Being Reasonable With Bullies Doesn't Work
I have been bullied at work for years by my boss and several sychophants whom that person poisoned against me right from the start.
The boss is a long serving employee (30+ years!) who has hit a glass ceiling and will not go any further.
That person sees others, who are friends of the Directors all move further up the ladder and that person has become extremely bitter about it.
I think this has turned this person into a really nasty piece of work. Some examples of this person's behaviour include:
• poisoning of others
• disappearing for hours at a time
• playing favourites
• encouraging others to join in the nasty behaviour (mobbing)
• withholding work information
• not following company procedure on appraisals - not doing any, or improperly
• different standards for staff - some get away with murder whilst others (me) have comments made at the slightest thing
Despite having endured this behaviour I took on basically half of another colleagues tasks (who got paid a third more than me) after that person left. I was given a very small pay adjustment which seemed insulting compared to the wages the other person was on.
One of the sychophants is allowed to arrive an hour late every day and has never ever worked a full week at the company in all the time I have been there. Despite all my hard work and effort I have been called, amongst other things, lazy, stupid, fat, brainless, a psycho, paranoid, whistleblower etc.
I tried to appeal to the main bully boss but this was met with denial and contradicitons. eg
• "I never said anything"
• "on 31st March 2007 in front of Mrs X you said Y"
• "oh, well it was just a joke"
The first time I mention dates the main bully couldn't even look at me and looked scared and that person's eyes seemed to be welling up. At this point I knew everything I had been feeling was 100% right.
Despite this the bullying pattern followed the usual. Stops - small occasional remarks - others join in - full blown mobbing - chat - stops...
Behind my back my Boss had gone to the HR director and started a dialogue about 'my behaviour' and I wasn't made aware of this.
After a few more poorly constructed appraisals where my behaviour was marked down as "no problems", "asset to the sales team", "fitting in well" and another actual meeting whereby I specifically asked if any of my work or behaviour was unacceptable and told that there wasn't any problems.
After confronting one of the sychophants I was then, after returning from holiday - they had grouped together, asked to speak to the HR Director in the form on an 'investagatory meeting' about 'concerns about my behaviour'.
I was attacked by the HR Director right from the start of the meeting and was firstly refused to be able to see what I was being accused of. The Director handed me a sheet of paper that was dated from the previous week and it seemed to be minutes from a meeting with the other mob bullies. It said that the HR Director agreed that my behaviour 'had to stop'. After finally being allowed to read this the 'meeting' or attack continued.
I was told...
• "you're very quiet"
• "this company has done everything to help you"
• "if we wanted to get rid of you we would have done so"
• "you don't look at people when they talk to you"
• "my staff wouldn't act like this"
• "you are paranoid"
• "I'm worried about you"
• "I hear that you keep a log of the events - I find this scary"
• "where is the log - is it on your computer?"
• "this stuff would get laughed out of court - I mentioned on an email to the bully that I had taken advice"
• "this is nonsense"
• "you can state your case and we can look at every incident but frankly there is no point"
• "you must agree to stop taking notes in your spare time!!!!!!!"
The minute taker who was one of the sychophant's friends then joined in also defending their colleagues. To my surprise 75% of the stuff above was actually minuted and sent to me and the other bullies!!!!
Since then things have gotten a bit better as one of the group sadly nearly died but recovered - perhaps this focused the minds of the others?
I'm still dumbstruck and numbed by the whole episode and I've been gagged into keeping quiet.
I just thought I would share my story as a warning to others who think that they can beat a bully by reasonable actions. You are dealing with a very manipulative individual who cheats to get ahead, it isn't personal - try to ignore it or it will escalate into what I went through.
One day karma may solve the issue.