What Every Target of Workplace Bullying Needs to Know

My Workplace Bullying Story And Advise To All Decent People

by M C
(Melbourne)

I like to give you my story, regarding workplace bullying. I was a victim of it myself. I am old now, and being offered a new job will be hard for many reasons. My only regret is that I was not aware as to why I was constantly picked on. Why I was often labelled and why people were amused when I struggled with meeting deadlines. I had a problem, yet a bit of support would have fixed it all. Instead people made fun of me.

If only it was understood that being made fun of can seriously injure a decent human being. Bullying did more damage to me, than any one would ever know. I changed when I experienced something in an office that instilled so much fear and changed me forever. I had nowhere to turn. No family of my own or husband and no support behind me. If someone told me that I would be out of work for years after my experience, I would have found a loaded gun and shot myself. Looking back today, there is no way that I would have accepted the path which lay before me. But, here I am, telling my story.

To all decent people joining a company I say to you, be sure of where you want to carve out a career. Get information before accepting a job. Companies are selective when it comes to helping individuals move ahead in an industry too. They know very early which ones they want to support. If you are not one of them, then find another job, very quickly or your self esteem and confidence to say the least will suffer.

In my job, I wanted so much to believe I had found the career of my dreams, but something was wrong. In all my years of working there, I never moved up one notch. I then made a mistake and experienced an act that was so severe, most of me died there and then. An act that like so many others, was never brought to justice. It happened because I was a target of bullying. The act was hidden and I was labelled the problem so to save the company from admitting fault.

For once I learned what being frightened to death felt like. I was stopped from working, to say the least. As days became months and then years, I was slowly losing energy and appreciation for life. All my skills, finances, dreams, goals, and assets disappearing before me. If only someone had taught me about bullying and the law.

I then became sick and in time I decided to have a blood test. It was years after my injury that I finally showed a doctor a health condition I had been hiding. A health condition that could have been prevented if the company responsible took some interest in me. It was explained to me, of what I was suffering from. I walked out of the surgery relieved. The fear, pain, and worry for some reason disappeared.

My time now is limited, but I am happy because I will finally be with loved ones and no one can ever hurt me again. I no longer need to try to fit in, or explain myself to people or feel ashamed or embarrassed when I ask for work or look for a job. Soon, I will be resting, and with the people I once loved. I am glad, because this company can never hurt me again.

Bullying is a crime and any company that supports it, needs to be shut down.

Comments for My Workplace Bullying Story And Advise To All Decent People

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So sad
by: cathy

Hi, I am so saddened to hear your story. I am constantly amazed at how cruel and demoralising human beings can be to one another. You would not see it in the animal kingdom and they tell us that we are so much superior to the animals. It is very rare that you would see a dog attack another dog which would end in the loss of life and the same goes for most animals. I am so sorry to read what you have to write, the finality of it is very moving indeed. I will say a little prayer for you tonight. You are a beautiful person. God Bless you

Dont Give Up
by: Anonymous

I feel your pain MC. My son was in a similar situation, but in his case it was school. He hid his pain from me, his own mother. I saw a change in him, that if I didnt get help right away, he would be now resting with my husband at the cemetary. You are right, one needs to be very careful, especially these days, as to where they want to carve a career. If they do not have support behind them, then they need a company that will make up for that lack. It is such a shame that today GREED, and CORRUPTION overshadow all the qood qualities that once existed. I feel your pain, but I wouldnt look for resting with loved ones, get help because alot of our illnesses are from stress and can be cured. Dont give up, because any pain or health condition you have I am sure there is help out and puting this on the website does more good than you would ever imagine. You dont want to miss out knowing how much of an impact this story can have on other people. Hang in there!!!

So Sad
by: Anonymous

I know where you're coming from, I have experienced bullying before from a workplace, and also experienced stalking along with it.

You sound like a wonderful human being, and is there no way you could possibly sue? I don't know what the legal ramifications are or how long you have after you leave the company. It's too bad, that after all of that, you have experienced such horrible health problems, but that is very understandable considering no health benefits etc. I too, have been there. If it wasn't for my husband I don't know what I would have done. The same company that did this to me, did this to 3 people that I know of so far, 2 they ran out of town, But... I do believe in Karma, and that God will take care of these people that did this to you, and also others.

May God Bless you, thank you for posting this, it took alot of courage.

Sad but true
by: Anonymous

I could have written your letter. The bullies scared me to death in my office too.
I was a female in a male dominated job in a local government office. After 9 years on the job where good old boys & bullies ruled--a male supervisor pointed a handgun at me one day and said, why dont you take off running and we'll target practice? The gunpointer, another supervisor and a 3rd coworker all laughed. I said, thats not funny. Everyone in the room saw it. I asked the woman coworker in the chair next to me, M, did you see that? She said no. I had to accept that lie, because the gunpointer & his 2 sidekicks were standing nearby (with the gun). I didnt tell any coworkers about the gunpointing because I didnt have too. At the moment I thought he'd gone postal and was going to shoot me. Maybe he/they are telling me they wish I was dead. I never learned what the specific message was. They were torturing me. The weekend passed and I told our manager about the gunpointing; he said he already knew about the gunpointing; he promised to write a memo (and never did). About 18 mos later I filed a union grievance citing several contract violations & discrimination, including the gunpointing. The gunpointer called the union, threatened to sue if they didnt withdraw the grievance; & they did. The open hostility bullying & gossip targeting me went on & on and mos later I had to take medical leave. While I was out on leave, the gunpointer (LIAR) claimed it never happened, filed a frivolous lawsuit against me for slander (it never got to court but legal wrangling cont'd for 2 years & cost me more than just money. Finally, the monster blinked. Out of the blue, he gave up the lawsuit & retired on disability. He had heart trouble & gossips blamed me. Why did he sue? He was never disciplined, his job was never at risk, jeopardy, management covered it up. His slander suit reopened gossip about the gunpointing & people started gosiping alover again about it long after speculation died out. It was like your cancer was in remission & you think you might live & then a then you learn its back/inoperable. They wanted to bully me & inflict emotional distress until I dropped dead or quit. I survived on raw nerves ten years on the job after the gunpointing. Eventually, I retired on disability & never got well enough to work again.

Reality Strikes
by: Barbara Biskos

I too went through a similar stage. To the sad but true writer, thank you for sharing your story because now I can understand why maybe I never got back into the work force either.
I too worked for an industry that was more male dominated. Mind games and a threat had me endlessly sick and later thrown out of the industry. So much was done and for so long, because I didnt know who or where to go for help. Year after year, I thought I will be fine, but I wasnt. As soon as an employer offered me a job, the phone would ring and I would be shown the door out. I was monitored, my references were unsupportive and my file was filled with lies and exaggerated stories so that I was unemployable to any company. I became so tired and I lost everything to my name. I wished I had died too, because I didnt have anything to live for. I didnt have family, those I loved had passed on, and I was basically on my own. This company was even making fun of me, becasue I was gaining weight. Sometimes I fell from exhaustion. This was a company that pretended to look after its people. Today, almost ten years later I have almost given up hope. I dont see myelf working anymore too. I look at younger people and just hope they will never go through what I did, because if thats what banks can get away with, then its best one ends their life there and then. I still cant believe what I was put through and still today, I am watched and smirked at. In a ten year period, I lost my health, finances, assets, and desire for marriage and children. All that hope went. If only one person had lent me a hand things could have been so different. In time I plan to go overseas with the little money I have in my supper and spend the rest of my years with family overseas. At least I can be sure that I will never be targeted again, when I go where there is some protection.

Can fathom it
by:

I was a victim of bullying from my administrator, his devoted cronies and my superintendent for three years. I had been a model educator for almost 20 years, when we got new administration everything changed. The wife of one of the administrative persons worked with me and soon took a dislike to me. I had been a decorated educator for some years. Within months of the powers that be and pillow talk taking control, I found myself at the center of a conspiracy to take me out of the system and give it all to those who waited by patiently like vultures to pick the remains. Everyday was a chore, always something wrong, always a complaint. I stayed in the office being scolded more than the students. I had the worst duties in sub-degree weather and was told if I didn't stand my post I would be fired.
After many attempts to get help, and a miscarriage from the stress, I was let go. I almost lost my home as a result. I had nothing in my file for 15 years, and once I filed a complaint-- within 2 weeks I had 42 complaints. Between the nepotism on the school board and the continual abuse, I almost had a nervous breakdown. I could not reapply or even try another school in the system. I had been black-balled. Education is all I knew and for the first time I was lost in a sea of the unknown. More than once I considered taking my life. But praise God I found a better job out of the system and now am extremely happy. Today other educators are dealing with the bullying I went through and no one seems to step forward to change things. I am truly sad for those left behind but eternally grateful that I got OUT.

Thankyou for sharing
by: Anonymous

Thankyou for sharing your story...for the past 7-8 years & currently, I am a victim of very severe workplace bullying. In the past 2 weeks I have made the decision to get out of this workplace for peace of mind. Previous to this I felt my strength & endurance had been very much underestimated, so have been fighting this to prevent anyone coming behind me, having to endure this horrendous torment again.
I suffer all the symptoms of workplace bullying & they are so detrimental to one's health.
I am a single parent of now adult children, I noted that you were also a single female. I've wondered if my not having a partner made me more of a target & I can relate to "being the only one not allowed to know what my workplace crime is" that alone rings alarm bells in itself.
These bullies are power hungry & will consume anyone in their way or who will not suck up to them (admittedly that is my one crime, I can be polite & pleasant but am unable to suck & crawl to anyone power hungry though observe many others can).
I pray your health has improved. After reading your story & many others I feel I want to fight on to help stamp out bullying in society.
If someone had told me 10 years ago that grown adults could behave in the lowlife manner I have experienced, I would not ever have believed them.

I firmly believe that you, myself & anyone else who has had the misfortune to experience workplace bullying will not have experienced it in vain..much work is being done by many to end this horrendous unnecessary torture of fellow human beings.

God Bless You

Bullying hurts physically and emotionally
by: Anonymous

Hi,

Just wanted to tell the person that wrote the first
article, first of all I hope you're still here,
second of all we're are praying for you.
Again, I would try getting an attorney to help you.

God Bless

You're In Our Prayers
by: Anonymous

Again, I hope you're still with us,
God can still use you to help and reach
out to others.
Again, I would seek legal advice.

God Bless

to all "decent" people
by: anon

one of the things about bullying that is the most devastating to the uninitiated target, is when one first senses something is odd about the way in which one's coworkers are relating just doesn't seem normal, normal in the sense of how "adult" professionals communicate and relate with each other.

Usually after some time, target's ask themselves, "What is happening?" because after reflection, they still don't understand the passive/aggressive, contradictory behaviour from their coworkers.

And typically target's then think, "Am I doing something wrong, otherwise, why are these people attacking me?"

And the target's first reaction typically is physical nausea (which may be in many different forms) which target's usually attribute to something else, not bullying. It isn't until the target's psychological reasoning ability has been negatively affected, and sleep disorders and job performance rapidly decline, when the target starts to make the bullying connection, and I am sorry to say at that point, it's too late.

Bullies perception of other's being kind, quiet, gentle and shy, is perceived as weakness.

Bullies always attack what they perceive as weakness, because bullies are abusive empty cowards at their core.

Bullies are not decent people, they are evil personified.

Bullies suffer no remorse.

If you have experienced being bullied and suffered the unrelenting financial and psychological stress, and the unbearable trauma from the effects of bullying, as well as the complete and utter lack of assistance from the agencies designed to help, then you understand why target's turn their brains off, sometimes permanently.

Society is psychologically sick, and is being controlled by bullies at every level, primarily due to the cultures rewards for aggressive behaviour, aggression breeds more bullies.

In other words, "Dog eat dog".

Look what happened to Dr. Kevorkian, Gandhi, MLK...

Mr
by: Darren fitzgerald-milner

I had to give up my job because of a workplace bully manager he sent me to the edge of a breakdown and I'm still recovering. Still looking for another job. My only hope is if karma catches up with the bully

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