What Every Target of Workplace Bullying Needs to Know

Bullying And The Spiritual Journey...

by Sarah
(UK)

I feel the need to write this as I think that bullying as part of a 'spiritual journey' does not seem to be very often touched upon. That may be because many targets would view such suffering as anything but an aid to spiritual progression. I, therefore, risk the anger of a few victims of bullying by writing this, but I think it is important to touch upon.

I have come to see my own mobbing experiences as all part of life's rich journey, a chance to grow into a better human being maybe, a chance to understand and empathise with others more and take that new-found knowledge with me into whatever lifetime may await beyond this one. And even if an individual doesn't believe in an afterlife, they can still apply their knowledge to the life they have now.

Some of you may not agree with such sentiments. But I do feel that, if there is any purpose to my life, the mobbing experiences have been part of that rich tapestry, however painful they have been to me. I don't want to 'un-know' what I have learned. Suffering for me can bring wisdom and experience, even if it leaves one with painful memories. If we only had happy memories, what good would that do? We would all be no more than like spoilt children who never really grew up.

I only say this because I read in the paper this week that scientists are in the process of developing a 'forgetfulness' pill; one which would help to block out painful and uncomfortable experiences in the individual's past. It is not clear at the moment how this 'forgetfulness' pill would work, and if it does, it may be very beneficial to some. For myself I would prefer to take with me what I have learned, and perhaps learn how to help others as much as I can. I'll end there for now.

Comments for Bullying And The Spiritual Journey...

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To forget the truth is to never learn
by: Trinity

Hi, many targets of mobbing would come close to, or actually experience their afterlife spiritual journey. But I agree with you that obstacles can be turned into stepping stones and I for one would refuse to take a forgetfulness pill because to un-know what other's are capable of, to forget the pain that others have caused me is to set me up for a life long cyclic journey of bullying, pain, forgetfulness, bullying, pain, forgetfulness. While I am considered crazy enough to be totally incapacitated for work (yayay) I am going to use my education and gifts to write of things that people so often ignore, pretend don't happen. It will be a semi-fictional whistleblower book that will touch nerves, as sensational as WikiLeaks I hope. Truth as truth is told.

Response to above...
by: John.

I think there is something in what you're saying, perhaps in the longer term scheme of things. However, sometimes bullying can be of a malicious kind which seeks to 'frame' an innocent person to appear guilty. This is completely unacceptable, and has to be rigorously denied. Victims have the duty to expose bullying for what it is; aggressive and nasty behaviour.

Re: John
by: Sarah

Yes I know what you mean. The bullies have tried to do that with me, set me up to look like the guilty party, or the one who is crazy.
The mobbing IS of a malicious nature. It is not just name calling or playing around. It is an attempt to make me leave the community I have lived in for so many years.

I need the Pill
by: Anonymous

Very interesting thread from the author. To be honest, I definitely need a forgetful pill after recent events. The reason is simple enough, because I DON'T let go of painful memories and I'm currently suffering flashbacks of bullying from my mother, school-life and workplace. Which happened over 35 years ago. Social Phobia and Depression, prevents me from working, acquiring new skills and getting on with my life.

And sorry for going off-topic here. I'm definitely a bully magnet it seems, even on the INTERNET. Recently I've been having disagreements about snake ownership and live prey issues on youtube. Obviously I'm very aware that, snakes eat live prey in the wild, but not FORCED like this video. This isn't nature and the circle of life. This video is filmed within unnatural surroundings for the snake and prey. So I voted against the video, which is my right to do so if I wish. Since that time, I've been insulted and accused of being a pedophile, lied about having more accounts and my family insulted etc. By the following snake owners: (Usernames removed) Please would you advise me what to do here?

Viewers discretion is advised. Please watch the video on youtube if you can and read the foul language below from these cyber bullies.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=phj-ANYP-po

Note from Anton: Let's please keep comments related to the original posts. However, I've added this comment but removed identifying usernames. I don't want this to become a back and forth about the live feeding debate. There are a myriad of views on the internet and if you choose to post on the internet you will invariably find someone with an opposing view. The anonymity of the internet allows people to respond with vitriol instead of reasoned arguments. The best response to what you consider cyber-bullying is no response at all. If you take the bait and get into a flame war you only add to the entertainment value of those who engage in abusive behaviour (both online and offline).

In complete agreement
by: Solange

I agree with you totally about bullying and the spiritual journey, although my thoughts are not about an afterlife. They are more about THIS life. About 4 years ago I was being mobbed at work. I'm a therapist who works with disabled persons. I had a great job in management and clinical work, but one of my co-workers wanted her best friend to have my job. Well, she bullied the boss into hiring this "friend" into another job. Slowly, over a couple of years, they schmoozed him into believing that this other girl was "nicer" and "more qualified" and that I was a "bad manager". In other words, it was a classic way that subordinates get their supervisor kicked out. It really was never so much about lying, but about manipulating others into believing things that were blatantly false. The last step was to assault me in very bizarre ways. The assaults were so bizzare, in fact, that I never thought anyone else would believe it! Was I wrong! "Truthiness" (in the dictionary) not truth prevailed. It was horrible! I worked at that place 12 1/2 years. 12 good years--6 months of hell. Of course, my co-workers goals were to discredit me and to psychologically damage me. I couldn't believe they were doing it, which was my problem. When what was going on finally dawned on me, it was too late. I left a month later. Since then, I've continued to deal with the after effects of the psychological damage in multiple ways. Most recently, I've had the need to teach Assertiveness skills to some of my patients. To me, the spiritual journey is about understanding where we are out of balance and bringing ourselves back to that state so we can connect with the non-dual in this lifetime. (This episode of bullying was far from the first in my lifetime.) The Assertiveness materials made me realize how passive I had been, how out of touch. Yes, the behavior of those others was malicious, hateful and extremely selfish, but it was such a blessing to have that lesson brought to me. When I realized this, I cried for about 3 hours--so much release. This is a blessing, a lesson for me as to where I am out of balance. Now I can take responsibility for my own behavior (learn to not be a doormat)and thank God for the opportunity to become closer to the eternal now by releasing these blocks to my personal awareness and power.

Re; Solange..
by: 'Sarah'

I know what you mean about bizarre behaviour from the bullies. Some of it what can be called 'gaslighting.' in which they do things that simply can't be proved. No one else can see what they are doing but it is obvious to their target.
I do however, believe in an afterlife. I think bullying is part of our earth journey. I do not buy into the Christian belief though, that all people will be 'saved' however wicked.
I think some forms of bullying are satanic in origin, and some of these people may be into cults or other devilish groups. Others simply get 'taken over' by some psychopathic individual and believe whatever that person says to them.
I believe in an evil power in the world, and although there are some rational and scientific explanations for why some people might get bullied more than others, I don't think the explanations offered by psychologists or doctors tell the whole story; there is a darker power at work behind the scenes.
Society is also at fault as well. When I told a health professional about the mobbing (on-going)the first thing they wanted to do was put me on medication and they told me that I would be very lucky to get to see a therapist on the NHS.
The trouble is, I dont' think I am the one who needs medication; it is the bully who needs to see a doctor. But the prevailing culture is weighed against the victim. Nothing hardly ever happens to the bully. We have an upside-down society, perverse to the core.
In the afterlife, I am sure things will be very much reversed and victims can get the long deserved justice they were denied on earth.

Bullying and Spiritual Journey response
by: John

In response, I think Christianity does acknowledge that people can be capable of malice and wickedness, as well as great good. Forgiveness can be part of the healing process in the longer term.
People draw instruction from the Christian teachings of doing good to others and acting fairly while on earth; the afterlife is a different matter, I guess.

Forgetfull pill
by: Anonymous

Hi, In one way I agree the pill would help in the short term for the sufferer, but society is still free to bully away and continue to go unchecked.
Why has it got so bad and why isn't more being done to stop this outrageous behaviour?

Thank you for your viewpoint
by: Anonymous

I read your blog, and it was very healing. I will keep this in mind as I deal with bullying, unkindness and help my children negotiate the world of people. Dealing with bullying is part of our spiritual journey. Like Martin Luther King and Nelson Mandella (I hope I spelled his name correctly), we need to name what is unjust behavior and stand up to it. Peaceful protests can change the world - one bad behavior at a time!

Sarah, Wonderful Post and Thread. My Thoughts...
by: Another Anonymous

Thank you, Sarah, for this wonderful post. I agree that being mobbed or bullied in the workplace can be a profound aspect of the spiritual journey. I was transformed into a far more spiritual person because I was mobbed at work.

My own judgment is that I am a far better human being because of the mobbing. I was forced to go within, to develop spiritual resources, and to rely on God. I was also forced to grapple with my beliefs about evil. (I agree that evil exists, but I view it as a manifestation of human imperfection and limitation.) Had the mobbing not occurred, I probably would have believed that life is governed by economic rationalism and financial calculations.

No, I am not glad that the mobbing occurred-- it was not my choice to undergo it, and if given the choice today I would skip it-- but it did have a profound and positive effect on my spiritual development.

As well, this post should not be construed as saying that mobbing or workplace bullying is acceptable. Mobbing and workplace bullying must be actively opposed and fought, and targets of such activity should be assisted on the personal, company-wide and societal levels.

My spiritual conclusions from my own experience:
--Life is a lesson and transcending adversity, however unwelcome that adversity, can bring one to a higher plane. Everyone is given something to transcend. In my case, that something was the mobbing that I encountered.
--Gratitude for one's blessings and forgiveness of one's persecutors can be very healing.
(Note that forgiveness does *not* mean approving the actions of a tormenter or accepting persecution. The actions should of a tormenter should be vigorously opposed. Forgiveness is instead the recognition that the tormenter is an imperfect being who may be doing the best that he or she is capable of, and deciding to move beyond one's own hostility toward that person.)
--The opportunity to build courage, strength, resilience, gratitude and forgiveness is a gift. It was developing these qualities that carried me through my experience as a target of mobbing, and I hope that these qualities are serving me well and will continue to serve me well in the future.

Never Forget
by: shellster1

I whole-heartedly disagree with the development of 'forgetfulness' pills. I have been of a victim of (childhood) bullying, and therefore I know what that pain feels like; however, the pain is there for a reason...and that reason is to help us become the person we were meant to be in this lifetime. There was a time when I felt pain so intensely that I never thought I'd see the light of day, but I've worked through it and have moved on in my life. I've realized that the pain is not who I really am. The victim is also not who I really am. I'm proud to have had the strength to get to where I am today, because there are many victims of bullying who don't (such as those who take their own lives). Instead of 'forgetting', we should always, always remember. Those of us who are bullying 'surivors' need to be advocates against bullying, so that we can help others who are experiencing the same things that we have, and prevent others from being victims. I believe that is why we have experienced bullying. Let something good come from a bad experience. And let us always remember that pain comes into our lives as an opportunity for growth.

I don't agree!
by: Anonymous

I grew up being bullied. I have fought back on occasion but it never stops. It shows up in a new form. I don't think darkness teaches anybody anything, that's only in fiction. I think darkness's only purpose is to devour.

As a result of how I grew up, I am having to come to terms with a stunted intellectual capacity, I would call it functional retardation, I am unable to comprehend what people tell me unless it is the most simplest terms, so negotiating say a car loan is a major challenge for me. I also suffer from confidence issue. My new job has suddenly changed gears and due to my past I am incapable of handling it.

My foray into a spiritual journey to help, since christianity was useless in this area made it worse.

I now also suffer from spiritual bullying that I am unable to stop.

No, bullying has nothing to teach you. If a kung-fu master comes out of the darkness and teaches you some move or method to fight back or handle it so you are not traumatized like the "Karate kid" movies, then you are really blessed.

Bullying, PTSD, spirituality
by: Anonymous

Traumatic memories of painful experiences can be assuaged much with yogic breathing techniques, I've taught them to war and other trauma victims for many years. Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing is also very good, but when you learn the breathing rhythms, you can keep doing them yourself. Yoga also helps quiet the mind, so more happy things enter the mind, and the body is not stuck in flight-or-fight mode. Flashbacks, nightmares, and intrusive memories are "processed" and don't come back, not that you forget it, but the painful physical, psychological symptoms are either significantly lessened or gone. Spirits rise, as more self confidence grows. People are then stronger to face the mess from "mobbing". I'm just able to resume these myself after healing from a back injury (which curtailed my use of these healing practices) and it seems to me that thinking there is a "purpose" to viciousness is kinda like trying to get some sense of control over a negative situation when we feel helpless. It's important to integrate negative experiences into the life story, as that's the truth, it did happen. That was then and this is now, moving on, reforming and building new strategies to actively deal with subterfuge and being treated with hate. I was mobbed by my spiritual group. People of "love" became vicious sharks and worked at detroying my good name, with behind-the-scenes lies and sabotage, even theft. It's so good to practice the breathing, breath is the opposite of death. It uplifts me again, and lets me know, "Yes, this wonder is still here for me." The connection to the Divine belongs to the individual, and cannot be taken by anyone else. Breathe in, take in life, and breathe out, and relax and rest.

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