1 of the 3 parents, since their child was also being accused of such a rumor. probably because their child was starting to play with my daughter and began to actually care for my daughter as a friend.

Just so you understand what was said, was...

Mrs. Black's daughter told my daughter that Ms. Orange told her that my daughter as well as Ms. Red's daughter are the reason for that other little girl's mother's suicide attempt.

I went and talked to the parent who lived in my apt. building Ms. Orange first, since she was already outside and was babysitting Mrs. Black's daughter who had started the rumors. She denied everything as well as Mrs. Black's daughter who was the one responsible for the malicious rumors and assault threat. Which she denied and said her cousin was the one who said that, not her. Btw, I've experienced each of those children's lying first-hand and have even caught them in lies, so I know that they are not to be trusted. Nothing accomplished there.. so I went to Mr. Red's since her daughter was a witness and was willing to vouch for my daughter's sake, since she was also a victim of Mrs. Black's daughter rumor.

Ms. Red came to the door only after taking Ms. Orange's phone call and was convinced to side with Ms Orange. Ms. Red came out and somehow I became a target for yelling at Mrs. Black's daughter, which I hadn't. I had only told Mrs. Black's daughter to "Please be quiet, I'm talking to the adults, not you." Because she was becoming quite evil and butting in with petty remarks as I was talking to Ms Orange and Ms. Red outside. I had told Ms. Orange and Ms. Red that I hadn't come to argue, but just for them to please have a talk with their children and to tell them to stop spreading such lies (rumors) Ms. Orange then called Mrs. Black to head home. Mrs. Black's daughter denied everything again as-well as Ms. Orange. But this time Ms, Red's daughter decided to speak up for my daughter and said that My Daughter was telling the truth and that she was there when Mrs. Black's daughter started the rumor and when Mrs. Black's daughter threaten to punch My Daughter and had said that her mother had okay'd it. But to my surprise... Ms. Red told her daughter to Shut-up. As she clearly didn't want her daughter to be a witness to their lies and didn't want her daughter to stand up for my daughter. Just then Mrs. Black showed up and without any explanation started cursing and yelling at me, she proceeded to look at my Daughter and called my daughter a B**** A**. which I told her to not curse at my daughter or call my daughter names. I told my daughter to head home, because I didn't want her to hear the foul language, and I then proceeded to try and "I mean try" to talk to Mrs. Black, I seemed to be the only sane and respectable, mature person there. I told Mrs. Black that she was obviously not acting her age and had no respect for her kids or of the kids of her friends who were also outside listening to her cursing. Plus the fact that she called my Daughter curse-words was proof of her acting like a fool. They all turned on me and were cursing and making up serious lies themselves, so that any other on-lookers could think horrible of me, Mrs. Black even called me out to fight. I told her that I'm not going to sink to her low level and behave as a child and do something to get myself arrested for her malicious bullying behavior.

Mrs. Black then told me to lock my daughter inside and if she see's my daughter playing outside that she herself would bully my daughter as-well as her daughter. I told her I would call the cops if she did. She ignored me and continue to talk badly to me and she even had the audacity to call me a bad mother.

I don't know what to do.. Talking to the Apt. manager does no good, because they are all friends and I have no witnesses on my side, everyone in the Apt. is scared of the Malicious 3, to turn on them. I am not. but I'm just worried they'll continue to make more problems for my daughter and they would team up on me to try and make me look like the bad person with their lies and they would act like the innocent. Please I need advice.

I'm at my wits end. I am stressing for my daughter's sake. My Daughter is willingly easy to forgive them as I am not. Because I am sick and tired of this vicious cycle. :'(

Comments for I'm Worried to Tears, for My Daughter :'(

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by: lizzy NJ

FIRST … you need to not get into details so much. In that, you lose people. Your story lost me after the fifth paragraph.

So…let me try to highlight what matters and be brief.

1. I am the mother of a 9 year old female whom I have tried to
raise with same God virtues as I was raised with; that of having love of neighbor.

2. Unfortunately, it isn't the same world I grew up in 29 years ago and my daughter is experiencing difficult persons in her school and not receiving support from counselors or teacher.

(here is where I interject to say STOP …and see that while you mention many times the word 'bully' you have not gone into the details of HOW …as you went into detail of your good daughter) HOW is your daughter being bullied. Physically? Verbally? Profanity of words aimed at her? or TAUNTING her as to her looks, her good grades, her way of talking? HOW is she being bullied?

3. Ok, Now…without the details of Mrs. Red, Orange and Black and what they say or do. DO ACT for your own sake and your 9 year old daughter. Don't move to a new place in same school district, MOVE to a NEW TOWN. It sounds like you are a single parent and that can make things rough. I hope you have a secure job. At least a job where you have been with firm a long time. (do you have marketable skills?)

4. If you are a single parent and can move in with any other type of relative (preferably in a house rather than apartment, helping with rent for 'a room' for you and your daughter, DO GO TO THEM. (grandmother; who needs assistance of younger? aunt? sister? cousin? You need support with your child? (If divorced; I hope you get child support)

Assuming the best and you can now live with a relative far from the trouble spot…teach your daughter how to lift one's self up…economically. You take courses after work in a certain skill: hairdressing, phlebotomy (drawing blood), medical billing, floral arranging…any SHORT course that will land you NEW OPPORTUNITY. (KEEP THE JOB you have; but advance yourself on your own) This is how to outwit the opponent who bothers, leave them when you rise above where they are at.

I HOPE you can find a relative who will allow you to live and share in the expenses of life living. A relative. Not a friend…a relative of some type. (a brother would also work; as you would have a male support role for your daughter)

REMOVE YOURSELF from a bad environment.

Be adult to your daughter
by: Lizzy NJ

Be the adult mind to your daughter and your own needs. Be mature.

"If peace is not with you in a place; shake the dust from the sandals and go to the next town"

1. If not a church go-er; become one. I wish I knew how to speak of knowing 'the right church' but basically…humanity is humanity but CHURCH (group of faithful, not all perfect but striving to live 'in' the perfect) CHURCH which will give you much consolations (blessings) and grace is the 'one Holy Apostolic Church' formed by the Holy Spirit … where there is a 'family of God' understood…a 'body' who honors 'the beginnings' of God's grace bestowed in fullness; so as to be dwelling place for God's son. (Spiritual mother, our Spiritual brother, and God's fullness of graces and gifts) (hint hint) (hope you allow me to say this Anton)

2. Once you are amidst those 'striving to follow' God; you will meet different spirits than Mrs. Black, Orange or Red. (not to judge Mrs. Black, Orange or Red…they are strugglers also)

3. Good begets Good. Speak to the ministerial authority of such place (priestly authority) for guidance to employment and educational opportunity for yourself. They can help as you help yourself.

4. One way to help yourself is to pray (nothing happens without it) Pray for self and others and even your enemies. Rid yourself of what ails you inside (which you do when at the worship in this church on Sundays and or Daily) HE will heal you and you will see 'good' AGAIN…and act on that.

5. MOVE out of the world. If all you can afford is a studio apt. or one bed apt; give your daughter the bedroom and you sleep on the sofa or sofa bed. BUT get a better environment.

It won't happen overnight…but Graces and Blessings will begin …as you TRUST in GOD (not the words of humans)

GO FOR IT!! Be mature…


Get away fast
by: Anonymous

You need to move into a new school district or enrol your daughter into a new school asap. Ths is going to escalate to dangerous levels. This is not a safe environment for your daughter. Move out of that apartment if you can sooner than later. Call the cops and tell them that you and your daughter have been verbally threatened. Report it and show these women that you will act if you have to.

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