What Every Target of Workplace Bullying Needs to Know

University Nightmare

by Simon
(Newcastle, NSW, Australia)

I was once studying at a University somewhere in my home country Australia.

During that time I experienced a lot of underhand tactics and indirect bullying which lead to a complete breakdown of my mental health. The trouble was that officially complaining was the worst thing I could have done as it allowed the University to redress me as compromised and therefore able to be further targeted.

Later I discovered that many other people have experienced what I had at this University. It is notorious for its bullying and hazing culture.

In retrospect I think it is always far smarter to walk away from a workplace bully earlier rather than later. It is not selfish or egotistical to trust your own instincts about your surroundings.

Some people are born and bred on harm and don't mind hurting you to prove it.

If you don't trust your boss or colleague and have reasonable grounds to question their conduct then you must honour your own life and health and leave. The bully then moves on to another victim before eventually self destructing.

I take no pleasure in admitting that this is what happens to bullies but it does. Their ultimate victim is themselves. Just be smart and step to one side and let them go to their fate.

The best advice for recovering from bullying is to make sure you are completely removed from the bully's influence.

Secondly be patient and kind to yourself as you rebuild your life. It is hard at the start but kindness is the true elixir of life. Fortune or dread; they are still options, pick fortune no matter if things seem really awful or dark.

Eventually you will emerge stronger and more aware of how to avoid a bully in the future. Look for obvious signs of sociopathic behaviour in others and avoid them completely if possible.

We are all in this world together. Some may consider others only useful for exploitation for personal gain. I disagree heartily. In refusing the bully what they think they are entitled to allows me to honour my own beliefs and values.

Something is only valuable if it is shared equally. A bully will never understand this but they must respect what I believe in.

Comments for University Nightmare

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SIMON SAYS
by: lizzy NJ

SIMON SAYS… good always wins… AND SIMON is right; do as SIMON SAYS… Ignore BULLIES who simply say DO THIS… without the SIMON SAYS

We are in agreement Simon, see my similar words under You will get over this event.

Correct you are:

If you don't trust your boss or colleague and have reasonable grounds to question their conduct then you must honour your own life and health and leave. The bully then moves on to another victim before eventually self destructing.

It's hard sometimes to 'see' …we the good want to give every benefit of the doubt. COMMUNICATION is KEY to winning over a disagreeable sort. "If your brother is a difficulty, go to him direct and speak what bothers you… OFF company time is best.

Do not hide behind email to the 'boss', DO NOT go to boss for anything but a work related question. Go to THE BULLY and state their wrong (maybe they are ignorant and maybe they will change …do not condemn them but HELP THEM to know; if they listen; you won brother over (i.e.: show you are on their side and want them to succeed) Even if bully doesn't like our words to them; gracious as they are; they won't RUN TO BOSS for they know … THE GAME…he or she who whimpers first TO MAMA AND DADA is OUT OF THE GAME.

So… if you know the truth of GOOD WORKING 'teach it' AND IF THEY still won't support; and you can't get away from bully by a transfer to another dept, change of hours, THEN write a nice resignation letter stating that (whatever) state you have worked hard to have a good employment living and deserve support that is not present. (IF THEY ASK specifically gently tell If the don't …they were never interested in you and YOU WON)

It would help if you had new job first when giving resignation; but even if new job is not there…LEAVE. It is better to state to new employer to be: I wanted to do much but the support wasn't there for me. Makes you look like YOU KNOW and YES…you do.

NICE POST SIMON…

Our society 'world wide' lacks knowledge of GOD…and puts MONEY as the object IN ALL LIVING…LOVE OF MONEY is the root of all evil.

So…time to BRING GOD BACK…SPEAK WITH THE GRACIOUS WAY OF ANGELS to a bully and shake the dust of a place that does not respect THAT GOD WAY / When business is left with the self centered…they will get the message.

Thank you Lizzy
by: Simon

Dear Lizzy,

Thank you responding to my post. I realise one method a workplace bully poisons his/her victim is through silencing them. I felt I had voice when you answered so thank you for your kind words and encouragement.

The mention of a toxic personality holds currency when one is having to deal with a bully. The bully's behaviour is unable to be self acknowledged to themselves as harmful and they find justification in doing it without question.

They poison the workplace in many direct and indirect ways. I feel like I am recovering from being poisoned. The longer time I spend away from sociopaths the more happier I have become.

I always believe that God is powerful and wise beyond comprehension. He is creative, never destructive. In this mystery and in the darkest chapters of dealing with a destructor, my salvation came in the form of my own relationship with God.

When they say God comes to you disguised as your own life, it's true. I discovered this by dealing with people who are completely without any conscience.

I was tested by true evil and survived. I discovered my own basic nature was not like that of the bully. All I had to do with this discovery was to truly honour my own soul with help from God and it saved me.

Thank you,

Thank you also to Anton Hout for website hosting. It is websites like these that help heal others.

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