What Every Target of Workplace Bullying Needs to Know

Dedicated Employee

Dedicated employee, outgoing always wanting to help expand the mission statement set forth by my employer. I was targeted for I was outgoing, always willing to step up to the challenge and helping others along the way. Apparently, others did not take kindly to my work ethics, and hence the mobbing began by managers and directors less dedicated to the company. Comments like "you never say no to anything" came my way.

I was an easy target, as senior employees familiar with my work ethic left their positions, and new younger eager to make it to the top by back stabbing employees were hired. No longer employed, left with symptoms similar to PTSD.

Taking time to heal from this bad experience.

Comments for Dedicated Employee

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Re, dedicated employee..
by: Susan

It seems you made the ideal target for bullies.
If you saw the list of traits of what makes a potential victim - it's on this site and also on Bully Online site - you appear to fit the category of victim traits.

Unfortunately, people who are good at their work, conscientious, honest, fair-minded, etc are often targeted.

The main reason seems to be that we live in a corrupt system built on lies. It might just be that you are a little more honest than the majority of people.

It's a 'dog-eat-dog' society I'm afraid. Either conform to that or be targeted - seems to be the message.

Sir Alan Sugar, that well-known English establishment Peer, summed it up succintly in his latest episode of the Apprentice:

He remarked. "There's only one 'fair' around here - the taxi 'fare' home!"

Take your time
by: Cathy Scannell

Hey I just read your post. I just wanted to say that it takes time to get over these very traumatic experiences. If it is possible for you,seek professional help. It is vital that you discover and reinforce that it is not YOU who caused this problem. You need to take time out to strengthen yourself emotionally, physically and spiritually and to reinforce within you that you are a good person who is loved and is capable of loving and making a contribution to society. For a very long time, I was convinced that I was worthless because these people who were my supervisors, managers, union reps etc said I was the cause of the problem. It took me a very long time to discover that the workplace I was in was extremely unhealthy and that I was one of a very small minority who spoke out against it. Seek professional help if you can to maintain your sanity. Get out and exercise everyday. Watch what you eat and drink. Socialise with your friends and people who positively enforce what a lovely person you are I am sure. I will pray for you tonight

to dedicated employee
by: Anonymous NJ

To Susan: correct, it is a dog eat dog world; but for those of understanding there is MORE than 'this world' / the answer is NEVER become part of such world. We have to be different.

To Cathy: you are correct; dedicated employee was trained properly (spirited person) The older authority was also of that business and human nature good ethics. "do to others as we wish it done to us." That good authority grew up in the 40's and 50's and are now enjoying peace in retirement. We, like dedicated employee, not yet ready for retirement; must endure YOUTHFUL / (immature; and believing ALL there is to living is 'this earth' so get it anyway one can.) (get $$; with their degrees and psychology 101; where they learned how to 'psyche out 'their 'opponent' (not collegue, opponent')

Long-Suffering for 'them' and 'us' is grace properly handled. Pray for those youthful ones.
Remember who we work for.

Solution? DON'T work for anyone. ...anything that makes money is a job. (sell items at flea markets, babysit a neighbor's kid as neighbor works, care for the neighbor(s) pets when they go away for a week's vacation (charge appropriately but less than normal doggie care) Turn an advocation to a vocation. ENJOY LIFE and work to live. (it's possible that GOD got you out of something that was going to not be authentically good for you.)

I came to a new / old idea. As we are making progress (in growing our spirit) We are going to find life seems to be getting harder. This is actually a cause for rejoicing, not sadness.
If life stayed 'easy' we would grow stale and
stagnant. Proverbs 3:5-6 /don't look back and if you think you erred 'out there' a small "I'm sorry" will get you back in good graces. TRUST that.

If you do want to know how managers of businesses 'see things' a good book I found:
"what does someone have to do to get hired around here? 44 insider secrets that will get you hired" By Cynthia Shapiro

And don't think 'others' achieved success in
an easier way. We are human; we err we make bad decisions at times, we fall. Life here has its struggles and EVERYONE will experience it at some point or another. EVERYONE. (it's what we
do; when hard times come that separates sheep from goats and men from boys and girls from women) Adversity builds our character. Stay humble and see good in yourself and others again.

Where 'money' is the focus; folks will betray their own beloved granny for it. (some will) Be aware such exists; and don't fall for 'them.' Protect yourself by keeping A REAL LIFE outside that working world. (family, a few friends, and
your good dreams) Do not work just for money. If you go into 'the competition' / the 'competition' will go after you. (you are going after 'their first love.'

This could be me
by: Connie

While reading your post, I realized that this could very well be me. I have been honest, hard working and dedicated to this company for the past 10 years. I am currently the target of other employees because "I know everything" and they have told me that it's intimidating to them. There is a little "click" of employees at work who repeatedly talk about me and unfortunately, this includes the department head (who has less time with this company than I do). Corporate acknowledges the hostile environment but so far has done little to nothing to correct the situation. I know I am currently suffering from PTSD and am being treated for stress by a physician. And I am STILL employed with this company.

To Connie
by: Anonymous

Connie: If you've been with firm (private enterprise?) for 10 years; the firm would be hard pressed to find fault with you NOW. So; DO NOT be concerned with what 'workers' of a firm say about you. IGNORE THEM as you would ignore the 'kiddies' who gripe and point and laugh on the school playground. JUST DO YOUR JOB as you've been doing for 10 years. The moment you get into their 'antics' and 'frey' (defending yourself or your ways to them) THEN the firm has cause to eliminate...? GUESS WHO? Not those there less years (with less wages paid).

If you are part of 'a union' you have even less to worry over, but I don't think you are, if you were unionized...your colleagues would feel more secure and so 'not care' what you know. (Unions aren't always so perfect; they did some good, and
are good for some but 'not perfect')

But...your collegues are suffering jealousy, insecurity, and might feel you are ostracizing them. I Don't know if you are on an assembly line or sit in a cubicle or if your job depends on interaction with collegues. If you work alone, JUST DO THE WORK given to you and DON'T GET INVOLVED in 'solving difficulties' unless specifically asked. THEN respond carefully, it could be a test. (psyching out is the way it is these days; emotion manipulation...get what does it take to be hired around here; 44 insider secrets to getting hired (or staying hired; actually. Management can't manage authentically anymore because they feer LAWYERS. (the few 'bad' one's who yell rights rights have made life in office miserable)

If you love your job and the work... IGNORE the kiddies. (I bet they are younger than you)

Eat lunch outside your office, come in on time as always, say nothing to comments, in one ear out the other. If they don't want advice or help (because it's percieved to be a know it all) don't talk unless asked to.

...and if you want to get 'them' more on your side, 'stay cool' for awhile; give a compliment TO them (sincerely) as you see. Do the opposite of what they do 'to' you. BE DIFFERENT. Let them do their job as they wish. (I always use the Jesus came to Nazareth but could do no 'miracles' there because "they saw him ONLY as son of Mary and Joseph the carpenter" They didn't realize the worth of Jesus back with them. Be helpful, Be Kind, Be honest and hard working, DO NOT WORK FOR THE PRAISE OF 'MANKIND' / because mankind is NOT going to praise (being different, YOU praise, and you be happy, and you let them know subtly BY ACTIONS just how much YOU LOVE YOUR JOB.

10 YEARS says it all...the firm is happy with you. That's why your collegues WANT YOU TO FAIL.

DON'T GIVE IT TO THEM. If you have the support of the firm you are 'IN' / be mature / remember the folks at home life who LOVE YOU.

In the Same Situation
by: Cathy, NJ

WOW. I though I was the only one going through this. I have worked for this company for over 17 years. Since day one I was given the cold shoulder and treated like dirt. Nothing much has changed since then except that the office manager's daughter is now doing it. I am a hard worker, come in on time, even come in early and on weekends when I don't get paid for it and I still get it. I feel why should I change who I am to please these people but it still hurts. I did nothing wrong to these people. Every little mistake I make gets blown out of proportion by the boss and these girls just get a slap on the wrist. BTW, I am the only White women in this office, the rest are Spanish and the bosses are Black/Italian and White.

Re, Anonymous
by: Sarah

To Anonymous JB
I found my own employment outside the corporate environment to escape the bullying. I did well for years and I am still doing well now.
However, IT/THEY found me and tried to carry out bullying and abuse in the community. I was lied about but I still managed to find clients.
I can't help thinking there was/is something evil in all this, as when someone is attacked by demonic forces, but I know that might be stretching the imagination a bit far!
However, IT/THEY haven't stopped me from travelling between clients and it's all gone quiet.
I hope IT has or THEY have given up on me now, and I can find some peace.
Thanks for your comment, you may well be right!

T0 17 year worker
by: Anonymous (nj)

Hello Cathy of NJ...17 years taking 'dirt' and 'the cold shoulder' ...pat yourself on the back... but then STOP AND REALLY THINK ABOUT YOU

1. Do you like your job? If you do; and you really can 'laugh them off' outside of the office with a strong supportive group of friends or family...then hang in there. (especially if you are in a place where a pension would be...hang for at least 20 years)

2. I was recently told...it is not a shame to leave an employer for another job; if you REALLY have superb skills in an in demand occupation; you will find work... DON'T QUIT til you get that job but this someone who is management said "if your path (values) are not aligning with that of the firm you work fore...it might be more beneficial to begin a job search VERY DISCREETLY AND QUIETLY Won't you just love to hand in your PROFESSIONAL resignation letter where you speak of how another firm found you JUST PERFECT for their team. Get the book...what does a person have to do to get hired around here 44 insider secrets
by Cynthia Shapiro. When you are STILL employed; other companies find you more valuable to 'steal' and while employed
you can say PLEASE DON'T CALL present employer ... just in case they were to sabotage your chances. GET A NEW JOB ... but DO NOT SPEAK A WORD of what you are doing inside that office and only to THE CLOSEST OF CONFIDANTES OUTSIDE OFFICE. 17 YEARS IS A LOT OF EXPERIENCE and you should be treated with
respect (you should be treated with respect even if NOT there 17 years)

3. If you are in a union; they really can't fire you...without going up against that union (is that the case?) But; they can make your life a living hell or misery HOPING you quit...and possibly to get in one of their own. (tough market out there)

4, actually forget looking for another job; just keep doing what you are doing and let them act as they do. Someone in management also said: THIS BEHAVIOR is EVERYTHING that is eating 'them' and not any thing to do with you. (in fact, if you asked them to be specific as to their attitude...they'd stare back blankly...not having a clue as to your words. THEY DON'T HEAR THEMSELVES... people are just snippy and snappy 'AT SOMEONE' (The white bosses can't let it out on minorities; they get special protection from 'legal' and the black bosses they surely aren't going to 'rant' at a 'sister or brother' (it's the law of the neighborhood) So guess what that makes you? VULNERABLE... BUT more than likely highly paid so let it all RUN RIGHT OFF YOUR BACK...and 'x' out another day on the calendar for STANDING PAT... and SMILING. If you are a GOD PERSON...REMEMBER this is ALL going to be remembered' WHERE WE ARE HEADING SOMEDAY...

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