Coworker Bully Backed by Coworkers

Your Host
Anton Hout
Founder,
OvercomeBullying.org

Is Your Child
Being Bullied?
Robyn Collins
and Wendy Nichols are teachers with 39 years experience between them.
You Can Get Their Guide to Dealing With Bullying at School, Free From Bullies Here

Coworker Bully Backed by Coworkers

by Charlie
(SW VA Hell)

I was hired over a 1 yr ago into a small office; upon my hire all my fellow employees each in their own way warned me about a fellow employee who was a bully. It was considered a right of passage to go through being the object of her disdain, as she did it to all the new female hires. I was warned to "do the hard thing and put up with it", "ride it out", etc.

The other two women in the office see themselves as peacemakers, where really one of them just doesn't like the boat rocked. They don't want to hear the bully fuss, so I am told. If I file, do mail or anything the bully normally does not to tell her, because of the stink she raises. I am not included in any office talks, and I am not talking gossip sessions, I mean things work related. To include me, means she won't participate and she complains and fusses. So, I am excluded and often they have set me up because of this.

A recent retirement party that was supposed to be semi formal was changed by the ladies at the last minute, who forgot to tell me they were wearing dress slacks and sweaters. I wore a below the knee velvet dress and stood out like a sore thumb.

I have had it, I have been to management who just want us to get along, which means I have to take it and not say anything, not fight, not do anything. It is so bad if I have a fax forwarded attention my name she has a fit, running to management that i am not following procedure. Then they question me as to what came in w/my name... Help I want to quit...

Comments for
Coworker Bully Backed by Coworkers

Click here to add your own comments

May 09, 2009

Follow the Bully Leader
by: Anonymous

It has been a shock to me to learn that most people do not have the courage and the integrity, nor the desire, to stand up for what is right. I am learning that in most bullying situations, the masses will remain silent or will support the bully while the target gets pummeled. I think about this problem in our sad society a lot, but I don't have a clue what to do about it except to keep educating the public, and especially young people. I know a situation in our town where an employee revealed to the manager who was stealing inventory, and the employees got mad and ganged up on the honest employee for being a "squealer". He is about to lose his job.

And all because the employees have no integrity and the boss is a "people pleaser". I am helping this bullied employee by not patronizing the business any more and telling people WHY. It takes constant effort to stand up to the rampant bullying in our society and until "grassroots" people take a stand, it cannot be stopped. We must educate the masses, step-by-slow step.

May 12, 2009

I So Agree!!
by: Solange

I think education about bullying is the only way to stop it. Bullying happens because people are afraid... of something. Most often, I believe, what they are afraid of is something going back to their childhood that they have no conscious awareness of. That's why most bullying shows up in some sort of pattern. It comes from some development stage that was frozen in time by fear. The individual never got past that early fear, but learned to use their "child" behavior with amazing skill to get their way in the adult world. When I worked in a place where bullying was rewarded, I used to call it "getting your way through bad attitude." Well, I got out of there!!! But, watch what people who bully do. Chances are you have seen your child or grandchild do the same thing... the exact same thing. The good news for your child is that they outgrew it. Bullies just keep the behavior as a tool for getting their way. And like children, they don't have the self-awareness to understand the effects of their behavior on others. If they did, they could never do what they do.

May 16, 2009

Stand up and you stand ALONE!
by: No Name Girl

Stand up to bullying in the work place - and I promise you - you stand alone! It's the saddest thing I have ever experienced, and most certainly the toughest. After 13 years with the same company, 11 of which were like a honeymoon, with the last 2 feeling like a violent relationship - I am now unemployed and trying to put my life back together.

The road back to "health" has been very hard for me, but I'm a fighter and I believe in justice, fairness, integrity & honesty so I cannot just "heal and walk away". I know that others are being harassed now in my place, and I refuse to look the other way, as they did while it was happening to me.

I've consulted an attorney and it looks like this will go to court. But here's what is so very sad. One of my colleagues (who was a witness to much of what happened, and is now a target herself) called me recently in a desparate state - begging me not to mention her name, or to call her as a witness. WHY? How can she be at fault for just admitting to what she saw and heard? Yes WHY indeed! And, if that's not enough to surprise you, then how about the call the company made to my attorney asking him to instruct me to stop talking to their employees - my friends and colleagues who for the most part still call and or visit ME.

Still, the word is now out from management that I am not to be talked to, and the subliminal message there is that to support me is to step into my shoes and run the risk of becoming unemployed too. Oh yes - and just to "keep it fair" they have hired someone on a contract to investigate. Hmmm, what is the likelyhood that an outsider will have any clue about the sub culture? Companies have a probation period because a person can maintain a facade for only so long before it cracks. Chances are the bullies will put their best faces forward for the short time of the contract to convince the consultant that all is well and I am a wicked liar.

Also - who is paying who here? We all know, you get what you pay for so if you want a certain result, then buy it. Considering a recent environmental "achievement" the company bought and bragged about, this does not surprise me. So - it's off to court we may well go, where I hope the judge is impartial and does NOT buy into media hype & cutsey, folksey PR. The company had an excellent reputation that was real. No more - but the PR machine is still trading on it and while word is seeping into the market, it's still a dirty little secret that is not quite out in public -- YET.

The company is large, well known and has done many bad things to employees and customers alike, it cannot hide forever. Like the Titanic, they are sinking and instead of saving lives the captains of the ship are rearranging the deck chairs and beating the band for playing the wrong music, while others look the other way, avoiding any mention of the lack of life boats. Meanwhile - I have jumped overboard and am swimming, in frigid water, for my life ...

X Close Editor

May 16, 2009
Rating

Submitted by: No Name Girl

Title

Comment
Stand up to bullying in the work place - and I promise you - you stand alone! It's the saddest thing I have ever experienced, and most certainly the toughest. After 13 years with the same company, 11 of which were like a honeymoon, with the last 2 feeling like a violent relationship - I am now unemployed and trying to put my life back together. The road back to "health" has been very hard for me, but I'm a fighter and I believe in justice, fairness, integrity & honesty so I cannot just "heal and walk away". I know that others are being harassed now in my place, and I refuse to look the other way, as they did while it was happening to me. I've consulted an attorney and it looks like this will go to court. But here's what is so very sad. One of my colleagues (who was a witness to much of what happened, and is now a target herself) called me recently in a desparate state - begging me not to mention her name, or to call her as a witness. WHY? How can she be at fault for just admitting to what she saw and heard? Yes WHY indeed! And, if that's not enough to surprise you, then how about the call the company made to my attorney asking him to instruct me to stop talking to their employees - my friends and colleagues who for the most part still call and or visit ME. Still, the word is now out from management that I am not to be talked to, and the subliminal message there is that to support me is to step into my shoes and run the risk of becoming unemployed too. Oh yes - and just to "keep it fair" they have hired someone on a contract to investigate. Hmmm, what is the likelyhood that an outsider will have any clue about the sub culture? Companies have a probation period because a person can maintain a facade for only so long before it cracks. Chances are the bullies will put their best faces forward for the short time of the contract to convince the consultant that all is well and I am a wicked liar. Also - who is paying who here? We all know, you get what you pay for so if you want a certain result, then buy it. Considering a recent environmental "achievement" the company bought and bragged about, this does not surprise me. So - it's off to court we may well go, where I hope the judge is impartial and does NOT buy into media hype & cutsey, folksey PR. The company had an excellent reputation that was real. No more - but the PR machine is still trading on it and while word is seeping into the market, it's still a dirty little secret that is not quite out in public -- YET. The company is large, well known and has done many bad things to employees and customers alike, it cannot hide forever. Like the Titanic, they are sinking and instead of saving lives the captains of the ship are rearranging the deck chairs and beating the band for playing the wrong music, while others look the other way, avoiding any mention of the lack of life boats. Meanwhile - I have jumped overboard and am swimming, in frigid water, for my life ...

Cancel Delete Delete & Ban

throbber Updating Comments page...

May 16, 2009

Coworker Bully Backed by Coworkers
by: Anonymous

I have great empathy for what you are going through... been there, done that, been there, done that. Just know that I am out here supporting you via ESP! If you wish, it is fine with me if Anton gives you my email address... sometimes "real contact" can help when we are in the "survival mode". I simply can't turn my back on someone sinking.

May 29, 2009

Coworker Bullies
by: Teresa

I've worked for a company for 21 years first half was great but one day a girl started and after that it was the worst years of my life. I feel after closing this past feb the hurt is so deep in. She had everyone turn on me. Now I started a new job and was warried of this lady. Yesterday I was her victim. She said she hold grudges bad I was loving my new job too this point. Very hard too look forward to the future in here. Once again what does a person do? Sad

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How?
Simply click here to return to Workplace Bullying Stories

TOP

© 2007-2009 OvercomeBullying.org. All Rights Reserved.
No part of this site may be copied or reused without express written permission.
Any content that is claimed to be in violation of intellectual property infringement or
the legal rights of any person or entity will be removed promptly upon notification.
All trademarks are properties of their respective owners.

Tell Us What
You Think!
What's Your Opinion?
It'll Just Take a Minute

What Every Target Of Workplace Bullying Needs To Know

Coworker Bully Backed by Coworkers

Comments for Coworker Bully Backed by Coworkers

Comments for
Coworker Bully Backed by Coworkers