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Healing Rhythms

Out of Options

My child has been being (extremely) bullied at his school for almost a year. I have talked to and met (40 to 50 times) with his teachers, counselor, asst. principal, principal, and administrator to resolve the bulling and all I get is that my son is always the root of the problem and nothing was done about it each time. I recently requested a meeting with the asst. superintendent. The problem with my son being bullied has affected my whole family. My son is afraid all the time of everything now, he doesn't trust anyone, he wont eat, sleep, talks of suicide, feels worthless and alone. He is now seeing a doctor, counselor, psychiatrist and taking medication from this; I recently put him in private school and pray that this does not ever happen to my child again or anyone elses.




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Out of Options

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Hats of to you!
by: Anonymous

I feel so badly for you and your family. The sad part is that unless the people you are dealing with have had personal experiences with bullying, they are usually woefully ignorant of the effect it has on whole families, mostly the victim.
I was bullied both as a child and an adult and the trauma is mind-boggling.
But, you seem to be 100% on board with your child and prepared to go to the mat no matter how many times it's necessary. THAT is what will make the difference for him. My hat is off to you! A lot of parents don't realize how devastating it is for their child.
Your son being bullied...
by: Sarah

I hope everything will be fine now for your son at his new school. I was bullied terribly as a child, and now as a middle aged adult it is still going on, sadly.
I have had bullying all my life and it can be devastating, but somehow I survived.
I wish both your son and the family all the best for the future and that his new private school will have a more enlightened attitude towards bullying should it occur again,(hopefully it will not).
Some schools are better than others at dealing with bullying it seems.
I only wish my parents could have taken me out of school and educated me at home. It wasn't such an option when I was at school, but it is more acceptable nowadays, although some countries laws seem to differ on the home education of children.
Starting Over
by: Anonymous

Hello,

It is unfortunate that no one at your child's old school did anything about the bullying. I don't know why your son was targeted. I am not blaming him at all, but as a parent you need to step back and ask that question to protect him and guide him going forward. Was the targeting due to race, cultural background, a learning disability, physical disability, a behavior situation that may make him a target? Or.. maybe the kids at this other school weren't dealt with for some reason.. are their parents prominant where the school administrators feared taking action?

You need to help your son realize that the totality of who he is doesn't rest on how others may treat him sometimes. I tell my kids all of the time - Do you think Steven Hawking cares if someone makes fun of his shirt? They laugh and get the point that there are bigger things in the world to ponder.

Help him find a passion..something that is important to him to boost his self esteem and focus him positively. If he has any type of disability that may make him a target, work with your new school if he needs any peer modeling. Is there anything that you could do as a parent to socialize him and build his self esteem? Encourage him to join groups, clubs, etc. and help him to meet kids with whom he may have something in common. He may be reluctant to try something new.. so what .. push him anyway and keep trying until he finds something he likes. If he is connected somewhere, it will give him some of his power back.. - help him to take it back.. and he will stand tall (or at least a little taller).

You know your son and have a gut as to what the cause is.. for example if he has ADD..(I'm not saying he does..just an example) read up and inform him of all the famous people who have dealt with this condition and thrived.. if he has a physical handcap..do the same.. I like telling my kids about George Washington Carver.. He was black, a slave, probably had high functioning Aspergers and his mother was killed when he was a baby. I tell them to look at all he accomplished in his life..what an uphill battle but he thrived and made the world a better place. Also..if it is just awful bullying many famous people have been victims of bullying and are openly talking about it..make sure he knows he isn't alone - and this wasn't his fault.
It gets better
by: Heather

I know exactly how you are feeling. Our son was also bullied and the school did nothing. Our family was turned upside down. We had to move him to another school and he is doing much better now. We as parents can not give up on our kids, and we have to stop these schools from turning a blind eye to bullies and letting them get away with it and blaming our kids. I hope things get better and better.
you're not alone...
by: Angry Parent

My 15 yr old daughter is very popular,4.0 GPA, Student Body Officer etc.. was bullied for over 3 months by 5 very mean girls & their mothers. The Princ &Vice Princ did very little /nothing as this continued. Her father and I every day met ,wrote emails, met again with the district, the vice superentendent etc The Principal made excuse after excuse to blame my daughter vs making 'her'school look like it had a bulling problem. She avoided everything she could to make example of these girls even denying it was 5 girls and saying it was only 2. Blaming my daughter and me, her mother. She delt with everything but THE issue of bulling and started blaming me(her mother) not the bullies mothers who filed false police reports, glared at my daughter and stood outside of her locker while the school did nothing. I stayed out of the school and sent emails, no police, delt with the district. When" They " finally met with my daughter, a district PhD, Principal, two police officers and started to bad mouth me over and over my daughter crying out off control went to call me ,waiting outside in the car (because I was't allowed in school) I heard 30 sec. of this harrasment and ran into the school and wanted her out of that meeting. As it turned out I got a citation, My daughter got kicked out of school for using her phone to call for help. I am not done. She needs closure. This Principal was out of line, out of control and well, just not doing the job from the beginning. Take it out on me but my bullied 15 yr old?
Private Schools Are No Different!
by: Anonymous

My 13 yr old daughter was bullied in our small town public school, we moved all of our children to private school this school year.

The problem is the same in private school. Actually worse according to my daughter.

Now even my 11 yr old daughter is being bullied. What I have found in my area is the parents do not care what their children are doing.

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