What Every Target of Workplace Bullying Needs to Know

Got Out And It Feels GOOD!

After reading others stories I feel compelled to share mine.

I was a senior level HR manager at a successful national company. Initially my relationship with my "soon to be Bully" was positive.

All that changed when he started sleeping with one of the clerks who was a poor performer. For some reason this employee had it out for me...the reason I can decipher is that she was extremely lazy. As she did payroll and I was HR our jobs were interconnected. Having said that in her 8 month tenure I may have asked her for 3 things and she labelled me a slave driver.

During the time this VP and clerk were having their fling the VP's behaviour towards me changed. All of a sudden employee's were being told not to complain to HR, he would publicly (and unjustifiably) criticize my performance and in front of subordinates.

One example is when I put forth a candidate for a senior position. When he walked out of the interview he said to me in front of several employees "I can't believe you would put him forward, he's not one of us". Fortunately my boss, the CEO, had also interviewed the candidate. He commended me for finding a person with such a strong skill-set. I asked him if he had debriefed with this VP after the interview because he obviously disagreed with the CEO's assessment. At this time our offices (mine and the VPs) were right next door to each other and he must have overheard the conversation because the next thing I know I'm cc'd on an e-mail to the senior management team about how great this candidate was!

This is just a small example of the scrutiny I endured for 3 years. I even volunteered my services while on mat leave and this VP was one of the few who took advantage (if he thought I was incompetent why).

In another instance he was literally screaming and cursing at me when I wouldn't identify an employee who had made a complaint (I knew the employee would get reprisal). As a side note I'm proud of how I handled myself that day, stayed calm and kept repeating - "don't speak to me that way".

This VP is one of the most influential people in the organization (3rd in command). I had brought several complaints from other employees forth to the CEO (but not my own for fear it would look like I had a personal vendetta) but all I heard was - "he's not perfect, but he makes money" and "he's like that with us too". So because this VP's misbehaviour is "water off a ducks back" to the CEO it's acceptable?

As with most bullies of course there were employees who were exempt - but it was not related to performance. You could tell who was in the in group because they could show up whenever they wanted and were drinking with him at the bar every Friday afternoon (getting paid and using company credit card).

If there was one failure I had at the company it was in getting the CEO to appreciate the severity of the situation, the impact it had on all staff at that location and how it affected the organization's bottom line (in terms of staff productivity). I tried, I really did but they just didn't want to hear it.

It's been 4 months since I left, so I have distance on my side but my perspective has not changed. Former co-workers who I maintain a relationship with tell me things have not changed.

It's just a matter of time before this company gets sued and if they plead ignorance I'll be the first one lining up to testify.

Comments for Got Out And It Feels GOOD!

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You are a true human being!
by: Anonymous

Gosh, it's good to know that someone is doing the right thing no matter what. You said you were on mat leave? Well, your little one should grow up fine with an example like you to follow! Even though you were bullied yourself, you still stood up for what was right with others! You're a hero.

I sincerely hope it doesn't leave you with too much baggage. You can be proud that you did the right thing and aren't afraid to continue to do the right thing. God bless you!

I sure wish I'd had someone like you in my corner when I got fired immediately after returning to work from recovering from a heart attack. I was out of work for three years and just now found another job as a remote agent for a market research firm. And all that after enduring four years in that workplace being bullied by the three women i worked with!

we need more HR people like you in the world!
by: bob

Reading your post made me a bit sad and then happy that at least there are decent HR people like you out there in the world.

I have recently been bullied (see my post in the main queue) and am finding it hard to look at the positives.

I have learnt one thing through all of this is that I have good values, I treat people with respect and hope to receive the same from them.

The sad matter of fact is that a lot of people are lazy and some of them dont like hardworking people or people who bring any change into a company and these sorts of people will find a way to demoralise or belittle people who have better standards or morals.

I hope things are better for you now and I wish I meet people like you in any place I work because from my experiences I have seen that companies try their hardest to hide things.

They have good policies or state that they do but when it actually comes down to the actioning of that they will do their utmost to cover things up and hide everything.

Male Bullies & Affairs
by: JessicaLouise

I must admit that whenever I have been targeted by a man for bullying, there seems to have been a woman behind him. Sounds terrible I know, but certainly the bullying from the male teacher intensified when he began sleeping with a student. By then I was 17, and she was a year younger than me, so was just 16 years old. He was 35! I witnessed lewd behaviour between them in the common area of the school, when most staff had gone home, and to this day I wish I had opened my mouth against him, because he seems to have got away with it, has moved upward in teaching, and he wouldn't be where he is now, had I reported him. When I left that school, I heard he was dating another teenage student. Looking back, could have been his agenda with me, until he realised I was a sheltered virgin with integrity - too muhc of a liability for him, hence why he dropped me, and I was devastated by the loss of our 'friendship' There never was one - it was probably grooming, because he was all over me like a rash to start with... Chilling really, when I think about it... Anyway, back then, his 16 year old girlfriend (girl being the operative word...) was against me, much like the clerk was with you. She showed herself to be lazy, and achieved much of what she did through nepotism and having a well off, well connected daddy. So, in order to keep his d*&k happy, my former teacher sided with her whenever there was conflict, sold me down the river when she and her friend destroyed a project he and I had been working on for a year before she came on the scene, and the sense of betrayal on so many levels, professional and moral, was absolutely horrible for a (by then) 17 year old to endure.CONT

Male Bullies & Affairs (CONT)
by: JessicaLouise

He is now married to a woman closer to his own age, and I wonder if his wife has been behind his attitude towards me more recently, as three separate psychics have told me she is very jealous and controlling. I sought the guidance of psychics back when I was trying to understand his behaviour you see. I found a similar situation at a previous job too. A single male colleague, and my married female bully were very flirtatious with each other, and over time, the male colleague became more abusive towards me, when he had actually shown himself to have a bit of a soft spot for me before, with funny/affectionate pratical jokes etc. This must have enraged the female bully, who fancied the pants off him, and soon she had him under her spell.
I really do feel that a manipulative woman can easily push an impressionable man into behaving in ways he normally wouldn't. I've seen it too often. Id rather be bullied by a man than a woman any day, because you guys couldn't be truly manipulative if you tried! A woman will smile to your face whilst she is backstabbing and sabotaging you. But a man will always let something tiny slip about his real agenda towards you, no matter how machiavellian/sneaky he seems to be. I feel it is much easier to confront a male bully bascially, because they always give you 'something' to go on, however tiny.
I believe in karma though,I really do. Keeps me sane actually!

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