Victimized Personalities
by Mike
(USA)
"Murphy" the author of this letter cannot seem to escape his tormentors. They are in his past, present, and future. Murphy moves and... out with the old bullies and in with the new.
The reader naturally gets the feeling that the problem might be Murphy and, of course, they are correct.
Murphy has done nothing wrong EXCEPT that he has not done the right things either. Most advice to bully victims is to leave their place of employment and go somewhere else. The problem is that some victims bring their bullseye with them wherever they go.
The same phenomenon can be found with abused spouses. They seem to get out of one bad relationship and find themselves in another bad relationship.
Chronic victims are like a lamp to bully moths.
The real culprits are Murphy's parents, teachers, and others who did not help build Murphy with the self-esteem and self-confidence he needed for life as he grew up.
The bully will look for victims. When he finds a potentially weak personality, he will toss out an insult or prepare a difficult situation. Those with self-confidence will repell the attacks and the bully will look for new victims.
It isn't easy - not at all. How can someone build self-esteem for themselves after a lifetime of victimization? It starts with putting yourself in an environment for growth and accomplishment. Find a good mentor. Get Really good at one thing - anything from kickboxing to butterfly collecting, but be the best in your field. Write a book about your expertise. Be the person people go to for help and answers. You will find that people with confidence in any part of their lives will carry that confidence with them through every aspect of their lives.
Don't we all suspect that if we brought Napolean into today's world, he would somehow quickly become the leader of whatever situation he was in, despite his lack of knowledge of computers, automation, language and despite his small physical stature, balding head, and itchy skin rashes? We just don't see him being bullied by some office punk.
Guys like Napolean know they are the Alpha male no matter where they go or what situation they are in. No matter how unfamiliar the situation, strong and confident people bring their confidence with them.
We all need to find that confidence in some aspect of our lives and bring it forward and center - always.
