What Every Target of Workplace Bullying Needs to Know

Bulling From A Co-Worker At Management Meeting


(PA, USA)

I work for a management company that owns 13 hotels, as a manager of one of the hotels. Twice per year we have 3 day meetings to review policies and company information.

I have always felt uncomfortable around one manager in particular because it seems like she makes an effort to cut me off mid-sentence or roll her eyes when I am talking, usually outside the meeting when we are at dinner.

The first time I met her she actually presented my idea about a management white water retreat as her own. I was a little upset but thought it was not worth making a stink about it, so I just let it go, and just made a mental note not to trust her.

This past week we had our meetings. I felt the same uncomfortableness around her as normal, but this time after the meetings two co-workers came to me individually to tell me how this co-worker took them aside to ask them why they liked me. They told me she made comments like you don't mind how she bosses you, or don't you find they way she talks to our supervisor in-appropriate? Both co-workers told me they stood up to her and one even told me she was told by them that she was going to report this to me, as she did.

I was also told about an incident at dinner, that same night (by 3 co-workers). It seems when I excused myself from dinner to get some fresh air, she confronted our supervisor about me in front of the entire group. I was told she expressed how she felt my conversation with him at the meeting was inappropriate and that I was treating him with no respect. He apparently told her to let it go at which point she yelled at him "who has your balls in their hand? Are you going let her carry your balls around like that". It was said he ignored her, but did not tell her to be quiet. All three co-workers told me it was very uncomfortable. At this dinner she also made snide comments to me about my weight and how I need to sit at my seat and eat all my food because I am so skinny. I again, ignored her and finally got up from the table to get some air, and I guess this is when she made her attack on me.

I just don't know what to do. I only see her a couple times per year, but like I said I feel like she is declaring war on me and I am concerned about what she is saying about me to my supervisor (who I have a very good relationship with}. I really don't understand what I did to make her act this way, so I don't know how to fix it. We are supposed to have a company Holiday party (overnight) in December and I am already stressing about this. I just do not want to go. What should I do? Please help me...


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Comments for Bulling From A Co-Worker At Management Meeting

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Reply to Bullying from a co-worker at Management Meeting
by: Anonymous

Hi,
I suggest you make diary notes of everything you've just put here on the website. Document the date, time, place, who was present, who said what to you, how you felt about it at the time. Make an appointment with HR to discuss this behaviour and tell them that you will not tolerate that type of behaviour. It is unlawful and slanderous. Tell the Company that they should firstly try to resolve the matter internally. The behaviour warrants a formal warning at least. Also go to your Doctor and tell him or her what is happening and how you're stressed, and developing anxiety. You may not realise it, but you are experiencing stress. If nothing happens, you may have to engage a Solicitor and send this person documents that threaten a law suit for slander. That person will stop very quickly, when it is their own money they have to pay when you seek damages for the defammation.
It will not be easy, but you must act immediately. Delaying will not make it better. This person continues to behave badly towards you, because you didn't say anything initially and by so doing, this person thinks they can continue the behaviour.
You're not the only person this has happened to, and you certainly have my sympathy and best wishes. Take someone to the meeting with you for moral support.
My experience as someone who has experienced bullying and now as a Solicitor is that you must act and must act quickly and decisively. The person will stop, if he or she has to.
I wish you all the best.
Let me know how you get on.

Bulling from A co-worker
by: Aura

Why are you Stressing? This woman does not have the same friendly personality as you do. People like you
stay the way you are! You must be a good person for people to stick up for you.
She doesn"t like you!
Even if you confronted her, I doubt it will change her.
She has the Green Monster sitting on her shoulder!
Do you really want her to be your friend? You have what she doesn't and THAT IS FRIENDS!!!
If you have a good relationship with your boss, then theres no reason why that should change.
Keep respecting all those that you work with and treat them how you wish to be treated, and when you are with that mean spirited woman treat her the same.
all the best.

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